{"id":312,"date":"2008-08-13T16:09:08","date_gmt":"2008-08-13T13:09:08","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/lorenalupu.wordpress.com\/?p=312"},"modified":"2008-08-13T16:09:08","modified_gmt":"2008-08-13T13:09:08","slug":"hlizibile","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/hlizibile\/","title":{"rendered":"Hlizibile"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Mi-am adus aminte, pentru voi cei ce m\u0103 suspecta\u0163i c\u0103 am dat \u00een febra poeziei, c\u0103 la un moment dat, am publicat \u015fi o parodie de literatur\u0103 erotic\u0103, <a href=\"http:\/\/lorenalupu.wordpress.com\/2008\/03\/12\/tentativa-literara-erotica\/\">aici.<\/a>. Sper s\u0103 v\u0103 plac\u0103.<br \/>\n&#8212;&#8212;<br \/>\nIeri am primit un banc pe messenger, de care am r\u00e2s cu poft\u0103:<!--more--><\/p>\n<p>Ce credeti ca s-ar fi intamplat daca cei trei magi ar fi fost femei, si nu barbati? La aceasta intrebare femeile au raspuns: &#8211; Ar fi cerut indicatii, ar fi ajuns la timp, ar fi ajutat la nasterea copilului, ar fi curatat staulul, ar fi adus un vas cu mancare si cadouri practice. Iata si replica barbatilor: &#8211; Da, si stiti ce ar fi spus cand au plecat? &#8220;Ai vazut ce sandale purta Maria la rochia aia?&#8221; &#8220;Copilul nu seamana deloc cu Iosif!&#8221; &#8220;Va vine sa credeti ca au lasat toate animalele alea dezgustatoare in staul?&#8221; &#8220;Am auzit ca Iosif nici macar nu lucreaza!&#8221; &#8220;Si magarul ala al lor cred ca a avut si zile mai bune!&#8221; &#8220;Vrei sa pariezi cat va dura pana cand iti vei primi vasul inapoi?&#8221;<br \/>\n&#8212;&#8211;<br \/>\nPo\u015fta redac\u0163iei (adic\u0103 ce probleme existen\u0163iale ne-a mai adus tata Gug\u0103l):<\/p>\n<p><strong>long live pastile 1<br \/>\nmata aia cu ochii de sticla 1 <\/strong> &#8211; aici eu nu pot citi altceva dec\u00e2t &#8220;m\u0103-ta&#8221;, \u00eemi pare r\u0103u<br \/>\n<strong>modele de rochii pentru femei grase 1  <\/strong> &#8211; corturi? \ud83d\ude42<br \/>\n<strong>pseudo-dionisie areopagitul 1<br \/>\nvreau sa fac un slide pt iubitul meu 1<br \/>\ncum se numeste desenul ala cu elefantul  1<br \/>\npule mici 1 <\/strong> &#8211; ia de <a href=\"http:\/\/www.resursadefun.ro\/files\/images\/doua-lire-500g-de-pula_1.jpg\" data-rel=\"lightbox-image-0\" data-rl_title=\"\" data-rl_caption=\"\" title=\"\">aici<\/a>, s\u0103 nu m\u0103 mai freci la cap! Sau, dac\u0103 nu te saturi, ia de-<a href=\"http:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=aOhNxOFgDvE\">aici<\/a>!<br \/>\n<strong>cum sa scapi de parul pubian 1<br \/>\naprilie in engleza 1<br \/>\neu nu te-am vrut 1<br \/>\ncum ma sarut ? 1<br \/>\nsuficienta intentia buna 1<br \/>\nmi-a zis ca sunt urata 1  <\/strong> &#8211; \u015fi tu nu i-ai turnat o Cola \u00eentreag\u0103 \u00een cap?<br \/>\n<strong>sex in trei 1<br \/>\nce faci cand ambulanta nu vine 1<br \/>\nteoria conspiratiei 1<br \/>\nsex lorena lupu 1  <\/strong> &#8211; last time I checked, era feminin. s\u0103-mi fi crescut \u00eentre timp&#8230; antene?<br \/>\n<strong>e bine sa combinam nectarine cu banane 1<br \/>\ndop de cauciuc la vin 1<br \/>\nam facut 1<br \/>\nsuntem de o saptamana impreuna si vreau  1<br \/>\ntute in lume 1<br \/>\nvreau sa ma frizez si nu stiu daca mi-ar 1<br \/>\npisici cazute de la etaj 1<br \/>\ncum sa fac sa nu isi dea seama ca nu stiu 1 <\/strong> crede-m\u0103 c\u0103 \u015ftie deja! \ud83d\ude1b<br \/>\n<strong>gazda calea 13 septembrie 1<br \/>\nvinul rosu este bun la h 1  <\/strong> &#8211; ce anume \u00eencepe cu h?<br \/>\n<strong>perioada buna epilat 1  <\/strong> &#8211; se zice c\u0103 anul 1985 a dat o recolt\u0103 bun\u0103, dar nici 1976 nu e de lep\u0103dat.<br \/>\n<strong>&#8220;dinu laz\u0103r&#8221; wikipedia 1<br \/>\nde ce iubim pisicile 1<br \/>\nyoutube conspiratie 1<br \/>\nrautatea feminina 1<br \/>\nreclama coca cola i hate you 1<br \/>\npar pubian natural la femei 1<br \/>\nnokia performant 1<br \/>\ndaca am luat propanolol am voie sa iau s 1  <\/strong> &#8211; \u00eencercare 1<br \/>\n<strong>mail mesenger 1<br \/>\niau propanolol pentru inima pot lua si c 1  <\/strong> &#8211; \u00eencercare 2<br \/>\n<strong>cand iau propanolol pot lua si calciu 1  <\/strong> &#8211; \u00eencercarea 3 &#8211; &#8220;success! n-am dat enter \u00eenainte s\u0103 termin \u00eentrebarea! yeah! \u0103\u0103\u0103&#8230; oops! tot pe blog la proasta asta am nimerit?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p><strong>maria teresa cea mai mare prostituata 1  <\/strong> &#8211; poate curv\u0103, b\u0103ie\u0163el. Prostituatele se caracterizeaz\u0103 prin perceperea de tarif.<br \/>\n<strong>femei tute 1<br \/>\ncum o fac sa ma sarute 1<br \/>\nmelodii erotice 1<br \/>\nmodele epilari 1<br \/>\ncum se deschide o sticla de vin 1<br \/>\nobsesii fierbinti 1  <\/strong> &#8211; n-avem dec\u00e2t \u015fambrate. \ud83d\ude41<br \/>\n<strong>ora in new orleans 1<br \/>\nrosu si negru rochii de seara 1<br \/>\nutere 1<br \/>\ntransexuali heterosexuali 1<br \/>\nfilme erotice grasane 1<br \/>\nce inseamna bengos 1<br \/>\nbabe facand sex extrem 1<br \/>\nfaze hazli cu tonti 1<br \/>\npoze cu bili si bandi 1<br \/>\npustoaica injectie 1<br \/>\nuita-l un astfel de baiat nu te merita 1<br \/>\npoze cu pule mici 1<br \/>\n&#8220;parul tau lung&#8221; 1<br \/>\nsemnele mutilor prin care vorbesc 1<br \/>\nintre balcoane 1<br \/>\ntratamente babesti pentru orice fel de b 1<br \/>\nvalsul cantat cu trompeta 1<br \/>\nlesbiana aviatoare 1<br \/>\ncum sa imi rad parul pubian baiat 1<br \/>\nce cauta lumea pe google 1<br \/>\nincepe cu p se termina cu ula 1 <\/strong> &#8211; las\u0103-m\u0103 s\u0103 ghicesc: \u015fi st\u0103 toat\u0103 noaptea sculat\u0103, nu? Ta-na-na&#8230; patrul\u0103!<br \/>\n<strong>totul despre ville valo 1<br \/>\nfantezi erotice 1<br \/>\nlorena lupu lesbiana 1<br \/>\ncititul in cafea 1<br \/>\npoze nokia modele vechi 1<br \/>\narta populara 1<br \/>\nbelele 1<br \/>\npovestea mea erotica 1  <\/strong> &#8211; p\u0103i tu \u0163i-o cau\u0163i pe guglea, m\u0103i b\u0103iatule?<br \/>\n<strong>obsesia fizica<br \/>\na cazut pisica de la etaj 1  <\/strong> &#8211; p\u0103i du-te, de\u015fteptule, \u015fi ia-o!<br \/>\n<strong>avataruri vesele 1<br \/>\ncati copii mor in fiecare an in romania 1<br \/>\ncaine muscat de sobolan 1<br \/>\nmailuri de dragoste 1  <\/strong><\/p>\n<p>\u015ei pentru c\u0103 eu sunt rea \u015fi non-empatic\u0103, rog cititorii http:\/\/lorenalupu.wordpress.com s\u0103 dea sfaturi bune acestor oameni afla\u0163i la ceas de grea ananghie.<\/p>\n<p>Final apoteotic: dac\u0103 tot i-am spus z\u00e2nei carabin\u0103 \u00een comments c\u0103 exist\u0103 o singur\u0103 persoan\u0103 interesat\u0103 de sexul cu lorena lupu (deci o singur\u0103 c\u0103utare), azi, s\u0103rciutorii s-au r\u0103zg\u00e2ndit. Iote, oamenii cu scaun la cap:<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/lorenalupu.files.wordpress.com\/2008\/08\/statistica.jpg\" data-rel=\"lightbox-image-1\" data-rl_title=\"\" data-rl_caption=\"\" title=\"\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/lorenalupu.files.wordpress.com\/2008\/08\/statistica.jpg?resize=655%2C409\" alt=\"\" width=\"655\" height=\"409\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-321\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>Now, do they have issues or what!?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Mi-am adus aminte, pentru voi cei ce m\u0103 suspecta\u0163i c\u0103 am dat \u00een febra poeziei, c\u0103 la un moment dat, am publicat \u015fi o&#46;&#46;&#46;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-312","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-spicy"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/312","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=312"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/312\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=312"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=312"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=312"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}