Cer\u015fetorii. De c\u00e2te ori v\u0103d un cer\u015fetor (mai ales dac\u0103 e un fl\u0103c\u0103u voinic \u015fi lat \u00een spete) m\u0103 cuprinde un sentiment de inechitate social\u0103. Adic\u0103: am\u00e2ndoi am primit \u00een dotare, pe inventar, un creier, dou\u0103 m\u00e2ini, dou\u0103 picioare etc. Creier pe care eu mi-l fut muncind, iar el \u015fi-l odihne\u015fte c\u00e2t e ziua de lung\u0103. \u015ei odihnitul \u0103sta bine-mersi \u00ee\u015fi permite s\u0103-mi cear\u0103 mie poman\u0103! Al\u0163ii \u00eel refuz\u0103 evit\u00e2ndu-i privirea ru\u015fina\u0163i: “N-am”. De ce aceast\u0103 eschiv\u0103, domnilor? Eu le sur\u00e2d senin \u00een fa\u0163\u0103 \u015fi le spun: “N-am chef s\u0103-\u0163i dau!” Bine\u00een\u0163eles, se las\u0103 cu \u00eenjur\u0103turi. Cu blesteme. Cu luarea mor\u0163ilor \u00een peninsul\u0103. Nu \u00een\u0163eleg un singur lucru: \u0103\u015ftia au impresia c\u0103 \u00eenjur\u0103turile au efect de catalizare a d\u0103rniciei umane?<\/p>\n
\u00cen via\u0163a mea, trebuie s\u0103 recunosc, n-am dat poman\u0103 dec\u00e2t cu dou\u0103 ocazii:<\/p>\n
1) un muzicant b\u0103tr\u00e2n de pe la universitate, care c\u00e2nta deosebit de frumos tema muzical\u0103 din “The Godfather”, \u00eentr-o sear\u0103 cu lun\u0103 plin\u0103<\/p>\n
2)o b\u0103tr\u00e2nic\u0103 de pe sc\u0103rile de la Sta\u0163ia de Metrou Izvor. A \u00eenceput:<\/p>\n
-Hai, ajut\u0103-m\u0103 \u015fi pe mine…<\/p>\n
\u00cen fa\u0163a unei b\u0103tr\u00e2nici mititele, nu po\u0163i persista \u00een refuzuri nesim\u0163ite, a\u015fa c\u0103 i-am spus simplu:<\/p>\n
-Nu pot.<\/p>\n
Iar b\u0103tr\u00e2nica resemnat\u0103 \u015fi blajin\u0103:<\/p>\n
-Las\u0103 maic\u0103, dac\u0103 nu po\u0163i asta e, ai \u015fi tu grijile tale.<\/p>\n
Faza asta m-a spart. Automat, am dus m\u00e2na la buzunar.<\/p>\n
3) Odat\u0103, mi s-a \u00eent\u00e2mplat o minune. Amica mea de atunci era o mega bisericoas\u0103. Iar eu, deschis\u0103 c\u0103tre tot ce e nou. Why not?<\/p>\n
Veniser\u0103 la Mitropolie Preasfintele Moa\u015fte ale Sf\u00e2ntului Whatever. Recunosc, dac\u0103 lipsa de p\u0103sare ar fi durut, eu a\u015f fi urlat. Dar fata \u015ftia c\u0103, dac\u0103 atingi preasfintele ciosv\u00e2rte, \u0163i se \u00eent\u00e2mpl\u0103 exact noroacele pe care le ai la yahoo, dac\u0103 trimi\u0163i mass-ul la minim zece pretini.<\/p>\n
Buuuun! La Mitropolie era o coad\u0103, de parc\u0103 s-ar fi \u00eemp\u0103r\u0163it genunchi de \u015farpe gratis. Cum am emis prima poant\u0103 idioat\u0103, de trecere a timpului, o bab\u0103 cu batic negru s-a zbor\u015fit la mine:<\/p>\n
-Duduie, e\u015fti \u00een Casa Domnului! (Doooaaamneeee, c\u00e2t m\u0103 enerveaz\u0103 apelativul “Duduie!!” \u00cemi vine s\u0103 dudui de nervi c\u00e2nd \u00eel aud!)<\/p>\n
Buuun, taci \u015fi stai. \u015ei taci. \u015ei stai. \u015ei taci. \u015ei…<\/p>\n
-B\u0103i, mie mi-e sil\u0103 de Sfintele Ciolane ale ori\u015ficui, dau o rait\u0103 p\u00e2n\u0103 te ciozv\u00e2r\u0163i tu.<\/p>\n
\u00cenaintea mitropoliei, t\u00e2rgu\u015for de Sf\u00e2ntu’ respectiv. Iconi\u0163e, lum\u00e2n\u0103rele, ap\u0103 sfin\u0163it\u0103, obiecte artizanale etc, dar branduite. \u015eti\u0163i cum e \u00een Mall. “Ina Center”. “Kenvelo”. “Irina Schrotter”. “Sephora”.<\/p>\n
Aici era “M\u0103n\u0103stirea de la Cucuie\u0163ii de Deal”. “M\u0103n\u0103stirea de la Cucuie\u0163ii de Vale”. “M\u0103n\u0103stirea de la Cucuie\u0163ii Intermediari” \u015f. a. m. d.<\/p>\n
Culmea, la o mas\u0103, mi-a captat privirea o br\u0103\u0163ar\u0103 foarte frumos lucrat\u0103. Nu pt. mine, c\u0103 eu sparg rapid bijuteriile. Ci pentru vaca aia care st\u0103tea la coad\u0103 la Prealuminatele Moa\u015fte.<\/p>\n
M\u0103 caut \u00een buzunar. God! n-aveam portofelul la mine. Dar 1 RON \u00een st\u00e2ngu’, 1 RON \u00een dreptu’, 2 RONI la piept, m\u0103 apropiam. La final, \u00eemi lipseau exact 0,3 lei noi, sau 3000 lei vechi. Trei monezi de zece bani. Pur \u015fi simplu, nu-i aveam. Exact atunci, se apropie de mine o \u0163iganc\u0103 b\u0103tr\u00e2n\u0103:<\/p>\n
-Hajut\u0103 \u015fi tu baba cu cevaaa, tr\u0103i-\u0163i-ar famelia.<\/p>\n
-Ia las\u0103-m\u0103, femeie \u00een pace, bomb\u0103n eu, c\u0103 uite, vreau \u015fi io br\u0103\u0163ara aia \u015fi n-am destui bani!<\/p>\n
Tace \u0163iganca, se uit\u0103 lung la mine.<\/p>\n
-C\u00e2t \u00ee\u0163i trebe, maic\u0103?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Cer\u015fetorii. De c\u00e2te ori v\u0103d un cer\u015fetor (mai ales dac\u0103 e un fl\u0103c\u0103u voinic \u015fi lat \u00een spete) m\u0103 cuprinde un sentiment de inechitate...<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-61","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-spicy"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/61","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=61"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/61\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":10397,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/61\/revisions\/10397"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=61"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=61"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=61"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}