A ap\u0103rut num\u0103rul din noiembrie al revistei “Maxim”, unde pute\u0163i citi o mul\u0163ime de chestii excelente, \u015fi unde g\u0103si\u0163i \u015fi textul meu “Dragoste la prima erec\u0163ie”.<\/p>\n
\u00cen rest… da\u0163i-mi voie s\u0103 v\u0103 ofer un mic \u00eendreptar al anun\u0163urilor imobiliare, traduse pe \u00een\u0163elesul tuturor:<\/p>\n
a) “la Unirii” -ajungi la Unirii, mai str\u0103ba\u0163i trei str\u0103du\u0163e f\u0103r\u0103 logic\u0103, \u015fi \u00eenc\u0103 dou\u0103 sta\u0163ii de autobuz, \u015fi eventual ajungi<\/p>\n
b) “central” – descoperi c\u0103 centrul Bucure\u015ftiului e infinit, ca \u015fi iubirea<\/p>\n
c) nu e men\u0163ionat\u0103 zona – BEWARE!<\/p>\n
d) nu e men\u0163ionat pre\u0163ul – e dublu fa\u0163\u0103 de pre\u0163ul zonei.<\/p>\n
e) “camer\u0103 la curte cu intrare separat\u0103” – descoperi c\u0103 e \u00een mijlocul casei oamenilor, cu am\u0103nuntul c\u0103 intri \u00een ea direct din hol.<\/p>\n
f) sume exorbitante ca garan\u0163ie. dar pentru ce \u00eemi lua\u0163i banii \u0103\u015ftia? \u00eentrebi tu. \u0163i se r\u0103spunde: vrem s\u0103 recuper\u0103m investi\u0163ia \u00een publicitate!
\n(propun ca \u015fi primola, c\u00e2nd \u00ee\u0163i vinde ciocolata, s\u0103 \u00ee\u0163i re\u0163in\u0103 \u00eenc\u0103 2.5 lei garan\u0163ie, c\u0103 \u015fi ei \u00ee\u015fi fac publicitate, ce naiba!)<\/p>\n
g) dac\u0103 \u00eentrebi de am\u0103nunte de bun sim\u0163, cum ar fi ma\u015fin\u0103 de sp\u0103lat, \u0163i se r\u0103spunde: dar ce, pe vremea lui ceau\u015fescu aveai ma\u015fin\u0103 de sp\u0103lat? \u00eentrebarea ta: dar ce, pe vremea lui ceau\u015fescu mi-a\u0163i fi pretins 350 de euro pe lun\u0103? (plus garan\u0163ie!)
\n\ud83d\ude00<\/p>\n
h) cel mai tare r\u0103spuns c\u00e2nd remarci inconvenientele ofertei: “Nenic\u0103, nu-\u0163i convine, nu \u00eenchiria!”<\/p>\n
i) “Nu v\u0103 pot spune unde e casa, v\u0103 spun doar c\u00e2nd sunte\u0163i gata de pornire.”<\/p>\n
j) “sunte\u0163i student\u0103?” “nu.” “\u00eemi pare r\u0103u, nu \u00eenchiriez dec\u00e2t pentru studen\u0163i”. WTFFF?<\/p>\n
greu, frate, cu imobiliarele astea… <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
A ap\u0103rut num\u0103rul din noiembrie al revistei “Maxim”, unde pute\u0163i citi o mul\u0163ime de chestii excelente, \u015fi unde g\u0103si\u0163i \u015fi textul meu “Dragoste la...<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-558","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-spicy"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/558","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=558"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/558\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=558"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=558"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=558"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}