{"id":5258,"date":"2012-05-22T20:24:40","date_gmt":"2012-05-22T20:24:40","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/lorenalupu.wordpress.com\/?p=5258"},"modified":"2012-05-22T20:24:40","modified_gmt":"2012-05-22T20:24:40","slug":"unde-s-bananele-de-altadata","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/unde-s-bananele-de-altadata\/","title":{"rendered":"Unde-s bananele de alt\u0103dat\u0103?"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Azi, la chio\u015fc. Scosesem deja banii, c\u00e2nd, clienta din fa\u0163a mea cere:<br \/>\n-Da\u0163i-mi, v\u0103 rog, dou\u0103 banane, dar s\u0103 fie c\u00e2t mai drepte.<br \/>\nH\u0103\u0103, r\u0103m\u00e2ne v\u00e2nz\u0103toarea blocat\u0103, cu m\u00e2na pe ciorchinele de banane. Eu o privesc complice peste um\u0103rul clientei \u015fi \u00eenghit prima r\u0103bufnire de r\u00e2s.<br \/>\n-Astea-s bune? alege ea dou\u0103 mai din interiorul ciorchinelui. <\/p>\n<p>C\u0103, se \u015ftie, alea din mijloc at\u00e2rn\u0103 \u00een jos, alea de la margine se muleaz\u0103 dup\u0103 alea din mijloc. <\/p>\n<p><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" alt=\"\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/fwp.s3host.co.uk\/images\/4\/medium\/4-AAAA-MECK58-PEH3QC-J3JP8Q-D5DJBN-6PKFHL-G6GAEQ.jpg?resize=400%2C600\" class=\"alignnone\" width=\"400\" height=\"600\" \/><\/p>\n<p>Aia, u\u015for isteric\u0103:<br \/>\n-Nu \u015ftiu, bananele din ziua de azi sunt at\u00e2t de \u00eencovoiate. <\/p>\n<p>Trag aer ad\u00e2nc \u00een piept \u015fi enum\u0103r to\u0163i \u0163eparii recen\u0163i, s\u0103-mi treac\u0103 pofta de r\u00e2s exploziv. <\/p>\n<p>\u00cen fine, g\u0103se\u015fte dou\u0103 satisf\u0103c\u0103toare \u015fi pleac\u0103 relativ mul\u0163umit\u0103. <\/p>\n<p><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" alt=\"\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/images.sodahead.com\/polls\/001165931\/straight_banana_780777_xlarge.jpeg?resize=350%2C233\" class=\"alignnone\" width=\"350\" height=\"233\" \/><\/p>\n<p>De cum iese, v\u00e2nz\u0103toarea \u015fi cu mine chicotim pu\u0163in, apoi eu:<br \/>\n-Na, eu o \u00een\u0163eleg. A\u015fa aleg \u015fi eu morcovii. Drep\u0163i \u015fi f\u0103r\u0103 noduri. Pe \u0103la nu l-a\u015f cump\u0103ra niciodat\u0103. <\/p>\n<p><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" alt=\"\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/i88.photobucket.com\/albums\/k162\/CatChew\/CarrotMonster.jpg?resize=375%2C250\" class=\"alignnone\" width=\"375\" height=\"250\" \/><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Azi, la chio\u015fc. Scosesem deja banii, c\u00e2nd, clienta din fa\u0163a mea cere: -Da\u0163i-mi, v\u0103 rog, dou\u0103 banane, dar s\u0103 fie c\u00e2t mai drepte. H\u0103\u0103,&#46;&#46;&#46;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-5258","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-spicy"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5258","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=5258"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5258\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=5258"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=5258"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=5258"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}