Azi am plecat de la Vice \u015fi am luat-o pe jos, \u00eent\u00e2i cu o coleg\u0103, apoi p\u00e2n\u0103 la Unirii, s\u0103 fac mi\u015fcare pe r\u0103coare. Nu \u015ftiu cam pe unde a \u00eenceput s\u0103 m\u0103 urm\u0103reasc\u0103. Cert e c\u0103 pe la Unirii s-a pus prin preajma mea \u015fi a \u00eenceput s\u0103 m\u0103 fixeze cu privirea aia b\u0103loas\u0103 care \u00eemi inspir\u0103 antipatie subit\u0103. M-am ridicat, m-am a\u015fezat pe alte scaune. A a\u015fteptat s\u0103 se ridice femeia de l\u00e2ng\u0103 mine \u015fi i-a ocupat locul fix\u00e2ndu-m\u0103 b\u0103los \u015fi vomitiv \u00een continuare.<\/p>\n
M-am ridicat iar. Orice b\u0103rbat normal ar fi \u00een\u0163eles: ok, pizda asta nu se fute, hai s\u0103-mi fixez libidino\u015feniile pe alta, dar genul goodman nimic. Eu m\u0103 tot strecuram printre coloane, \u0103sta venea dup\u0103 mine ca un robot teleghidat. A trecut un Anghel Saligny, l-am l\u0103sat s\u0103 plece. A trecut \u015fi o Republic\u0103. Am sperat s\u0103 genul goodman a priceput \u00een mor\u0163ii proastei de m\u0103-sa c\u0103 e unwanted \u015fi s-a dus \u00een mor\u0163ii proastei de m\u0103-sa. A mai trecut un Saligny, am luat urm\u0103torul metrou spre Republica. C\u00e2nd am cobor\u00e2t la Titan, am observat c\u0103 genul goodman se \u0163inea dup\u0103 mine. Chit c\u0103 eram la doi pa\u015fi de ie\u015fire, am cotit-o subit \u015fi am pornit \u00een direc\u0163ia opus\u0103. C\u00e2nd am ajuns aproape de aparate, m-am uitat \u00een spate. Goodmanul, lipsit de orice subtilitate, venea teleghidat.<\/p>\n
Frate, c\u00e2t de lipsi\u0163i de orice form\u0103 de decen\u0163\u0103 \u015fi de coloan\u0103 vertebral\u0103 pute\u0163i s\u0103 fi\u0163i, s\u0103 urm\u0103ri\u0163i ca vitele proaste ni\u015fte pizde care v\u0103 arat\u0103 explicit c\u0103 nu-s interesate.<\/p>\n
M-am tras la perete \u015fi am a\u015fteptat s\u0103 urce. Gardianul m-a observat. M-a \u00eentrebat:<\/p>\n
-S-a \u00eent\u00e2mplat ceva?<\/p>\n
I-am relatat povestea, mai pu\u0163in \u00eenjur\u0103turile. Face:<\/p>\n
-Urc eu cu dvs., s\u0103-l vedem dac\u0103 v\u0103 a\u015fteapt\u0103.<\/p>\n
Logic c\u0103 m\u0103 a\u015ftepta. Nici m\u0103car c\u00e2nd a v\u0103zut gardianul nu a dat semne c\u0103 vrea s\u0103 plece, a scos doar mobilul \u015fi a \u00eenceput s\u0103 tasteze. I l-am ar\u0103tat \u015fi am \u00eentrebat:<\/p>\n
-Pot s\u0103 cobor \u00eenapoi cu dvs.?<\/p>\n
Jos, cu gardianul \u015fi tipa de la bilete, ne-am g\u00e2ndit ce s\u0103 facem. \u00cent\u00e2i mi-au propus s\u0103 stau pu\u0163in la peron, s\u0103 a\u015ftept s\u0103 se dep\u0103rteze idiotul. Dar eu \u015ftiu c\u0103 genul goodman n-are ocupa\u0163ie, deci are tiiiimp, n-are m\u00e2ndrie uman\u0103, deci st\u0103\u0103\u0103\u0103 ore \u00een \u015fir dac\u0103 e, \u015fi nu se prinde din aluzii fine, cum ar fi “du-te-n pizda m\u0103-tii” c\u0103 ar trebui s\u0103 se duc\u0103 \u00een pizda m\u0103-sii. \u015ei mi-a venit ideea salvatoare:<\/p>\n
-Iau metroul dou\u0103 sta\u0163ii \u00eenapoi la Dristor, unde-s toate taxiurile alea, \u015fi iau un taxi de acolo.<\/p>\n
Zis \u015fi f\u0103cut. \u015ei a\u015fa am sc\u0103pat de h\u0103r\u0163uial\u0103 \/ pis\u0103logeal\u0103 \/ futere la cap \/ urm\u0103rire p\u00e2n\u0103 acas\u0103 sau ce mor\u0163ii m\u0103-sii voia genul goodman s\u0103-mi fac\u0103. PENTRU C\u0102, VITELE DRACU’ PROASTE, NU AJUNGE S\u0102 VRE\u0162I VOI, MAI TREBUIE S\u0102 VREA \u015eI FEMEILE, PI\u015eA-V-A\u015e MORMINTELE MAMELOR VOASTRE DE CRETINII PIZDII!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Azi am plecat de la Vice \u015fi am luat-o pe jos, \u00eent\u00e2i cu o coleg\u0103, apoi p\u00e2n\u0103 la Unirii, s\u0103 fac mi\u015fcare pe r\u0103coare....<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3988","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-spicy"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3988","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3988"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3988\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3988"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3988"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3988"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}