{"id":4078,"date":"2011-08-23T13:33:30","date_gmt":"2011-08-23T10:33:30","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/lorenalupu.wordpress.com\/?p=4078"},"modified":"2011-08-23T13:33:30","modified_gmt":"2011-08-23T10:33:30","slug":"why-you-no-listen-to-i-say","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/why-you-no-listen-to-i-say\/","title":{"rendered":"Why you no listen to I say?"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><strong>\u00a0Salut, sunt Ostap Bender \u0219i azi sunt de serviciu la \u0219ters tabla.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Am scris ceva mai demult tot aici cum am v\u0103zut pe strad\u0103 o \u021biganc\u0103 \u00eemping\u00e2nd un c\u0103rucior cu un copil care sugea un crenvur\u0219ti. Ghici ce? Azi, aceea\u0219i \u021biganc\u0103, cu doi copii de data asta, dintre care cel mai mic si probabil \u0103la care era in carucior data trecut\u0103 \u0219i acum f\u0103cea balona\u0219e din muci, erau in fa\u021ba unei alimentare.<br \/>\n&#8211; Ce vrei, b\u0103? Cremu\u0219?<br \/>\nZece minute mai t\u00e2rziu fiecare tuciurel sugea cu mandrie din crenvur\u0219tiul lui.<a href=\"http:\/\/lorenalupu.files.wordpress.com\/2011\/08\/condoms.jpg\" data-rel=\"lightbox-image-0\" data-rl_title=\"\" data-rl_caption=\"\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-4079\" title=\"\" src=\"http:\/\/lorenalupu.files.wordpress.com\/2011\/08\/condoms.jpg?resize=500%2C375\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"375\" \/><\/a><br \/>\nDemulinez 2 metri din lesa c\u0103\u021belului s\u0103 poat\u0103 mirosi toti c\u0103ca\u021bii de pe trotuar \u0219i merg mai departe. Privesc fe\u021bele oamenilor \u0219i \u00eencerc s\u0103 mi-i amintesc din adolescen\u021b\u0103. Uite-o pe gagica aia finu\u021b\u0103 de m\u0103 iubea printr-a doi\u0219pea, moaaaam\u0103, ce burtaoc\u0103 are. \u00cei gravid\u0103, hmmm.<br \/>\nFemeie \u00een jur de 30 de ani cu \u021b\u00e2\u021be imense. Oare de unde o cunosc? Nu conteaz\u0103, hai sa-ncep s\u0103 m\u0103 joc. Io am un joc pe care l-am inventat \u0219i \u00eemi place s\u0103-l joc c\u00e2nd merg pe strada. M\u0103 uit in zare sau \u00een p\u0103m\u00e2nt \u00eenainte s\u0103 ma intersectez cu o persoan\u0103 de sex feminin \u0219i ridic brusc privirea \u00een ochii ei c\u00e2nd ajungem fa\u021b\u0103 \u00een fa\u021b\u0103. \u00cen 90 la sut\u0103 din cazuri se impiedec\u0103 sau scapa ceva din m\u00e2n\u0103. Femeia cu s\u00e2ni imen\u0219i \u0219i-o sc\u0103pat telefonul. Cum dracu o chema pe asta, c\u0103 mi-o amintesc?!<br \/>\nCea mai mare reu\u0219it\u0103\u00a0 din jocu \u0103sta al meu cretin o fost c\u00e2nd o tanti cu dou\u0103 plase mari\u00a0 s-o \u00eempiedicat si venea \u00een vitez\u0103 cu capul inainte spre mine \u0219i colegu de trotuar care cu un<br \/>\n\u201doleee!\u201d sonor reu\u0219e\u0219te sa evite elegant \u0219i gra\u021bios impactul cu doamna \u00een prabu\u0219ire. Normal c\u0103 tot io o trebuit s-o ajut sa se ridice.<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/lorenalupu.files.wordpress.com\/2011\/08\/womens.jpg\" data-rel=\"lightbox-image-1\" data-rl_title=\"\" data-rl_caption=\"\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-4080\" title=\"\" src=\"http:\/\/lorenalupu.files.wordpress.com\/2011\/08\/womens.jpg?resize=500%2C375\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"375\" \/><\/a>\u00a0Aaaaa, mi-am amintit de femeia cu \u021b\u00e2\u021be imense. \u00cen liceu \u00eei ziceam \u201dfata cu pepenii\u201d.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>\u00a0Salut, sunt Ostap Bender \u0219i azi sunt de serviciu la \u0219ters tabla. Am scris ceva mai demult tot aici cum am v\u0103zut pe strad\u0103&#46;&#46;&#46;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-4078","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-spicy"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4078","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4078"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4078\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4078"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4078"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4078"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}