{"id":40,"date":"2007-12-31T15:11:13","date_gmt":"2007-12-31T12:11:13","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/lorenalupu.wordpress.com\/2007\/12\/31\/pateul-care-canta\/"},"modified":"2007-12-31T15:11:13","modified_gmt":"2007-12-31T12:11:13","slug":"pateul-care-canta","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/pateul-care-canta\/","title":{"rendered":"Pateul care c\u00e2nt\u0103"},"content":{"rendered":"

(publicat ini\u0163ial pe Yahoo 360, pe 31 iulie)<\/p>\n

Azi mi-a venit \u00een vizit\u0103 o drag\u0103-drag\u0103… Nu v\u0103 g\u00e2ndi\u0163i la prostii, fata e o amic\u0103 str\u0103veche, \u015fi avem un deal \u00eempreun\u0103 (ntz, nu Dealu’ Mare, ci Dealu-Biznis): eu o \u00eenv\u0103\u0163 ni\u015fte englez\u0103 conversa\u0163ional\u0103 pentru un job, ea \u00eemi poveste\u015fte o experien\u0163\u0103 traumatizant\u0103 pe care a tr\u0103it-o recent, \u015fi care va constitui nucleul celui de-al treilea roman al “QUEER TRILOGY” – primele dou\u0103 fiind deja-scrisele “Rondo Capriccioso”, respectiv, \u00een curs de apari\u0163ie, “B\u0103t\u0103u\u015fu’ de c\u00e2mpi” – da, da, \u0103la care \u00eencepe cu “B\u0103i, Dumnezeule”… Chestie care a iscat ni\u015fte discu\u0163ii acerbe… dar despre asta, cu alt\u0103 ocazie…<\/p>\n

Buuun. First of all, am descoperit cu stupoare c\u0103 sunt capabil\u0103 s\u0103 fac cur\u0103\u0163enie \u00eentr-o or\u0103 \u015fi jum\u0103tate. (Men\u0163ionez, de c\u00e2nd am program de tradus de la 7:00 a. m. p\u00e2n\u0103 la 2:00, (tot a. m.) \u00een fiecare zi, casa mea e-un c\u00e2ntec cu acorduri ample, mai exact o colec\u0163ie de c\u0103ni de cafea, ambalaje de ciocolat\u0103, p\u0103h\u0103ru\u0163e goale de iaurt \u015fi s\u00e2mburi de piersici. \u015ei ocazional, coji metalice de ananas (rondele sau buc\u0103\u0163i, \u00een suc propriu). Concluzia: \u00een ziua \u00een care nici una din muze nu m\u0103 va mai iubi, pot s\u0103 c\u00e2\u015ftig un ban cinstit din menaj. Good 2 know!<\/p>\n

Apoi: s\u0103 cump\u0103r\u0103m ceva omenesc de m\u00e2ncare. Omenesc nu \u00eenseamn\u0103 neap\u0103rat “cordon bleu” \u015fi ra\u0163\u0103 pe portocale… nici m\u0103car cartofi (pr\u0103ji\u0163i sau natur) cu gr\u0103tare… pt. c\u0103 mi-e mil\u0103 de timpul irosit astfel \u00een condi\u0163iile mele de criz\u0103 major\u0103 de timp. Omenesc \u00eenseamn\u0103 s\u0103 nu pretind de la biata fat\u0103 s\u0103 moar\u0103 de foame de amorul artei!<\/p>\n

A\u015fadar, iat-o pe Lorena la “Mega Image”, examin\u00e2nd rafturile cu alimente care s\u0103 nu necesite fierbere, pr\u0103jire – mai exact, raionul “Posmagi muie\u0163i”.<\/p>\n

Privirea i-a fost atras\u0103 de ambalajul de h\u00e2rtie galben-\u0163ip\u0103toare al pateului de ficat “Ardealul”. Pt. c\u0103 Lorena nu suport\u0103 galbenul. Dar ea, \u00een general, e atras\u0103 de lucrurile pe care nu le suport\u0103. Ia cutia \u015fi cite\u015fte: “Dac\u0103 \u00ee\u0163i c\u00e2nt\u0103 cutia la desfacere, c\u00e2\u015ftigi bla-bla-bla…” Nu conteaz\u0103 ce c\u00e2\u015ftigi, conteaz\u0103 faptul c\u0103 AIA E O CUTIE DE PATEU CU POTEN\u0162IAL LIRIC. imagine that!!!<\/p>\n

Buun, a r\u0103mas pateul, s-a completat cu o roti\u0163\u0103 mic\u0103 de ca\u015fcaval, trei ro\u015fii cu \u0163ugui (c\u0103 mi se par mai aromate), trei ardei obezi \u015fi o p\u00e2ine neagr\u0103 feliat\u0103 cu adaos de nu-\u015f ce fibre (m\u0103 rog, ideea e c\u0103, cu c\u00e2t m\u0103n\u00e2nci mai mult\u0103, cu at\u00e2t sl\u0103be\u015fti mai tare, la un moment dat ri\u015fti s\u0103 dispari), un suc \u015fi (se putea??) o ciocolat\u0103 cu alune…<\/p>\n

LATER:<\/p>\n

-\u015ei ce faci cu Loganu’ dac\u0103-l c\u00e2\u015ftigi?<\/p>\n

-\u00cel dau lu’ frati-miu c\u0103 n-am carnet de \u015fofer.<\/p>\n

-Bine, hai, desf\u0103-l.<\/p>\n

Pulic\u0103: Miauuuu!<\/p>\n

-Sssst! Pis-pis-pis, hai s\u0103-\u0163i arate mama ceva la baie… jap! u\u015fa dup\u0103 el.<\/p>\n

-Hai, desf\u0103-l odat\u0103!!!<\/p>\n

-Desf\u0103-l tu, c\u0103 eu r\u0103m\u00e2n mereu cu chei\u0163a \u00een m\u00e2n\u0103.<\/p>\n

-Atunci fac Loganu’ pe din nou\u0103 cu frati-tu.<\/p>\n

-Da, da, desf\u0103-l.<\/p>\n

\u015ei \u00eel desfacem, \u015fi t\u0103cem. Lini\u015fte. Foarte lini\u015fte.<\/p>\n

-\u0102\u0103\u0103\u0103… colectiv.<\/p>\n

-B\u0103i, Lorena, s\u0103 \u015ftii c\u0103-mi iau \u015fi eu pentru acas\u0103, chiar vreau s\u0103 v\u0103d cum c\u00e2nt\u0103 “Ardealul”!!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

(publicat ini\u0163ial pe Yahoo 360, pe 31 iulie) Azi mi-a venit \u00een vizit\u0103 o drag\u0103-drag\u0103… Nu v\u0103 g\u00e2ndi\u0163i la prostii, fata e o amic\u0103...<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[116],"class_list":["post-40","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-spicy","tag-delicii"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/40","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=40"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/40\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=40"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=40"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=40"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}