{"id":4375,"date":"2011-10-19T13:30:31","date_gmt":"2011-10-19T10:30:31","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/lorenalupu.wordpress.com\/?p=4375"},"modified":"2011-10-19T13:30:31","modified_gmt":"2011-10-19T10:30:31","slug":"sunt-nevasta-cuiva","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/sunt-nevasta-cuiva\/","title":{"rendered":"Sunt nevasta cuiva"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Ieri trolam eu calm pe site-ul kamikazeonline (<a href=\"http:\/\/www.kamikazeonline.ro\/2011\/10\/am-pierdut-cateaua\/\">aici<\/a>) c\u00e2nd vine un retard \u015fi \u00eencepe s\u0103 se zbor\u015feasc\u0103 brusc la mine c\u0103 \u015ftie el cum mi-a disp\u0103rut b\u0103rbatul. \u00cel \u00eentreb ce b\u0103rbat, cum \u00eel cheam\u0103 pe cet\u0103\u0163ean s\u0103 aflu \u015fi eu, \u0103la evit\u0103 r\u0103spunsul \u015fi continu\u0103 s\u0103 bat\u0103 c\u00e2mpii injurios, oblig\u00e2ndu-m\u0103 la futere redundant\u0103 \u015fi ap\u0103sat\u0103 de mam\u0103, datini \u015fi neam, p\u00e2n\u0103 c\u00e2nd s-a milostivit un admin \u015fi a f\u0103cut curat taman c\u00e2nd \u00eei explicam cum stilul lui (al retardului) are o singur\u0103 justificare logic\u0103, \u015fi anume sifilisul congenital.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Azi, umblam io pe la ni\u015fte firme s\u0103-mi recuperez banii pe diverse lucr\u0103ri. Mergeam pe o str\u0103du\u0163\u0103 \u00eengust\u0103, m\u0103rginit\u0103 de copaci seculari, exact ca-ntr-o compunere de clasa a IV-a cu titlul &#8220;Cum mi-am petrecut vacan\u0163a&#8221;. Adia un v\u00e2ntule\u0163, s\u0103 nu uit. \u015ei \u00eemi ies \u00een cale doi pensionari (un el \u015fi o dumneaei). Deodat\u0103, \u00eencep s\u0103 m\u0103 priveasc\u0103 penetrant, sfredelitor chiar; iar el se apleac\u0103 la urechea ei \u015fi-i \u015fopte\u015fte, suficient de tare s\u0103 aud \u015fi eu:<\/p>\n<p>-Asta-i nevasta lu&#8217;&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>Baba d\u0103 din cap, f\u0103r\u0103 s\u0103-\u015fi \u00a0ia ochii de la mine.<\/p>\n<p>-O \u015ftiu dup\u0103 ochi, continu\u0103 mo\u015fu&#8217;.<\/p>\n<p>\u015ei continu\u0103 am\u00e2ndoi s\u0103 m\u0103 fixeze, p\u00e2n\u0103 dispar \u00een zare.<\/p>\n<p>&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;<\/p>\n<p>\u015etiu-\u015ftiu, \u0103la era troll oligofren, iar \u0103\u015ftia, doi bo\u015forogi confuza\u0163i. No connection whatsoever. Dar eu a\u015f putea scrie acum un roman absurd pe tema asta. Una nevinovat\u0103, pe care brusc un ora\u015f \u00eentreg o suspecteaz\u0103 \/ acuz\u0103 \/ \u0163ine \u00een apropouri vizavi de o c\u0103s\u0103torie misterioas\u0103. Treptat, afl\u0103 \u015fi ea despre ce este vorba &#8211; iar adev\u0103rul o face s\u0103 se cutremure.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Ieri trolam eu calm pe site-ul kamikazeonline (aici) c\u00e2nd vine un retard \u015fi \u00eencepe s\u0103 se zbor\u015feasc\u0103 brusc la mine c\u0103 \u015ftie el cum&#46;&#46;&#46;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-4375","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-spicy"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4375","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4375"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4375\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4375"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4375"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4375"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}