{"id":3658,"date":"2011-05-14T10:58:47","date_gmt":"2011-05-14T07:58:47","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/lorenalupu.wordpress.com\/?p=3658"},"modified":"2011-05-14T10:58:47","modified_gmt":"2011-05-14T07:58:47","slug":"ce-oroare","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/ce-oroare\/","title":{"rendered":"Ce oroare!"},"content":{"rendered":"

De c\u00e2te ori mi se \u00eent\u00e2mpl\u0103 chestii despre care nu am chef s\u0103 scriu, am o resurs\u0103 fabuloas\u0103 de penibil. Azi, trendurile de costume de baie<\/a>, pe stilfeminin.ro. <\/p>\n

Atac la v\u0103z 1: Costumele de baie negre. <\/p>\n

Asta e ca-n bancul \u0103la: “-Gigel \u00eemi vorbe\u015fte doar despre m\u0103-sa.
\n-P\u0103i \u00eembrac\u0103-te \u015fi tu sexy \u00eentr-o sear\u0103, s\u0103 \u00eei furi min\u0163ile.
\n\u015ei se \u00eembrac\u0103 femeia \u00eentr-un corset de dantel\u0103 neagr\u0103, care-i eviden\u0163iaz\u0103 s\u00e2nii \u015fi talia, cu ciorapi de m\u0103tase neagr\u0103, cu pantofi cu toc de lac negru, se \u00eentinde languros pe canapea, cu un z\u00e2mbet pervers pe fa\u0163\u0103, \u015fi-l a\u015fteapt\u0103 pe Gigel. Intr\u0103 Gigel:
\n-Aoleuuu! A murit mama?” <\/p>\n

Deci, negrul nu e culoare de purtat pe plaj\u0103, cum nu e rozul bombon la \u00eenmorm\u00e2ntare. Dac\u0103 e\u015fti nebronzat, negrul te face s\u0103 pari hidos de alb \u015fi br\u00e2nzos, dac\u0103 e\u015fti bronzat, nu-\u0163i pune \u00een valoare bronzul. E cea mai proast\u0103 op\u0163iune posibil\u0103. <\/p>\n

Atac la v\u0103z 2: Costumele de baie \u00een culori \u0163ip\u0103toare<\/p>\n

S\u0103 \u015ftie toat\u0103 plaja c\u0103 e\u015fti acolo. S\u0103 fii vizibil din avion, s\u0103 \u00eenregistreze sateli\u0163ii cadre cu tine. S\u0103 consemneze extratere\u015ftrii c\u0103, prin monotonia din jur, se mi\u015fca o pat\u0103 de culoare interesant\u0103.
\nS\u0103 mor eu dac\u0103 \u00een\u0163eleg ostenta\u0163ia de acest gen. E\u015fti ur\u00e2t cu cl\u0103buci? O \u0163inut\u0103 “fosforescent\u0103” e ca o invita\u0163ie: “Vreau mi\u015fto-urile voastre aprige.” E\u015fti o persoan\u0103 frumoas\u0103? Ce-ar fi s\u0103 alegi chestii mai simple, dar care s\u0103 te pun\u0103 \u00een valoare, nu invers? <\/p>\n

Atac la v\u0103z 3: Animal print. <\/p>\n

Kitschul ne-a invadat deja cartierele, nun\u0163ile, cumetriile, parcurile, scuarele. Ce are plaja, s\u0103 o scutim de kitsch? Un colac de os\u00e2nz\u0103 \u00een jurul taliei e pus perfect \u00een valoare de animal print: ne spune c\u0103 \u015fi porcul e o fiar\u0103. <\/p>\n

Atac la v\u0103z 4: Dantela <\/p>\n

Bunic\u0103-mea nu purta \u00een intimitate dec\u00e2t budig\u0103i tip gogo\u015far \u015fi furouri lungi pentru c\u0103 “nu era curv\u0103”. Noi avem dulapurile pline de lenjerie intim\u0103 marca “\u00een ciuda pulii”. Dar avem o suferin\u0163\u0103: nu ne vede dec\u00e2t unul… hai trei fraieri. P\u0103i de ce s\u0103 nu \u00eemi port sutienul stacojiu cu push-up, decupat cu vedere la sf\u00e2rcuri \u015fi chilo\u0163ii aferen\u0163i, cu gaur\u0103 \u00een dreptul vaginului, pe plaj\u0103, \u015fi s\u0103 zic c\u0103-i costum de baie? Am dou\u0103 avantaje: 1. \u00eemi pot purta colec\u0163ia de costume erectile \u00een v\u0103zul tuturor, s\u0103 vad\u0103 \u015fi ei c\u0103-s valoroas\u0103 \u015fi 2. pot \u0163ine teorii lungi vecinelor despre c\u00e2t de porci sunt b\u0103rba\u0163ii care vor veni s\u0103 se dea la mine, cu satisfac\u0163ia secret\u0103 c\u0103 \u00eenc\u0103 scol pula dintr-o singur\u0103 privire, iar ea nu. <\/p>\n

\u015ei \u00eenchei cu un paragraf de anticipa\u0163ie: uite costumul de baie perfect al anului 2012.
\n\"\"<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

De c\u00e2te ori mi se \u00eent\u00e2mpl\u0103 chestii despre care nu am chef s\u0103 scriu, am o resurs\u0103 fabuloas\u0103 de penibil. Azi, trendurile de costume...<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3658","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-spicy"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3658","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3658"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3658\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3658"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3658"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3658"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}