(O fantezie cu Zenza Raggi)<\/p>\n
Feti\u0163a Fl\u0103m\u00e2nd\u0103 se apropie timid\u0103 de recep\u0163ia hotelului. Venise cu un taxi de la aeroport, \u00eenc\u0103 era u\u015for ame\u0163it\u0103, \u00ee\u015fi sim\u0163ea stomacul puls\u00e2nd ca o a doua inim\u0103, dar \u015ftia ce are de f\u0103cut. “Trece\u0163i, batalioane rom\u00e2ne, Carpa\u0163ii!”, \u00ee\u015fi zise ea.
\n-Sunt de la escort service, spuse ea. Ai mei au primit o comand\u0103 din partea unui domn, Zenza \u015fi nu \u015ftiu mai cum.
\n-Zenza Raggi, o corect\u0103 recep\u0163ionerul dispre\u0163uitor. Ar trebui s\u0103 \u015ftii m\u0103car at\u00e2t, dac\u0103 tot lucrezi \u00een industria sexului.
\n-\u0102, da, spuse Feti\u0163a Fl\u0103m\u00e2nd\u0103 ro\u015find, dar vede\u0163i, eu nu m\u0103 identific cu jobul meu. Hobby-urile mele sunt matematicile superioare \u015fi c\u00e2ntecele patriotice rom\u00e2ne\u015fti. \u00cen timpul liber, rezolv probleme de matematic\u0103 p\u00e2n\u0103 diminea\u0163a \u015fi…
\n-Mda, d\u0103du recep\u0163ionerul ochii peste cap, asta confirm\u0103 teoria mea cum c\u0103 toate curvele-s nebune. Camera 135, etajul 3. \u015ei un sfat: nu-i vorbi lui Zenza despre matematici c\u0103 o s\u0103 i se culce. C\u00e2ntece patriotice po\u0163i c\u00e2nta doar c\u00e2nd o face\u0163i anal, o s\u0103 cread\u0103 c\u0103 \u00eei strigi perversiuni \u00eentr-o limb\u0103 exotic\u0103.<\/p>\n
C\u00e2nd intr\u0103 \u00een lift se \u00eempiedic\u0103 de prag. Un tremur incontrolabil \u00eei cuprinsese genunchii. \u00ce\u015fi aminti de Bul\u0103 \u015fi \u015etrul\u0103 fugari din \u00eenchisoare, ajun\u015fi la al 99-lea gard din 100, “Pula mea, am o t\u00e2r\u015feal\u0103, hai s\u0103 ne \u00eentoarcem”, \u015fi d\u0103du s\u0103 o rup\u0103 la fug\u0103, \u00eenapoi \u00een avion, \u00eenapoi \u00een metrou, \u00eenapoi \u00een trecutul ei de Feti\u0163\u0103 Fl\u0103m\u00e2nd\u0103, dar \u00eent\u00e2lni privirea mu\u015fc\u0103toare a recep\u0163ionerului.
\n-E\u015fti \u00eencep\u0103toare, p\u0103pu\u015f\u0103?
\n-E primul meu job.
\n-Las\u0103 c\u0103 te specializezi tu. Hai, du-te.
\n“Pe-al nostru steag e scris Unire”, se \u00eemboldi ea, apoi ap\u0103s\u0103 butonul argintiu pe care sclipea frumos cifra 3.
\nCifre sclipitoare. 1. 2. 3. Cifre mate. 131, 133, 135. U\u015fa lui. \u00cencle\u015ft\u0103 pumnul, mai-mai s\u0103 se zg\u00e2rie singur\u0103 \u00een palm\u0103 cu unghiile, sim\u0163i o ven\u0103 puls\u00e2ndu-i frenetic la \u00eencheietura m\u00e2inii, \u00eenghi\u0163i \u00een sec. “Acum ori niciodat\u0103, s\u0103 ar\u0103t\u0103m \u00een lume”, \u00ee\u015fi zise ea \u015fi b\u0103tu. Cam slab, cam ezitant, dar b\u0103tu.
\nU\u015fa se deschise. Nu \u00eendr\u0103zni s\u0103 ridice privirea. O l\u0103s\u0103 \u00een jos, urm\u0103rind cu aten\u0163ie tivul impecabil al \u015fortului cu ursule\u0163i. “\u015eort cu ursule\u0163i!?” \u00eencremeni ea. “Asta poart\u0103 el c\u00e2nd nu \u00eel vede nimeni?”
\n-Cine e\u015fti? sim\u0163i el imboldul s\u0103 rup\u0103 t\u0103cerea.
\n-Sunt admiratoarea ta cea mai \u00eenfl\u0103c\u0103rat\u0103. Am acas\u0103 toat\u0103 filmografia ta. Dup\u0103 ce mi-ai acceptat cererea de prietenie de pe Facebook, m-a cuprins un val de nebunie, am luat primul avion, am trecut \u00eenainte pe la cosmetician\u0103 care s\u0103 m\u0103 epileze complet. Am min\u0163it jos la recep\u0163ie c\u0103 sunt de la escort service, s\u0103 \u00eemi dea \u0103la num\u0103rul camerei tale.
\n-Intr\u0103, spuse el pe un ton care se voia indiferent, dar ea sim\u0163i c\u0103 \u00eel emo\u0163ionase. Atunci \u00eendr\u0103zni s\u0103 ridice privirea de la tiv, dar aceasta i se bloc\u0103 din nou, cu c\u00e2\u0163iva centimetri mai sus. Camerele de filmare nu exageraser\u0103 cu nimic.
\n-O, grande Zenza, b\u00e2igui Feti\u0163a Fl\u0103m\u00e2nd\u0103, simt a\u015fa un impuls s\u0103 \u00eengenunchez \u00een fa\u0163a artei tale…
\n-Unde, \u00een hol? Nu e o idee prea bun\u0103, c\u0103 la ora asta se face cur\u0103\u0163enia. Iar pe femeia de serviciu o tot alung de trei s\u0103pt\u0103m\u00e2ni s\u0103 nu \u00eengenuncheze \u00een fa\u0163a artei mele. E complicat s\u0103 fii eu, recunoscu el.
\n“Scula\u0163i, voi, oropsi\u0163i ai sor\u0163ii”, \u00ee\u015fi spuse Feti\u0163a Fl\u0103m\u00e2nd\u0103.
\n-\u0162i-e foame? o \u00eentreb\u0103 Zenza, dup\u0103 ce \u00eenchise u\u015fa \u00een spatele ei \u015fi o a\u015fez\u0103 pe un fotoliu, pentru c\u0103 impulsul de a \u00eengenunchea era at\u00e2t de intens, c\u0103 picioarele refuzau s-o mai asculte, iar el fusese silit s\u0103 o tot ridice.
\n-O, da, murmur\u0103 ea, fix\u00e2nd din priviri un ursule\u0163 mai \u00eempungaci.
\n-Eu tocmai f\u0103ceam gombo\u0163i cu magiun. Am \u00eenv\u0103\u0163at s\u0103 \u00eei prepar la Budapesta. \u00ce\u0163i plac gombo\u0163ii cu magiun?
\n-\u00cemi place tot ce ai s\u0103-mi dai, gemu paroxistic Feti\u0163a Fl\u0103m\u00e2nd\u0103.
\n-Auzi, fat\u0103, spuse el dup\u0103 ce aduse farfuria. Tu tremuri cam tare \u015fi nu vreau s\u0103-mi murd\u0103re\u015fti covorul. Cred c\u0103 o s\u0103 te hr\u0103nesc eu.
\n-Daaa, gemu Feti\u0163a Fl\u0103m\u00e2nd\u0103, \u00een timp ce \u00een g\u00e2ndul ei repeta frenetic: “Hai s\u0103-ntindem hora mare \/ Mai aici \u015fi mai colea…”
\nEl t\u0103ie gombo\u0163ii \u00een \u00eembuc\u0103turi nici prea mari, nici prea mici \u015fi \u00eenfipse ferm \u015fi necru\u0163\u0103tor furculi\u0163a \u00eentr-unul dintre ei.
\n-Hai, casc\u0103 gura mare. Ia-o pe toat\u0103. Ba nu, sufl\u0103 \u00eent\u00e2i, c\u0103 frige.
\nEa primi recunosc\u0103toare ofranda gombo\u0163ului \u015fi sim\u0163i cum magiunul \u00eei umple gura. Delicios, \u00ee\u015fi d\u0103du ea seama cu uimire. Un aluat fraged \u015fi onctuos, iar magiunul era o poveste cu z\u00e2ne.
\n-Uau, izbuti s\u0103 nearticuleze.
\n-Fat\u0103, \u00een timpul meu liber \u00eemi place s\u0103 g\u0103tesc. Magiunul \u0103sta l-am pus eu cu m\u00e2na mea. Am fost la pia\u0163\u0103, am ales eu prunele cu m\u00e2na mea, pe pip\u0103ite, l-am fiert tot cu m\u00e2na mea (\u015fi cu oala, desigur) \u015fi l-am pus \u00een borcane. Vrei un borcan de magiun pentru acas\u0103?
\n-Cu autograf pe capac?
\n-Cu autograf pe fund. Lipim o h\u00e2rtiu\u0163\u0103 adeziv\u0103 pe fundul borcanului \u015fi m\u0103 semnez.
\nTot povestind, \u00eei d\u0103duse tot gombo\u0163ul \u015fi farfuria r\u0103m\u0103sese goal\u0103. Se duse \u015fi-i aduse borcanul cu magiun, lipi h\u00e2rtia \u015fi o semn\u0103. “Doamne, ocrote\u015fte-i pe rom\u00e2ni”, \u00ee\u015fi spuse ea \u00een g\u00e2nd \u015fi-\u015fi scoase rujul.
\n-Zenza, tu e\u015fti porno starul meu preferat. Nu vrei s\u0103-mi dai \u015fi un autograf cu rujul pe s\u00e2ni?
\nEl o \u00eempinse pe spate \u00een pat, smulse bluza de pe ea dintr-o singur\u0103 mi\u015fcare \u015fi \u00eencepu s\u0103-i scrie pasional cu rujul pe s\u00e2ni. Mult. Prea mult pentru un simplu autograf, zise ea \u015fi, printre gemete de extaz, l\u0103s\u0103 privirea \u00een jos \u015fi citi “Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit…” \u00centre timp, el ajunsese cu rujul pe burt\u0103. O \u00eentoarse \u015fi continu\u0103 s\u0103 \u00eei scrie, la fel de violent, pe fese. Ea se mi\u015fca din ce \u00een ce mai spasmodic. El ajunsese deja pe coapse c\u00e2nd ea exclam\u0103 disperat\u0103:
\n-Fute-m\u0103, \u00eenainte s\u0103 \u00eemi termini tot Max Factor Lasting Colouru’ \u0103la bun, care nu se \u015fterge cu ap\u0103!
\n-\u00cemi pare r\u0103u, asta nu pot face, spuse el. Am filmare la 4 \u015fi trebuie s\u0103 \u00eemi menajez erec\u0163ia.
\n–<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
(O fantezie cu Zenza Raggi) Feti\u0163a Fl\u0103m\u00e2nd\u0103 se apropie timid\u0103 de recep\u0163ia hotelului. Venise cu un taxi de la aeroport, \u00eenc\u0103 era u\u015for ame\u0163it\u0103,...<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3103","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-spicy"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3103","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3103"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3103\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3103"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3103"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3103"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}