![](\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/us.i1.yimg.com\/us.yimg.com\/i\/mesg\/emoticons7\/4.gif?w=700\")
). Hai, c\u0103 nu-mi mai fac adi\u0163ionale cu tine la telefon, vine fata \u00eentr-o or\u0103, o pl\u0103te\u015fti, o fu\u0163i \u015fi ne socotim m\u00e2ine.<\/p>\n(\u0163i-am promis c\u0103 voi scrie despre asta, da??)<\/p>\n
Pentru Metafizicu, termenul “curv\u0103” avea o \u00eenc\u0103rc\u0103tur\u0103 magic\u0103. O “curv\u0103” e o femeie frumoas\u0103,\u00a0care \u015ftie cu adev\u0103rat s\u0103 fut\u0103, o femeie care nu spune niciodat\u0103 “asta nu!”, o femeie pe care n-o doare capul, nu se pl\u00e2nge c\u0103 e luat\u0103 de obiect sexual, o femeie cu \u0163\u00e2\u0163e mari pe care \u0163i le freac\u0103 relaxat\u0103 de fa\u0163\u0103 \u015fi \u0163i le bag\u0103 \u00een gur\u0103, \u015fi \u00ee\u0163i scoate ochii cu sf\u00e2rcurile, o femeie care \u00ee\u015fi poart\u0103 pizda ca pe cea mai splendid\u0103 bijuterie-unicat.<\/p>\n
Cam asta \u00eensemna cuv\u00e2ntul magic “curv\u0103” \u00een mintea lui “Metafizicu” – zis \u015fi Matefizicu de prieteni.<\/p>\n
Eh, Metafizicu \u0103sta avea o obsesie. Visa s\u0103 fac\u0103 sex cu m\u0103sline. Nu verzi, neap\u0103rat negre. Dar neap\u0103rat f\u0103r\u0103 s\u00e2mburi. T\u0103iate rondele dac\u0103 se poate. Metafizicu visa s\u0103 \u00eentind\u0103 femeia pe pat, s\u0103 ia un bol de m\u0103sline – neap\u0103rat negre, neap\u0103rat f\u0103r\u0103 s\u00e2mburi, neap\u0103rat rondele – \u015fi s\u0103 le toarne pe tot trupul \u00eentins \u015fi destins al femeii cu pricina. Voia s\u0103 le culeag\u0103, \u00eenfig\u00e2ndu-\u015fi limba \u00een rondel, ca \u00eentr-un inel. Vorba c\u00e2ntecului: “\u0162i-am luat un rondeeeeel… mare c\u00e2t inima meaaaaa”.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
De ziua lui, Metafizicu a primit un telefon de la Sul\u0103-n-Coaste – \u015feful lui mi\u015ftocar, care e \u00eenc\u0103 \u015fef, \u00eenc\u0103 mi\u015ftocar, \u015fi la aceea\u015fi dughean\u0103 – \u00een timp ce Metafizicu’ a ajuns depaaaarte, are diplome de h\u00e2rtie cartonat\u0103 \u015fi \u015ftie bancuri engleze\u015fti -dar pe atunci nu avea, nu \u015ftia \u015fi era \u00een subordinea lui Sul\u0103-n-Coaste.<\/p>\n
-Bueeey, Metafizicule, la mul\u0163i ani \u015fi la mult\u0103…<\/p>\n
Drept r\u0103spuns, Metafizicu oft\u0103 a pustiu, cu ochii-n zare (\u015fi \u00een soare).<\/p>\n
-Uite, \u00ee\u0163i trimit de ziua ta o curv\u0103. O s\u0103 te coste un milion, da’ las’ c\u0103-\u0163i dau io banii m\u00e2ine.<\/p>\n
\u00cen prima clip\u0103, Matefizicu a crezut c\u0103 nu aude bine. O curv\u0103, la el acas\u0103? O femeie adev\u0103rat\u0103, cu buze rujate \u015fi ciorapi plas\u0103, \u015fi cu chilo\u0163i a\u0163\u0103-n cur?? Uaaau.<\/p>\n
Apoi, s-a temut c\u0103 Sul\u0103-n-Coaste face caterinc\u0103 de via\u0163a lui.<\/p>\n
-Hai, m\u0103…<\/p>\n
-Ce, nu-\u0163i convine? Anulez?<\/p>\n
Cum s\u0103 anuleze??? Metafizicu fu cuprins de panic\u0103.<\/p>\n
-P\u0103i, \u015fefu’, a\u015fa cadouri faci tu? \u0162i le iei \u00eenapoi dup\u0103 ce le faci?<\/p>\n
-Hai, m\u0103, b\u0103iatule, \u015ftiam io c\u0103 o s\u0103 te bucuri, \u00eencepu Sul\u0103-n-Coaste s\u0103 r\u00e2d\u0103 becalic (sau rhett-butleric, de vreme ce \u015ftim cu to\u0163ii c\u0103 becali seam\u0103n\u0103 cu rhett butler \u0103la must\u0103cios din aripile vinului. ). Hai, c\u0103 nu-mi mai fac adi\u0163ionale cu tine la telefon, vine fata \u00eentr-o or\u0103, o pl\u0103te\u015fti, o fu\u0163i \u015fi ne socotim m\u00e2ine.<\/p>\n
S\u0103 vezi vitez\u0103 de Speedy Gonzales pe bietu Metafizic, cum d\u0103du el val-v\u00e2rtej n\u0103val\u0103 p\u00e2n\u0103 jos la minimarket, la tanti Lili, s\u0103 ia o pung\u0103 mare de m\u0103sline – neap\u0103rat negre, neap\u0103rat f\u0103r\u0103 s\u00e2mburi – n-avem f\u0103r\u0103 s\u00e2mburi, \u015fi nici rondele? nici.) Apoi, s\u0103-l vezi cu kilogramu’ de m\u0103sline \u00een poal\u0103, cur\u0103\u0163\u00e2ndu-le r\u0103bd\u0103tor de s\u00e2mburi \u015fi t\u0103indu-le rondele, fain-frumos, \u00eencerc\u00e2nd c\u00e2teva din ele cu v\u00e2rful limbii \u0163i-am luat un rondeee-heeee-heeeel \/ Mare c\u00e2t inima meaaaaa…<\/p>\n
I-a mai r\u0103mas timp c\u00e2t s\u0103 adune ciorapii de pe tot \u00eentinsul covorului, s\u0103-i arunce strategic sub pat, s\u0103 fac\u0103 un du\u015f cu viteza luminii \u015fi s\u0103 \u00ee\u015fi verse tot after shave-ul pe propria f\u0103ptur\u0103, de vreme ce parfumul i se terminase chiar ieri, \u015fi uitase s\u0103 cumpere – bun. Pe mas\u0103 era bolul cu rondele. Metafizicu, \u00een \u0163oalele bune, alea de Mall. Lumin\u0103 discret\u0103 de la lampa pe care tr\u0103sese un abajur – ambalajul de la cozonacul italienesc “Panna e Ciocolate”. Nu mai lipsea dec\u00e2t curva!<\/p>\n
\u015ei s-a pus Metafizicu pe a\u015fteptat. \u015ei d\u0103-i \u015fi a\u015fteapt\u0103. \u015ei d\u0103-i. \u015ei a\u015fteapt\u0103. \u015ei nimic. \u00centr-un t\u00e2rziu, a dat drumul la teveu \u015fi s-a uitat absent la un pornache cu un chinez am\u0103r\u0103\u015ftean care le-o tr\u0103gea la trei blonde \u00eenfocate, \u00een timp ce el st\u0103tea cu bolul de rondele, mestec\u00e2nd a jale. \u0162i-am luat un rondee-heeee-heeeeeel…<\/p>\n
A doua zi la munc\u0103, Sul\u0103-n-Coaste:<\/p>\n
-B\u0103, s\u0103 nu te superi, da’ m-am r\u0103zg\u00e2ndit \u015fi i-am dat gagicii adresa mea… H\u0103-h\u0103-h\u0103.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
(\u0163i-am promis c\u0103 voi scrie despre asta, da??) Pentru Metafizicu, termenul “curv\u0103” avea o \u00eenc\u0103rc\u0103tur\u0103 magic\u0103. O “curv\u0103” e o femeie frumoas\u0103,\u00a0care \u015ftie cu...<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":20466,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[238],"class_list":["post-58","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-spicy","tag-masline"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2008\/01\/martini.jpg?fit=640%2C480&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/58","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=58"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/58\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":20468,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/58\/revisions\/20468"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/20466"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=58"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=58"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=58"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}