{"id":3155,"date":"2011-01-07T15:39:22","date_gmt":"2011-01-07T12:39:22","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/lorenalupu.wordpress.com\/?p=3155"},"modified":"2011-01-07T15:39:22","modified_gmt":"2011-01-07T12:39:22","slug":"tache-me-in-your-loving-arms","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/tache-me-in-your-loving-arms\/","title":{"rendered":"Tache Me in Your Loving Arms"},"content":{"rendered":"

“Simona Tache<\/a> este singurul arcu\u015f care face coardele sufletului meu s\u0103 vibreze”<\/strong><\/p>\n

Oscar Wilde<\/em><\/p>\n

“Dac\u0103 nu ar fi existat Simona Tache<\/a>, a\u015f fi omor\u00e2t cu 23,35% mai mul\u0163i evrei”<\/strong><\/p>\n

Iosif Vissarionovici Stalin<\/em><\/p>\n

“Simona Tache<\/a> este singura femeie din Rom\u00e2nia care este mai sexy dec\u00e2t mine”<\/strong><\/p>\n

Mama lui \u015etefan cel Mare<\/em><\/p>\n

“Simona Tache<\/a> este singura femeie din Rom\u00e2nia care este mai sexy dec\u00e2t Mama lui \u015etefan cel Mare”<\/strong><\/p>\n

Gigel Proptelu\u0163\u0103, \u015fomer, 23 de ani<\/em><\/p>\n

“Simona Tache<\/a> este singura femeie din Rom\u00e2nia care este!”<\/strong><\/p>\n

Marean Vanghelie<\/em><\/p>\n

Sunt oficial dinamitat\u0103. \u015ei s\u0103rit\u0103 \u00een aer! S\u0103 vede\u0163i ce mi s-a \u00eent\u00e2mplat. Mergeam io lini\u015ftit\u0103 pe strad\u0103, c\u00e2nd, deodat\u0103, m-a trecut un pipi. Am intrat \u00een prima cafenea, c\u0103 nu m\u0103 mai puteam \u0163ine. \u015ei, fatalitate! Aveau numai veceuri la care te puteai pi\u0219a \u00een sus.\u015fi atunci mi-am zis: “I love you. Simona Tache! I wanna have your babies. \u015etiu c\u0103 \u015fi tu, \u015fi eu suntem femei, dar poate, prin tehnologie modern\u0103, s\u0103 ia material genetic de la am\u00e2ndou\u0103. Nu \u015ftiu. Ideea e c\u0103 nu vreau copii de la nimeni altcineva.”<\/p>\n

Iar Simona Tache s-a uitat lung \u015fi semnificativ la mine \u015fi mi-a r\u0103spuns:<\/p>\n

“Go fuck yourself with a chainsaw!”<\/p>\n

Atunci ochii mi s-au umplut de lacrimi. Am \u00een\u0163eles c\u0103 dragostea noastr\u0103 este irealizabil\u0103, c\u0103 destinul ne este potrivnic \u015fi a\u015fa mai departe. Ce era s\u0103 fac, dec\u00e2t s\u0103 m\u0103 pi\u015f \u00een sus? Dar Simona Tache s-a disipat, ca o fantezie erotic\u0103 (sau poate una renal\u0103?) ce era.<\/p>\n

Ne\u015ftiind ce s\u0103 cred, m-am dus s\u0103 m\u0103 sp\u0103l pe m\u00e2ini. S\u0103punul se terminase, ca \u00een orice bar care se respect\u0103, dar aveau detergent lichid de vase. Nu dau numele, s\u0103 nu fac publicitate gratis, c\u0103 nici Fairy nu-mi pl\u0103te\u015fte mie chiria. \u015ei din tubul de detergent a ie\u015fit tot ea. Simona Tache. Plutea \u00eentr-un balona\u015f multicolor de s\u0103pun. Eu am c\u0103zut \u00een genunchi, ca \u00een fa\u0163a unui miracol, \u015fi i-am \u015foptit:<\/p>\n

“I still love you, Simona Tache!”<\/p>\n

Iar Simona Tache m-a privit ad\u00e2nc \u015fi sfredelitor \u015fi mi-a r\u0103spuns:<\/p>\n

“Did I mention you should go fuck yourself with a chainsaw?”<\/p>\n

La aceste cuvinte, m-am f\u00e2st\u00e2cit. \u015ei voi v-a\u0163i fi. P\u00e2n\u0103 s\u0103-mi revin \u015fi s\u0103 g\u0103sesc un r\u0103spuns pertinent la aceast\u0103 \u00eentrebare, balonul de s\u0103pun s-a spart, iar dulcea f\u0103ptur\u0103 a Simonei Tache s-a disipat. Iar.<\/p>\n

Am luat un prosop de h\u00e2rtie, m-am \u015fters pe m\u00e2ini. Am ridicat capacul co\u015fului de gunoi s\u0103 arunc ghemotocul de h\u00e2rtie \u00een\u0103untru. Dar nu am \u00eendr\u0103znit s\u0103 arunc \u015fi privirea. Mi-era team\u0103 s\u0103 nu apar\u0103 \u015fi de acolo. Simona Tache. \u015ei s\u0103 nu cumva s\u0103-mi spun\u0103: “I insist you should go fuck yourself with a chainsaw.”<\/p>\n

Exist\u0103 suferin\u0163e pe care nici m\u0103car eu nu le pot \u00eendura.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

“Simona Tache este singurul arcu\u015f care face coardele sufletului meu s\u0103 vibreze” Oscar Wilde “Dac\u0103 nu ar fi existat Simona Tache, a\u015f fi omor\u00e2t...<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3155","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-spicy"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3155","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3155"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3155\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3155"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3155"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3155"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}