Nu contabilii \u00een general, ci doar \u0103ia de care m\u0103 ciocnesc eu. <\/p>\n
Contabilul e omul lu’ “Mai \u00cencolo”. Fraza lui tipic\u0103 este “Nu se poate”. De c\u00e2te ori te duci s\u0103-i m\u0103rturise\u015fti o fantezie incendiar\u0103, riposteaz\u0103 “N-avem bani!” <\/p>\n
Nu exist\u0103 turn off mai grav dec\u00e2t aceste trei fraze: mai \u00eencolo \/ nu se poate \/ n-avem bani. <\/p>\n
C\u00e2nd Dumnezeu a dat oamenilor creativitatea, \u015farpele a introdus \u00een m\u0103rul cunoa\u015fterii o otrav\u0103 secret\u0103, numit\u0103 “ideea de buget”. Omul inocent al \u00eenceputurilor putea face orice, oric\u00e2t, oricum, doar s\u0103 nu sar\u0103 gardul gr\u0103dinii lui Dumnezeu. Apoi a mu\u015fcat din m\u0103r \u015fi \u015fi-a pus instant dou\u0103 probleme:
\n“Mi se vede micimea pulii, hai s\u0103 pun frunze pe mine, s\u0103 rotunjesc pache\u0163elul”
\n“Trebuie s\u0103-i limitez pe semenii mei inventivi. ‘Nu se poate’. ‘Mai \u00eencolo’. ‘N-avem bani’, ca s\u0103 \u00eemi hr\u0103nesc iluzia egalit\u0103\u0163ii cu ei.” <\/p>\n
\u015ei pentru a face acest lucru, \u00een timp ce seam\u0103nul s\u0103u creator ciocnea dou\u0103 pietre \u015fi crea focul, omul meschin a zg\u00e2rmat cu un b\u0103\u0163 \u00een nisip: “Bilan\u0163 contabil: focul consum\u0103 5 lemne pe or\u0103. Timp de cules lemnul de pe jos: 10 secunde. Dac\u0103 te apleci de 6 ori pe minut, faci febr\u0103 muscular\u0103. <\/p>\n
Decizie economic\u0103: NU SE POATE.” <\/p>\n
Omul creativ: p\u0103i poate facem o ma\u015fin\u0103 care s\u0103 culeag\u0103 ea lemne. <\/p>\n
“Ma\u015fina necesit\u0103 materii prime. Materiile prime trebuie dezgropate cu lopata. \u00cenc\u0103 nu am inventat lopata. <\/p>\n
Decizie economic\u0103: NU SE POATE”. <\/p>\n
Omul creator: hai, m\u0103, c\u0103 rup io din timpul meu liber \u015fi inventez io lopata. <\/p>\n
“Rupere din timpul t\u0103u liber = surmenaj. Surmenaj = randament sc\u0103zut pe c\u00e2mpul muncii. Munca: num\u0103ratul corect al flocilor. Dac\u0103 nu ne dai num\u0103rul corect al flocilor t\u0103i, p\u0103gube\u015fti comunitatea. <\/p>\n
Decizie economic\u0103: NU SE POATE”. <\/p>\n
Atunci, omul creator se apuc\u0103 s\u0103 masacreze contabili. \u00cei puse \u00een pungi de-un chil \u015fi \u00eencepu s\u0103 scrie: <\/p>\n
“70 pungi carne cu os, calitatea a un\u015fpea. Indica\u0163ii merceologice: a se p\u0103stra la rece. Dar \u00eenc\u0103 n-am inventat frigiderul. <\/p>\n
Decizie economic\u0103: NU SE POATE”. <\/p>\n
Iar c\u00e2nd \u00ee\u015fi d\u0103du seama c\u0103 se molipsise, se sinucise rapid, sufoc\u00e2ndu-se cu nisipul pe care scrisese asta. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Nu contabilii \u00een general, ci doar \u0103ia de care m\u0103 ciocnesc eu. Contabilul e omul lu’ “Mai \u00cencolo”. Fraza lui tipic\u0103 este “Nu se...<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3688","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-spicy"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3688","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3688"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3688\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3688"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3688"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3688"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}