Zilele astea, indiferent cu cine stau de vorb\u0103, m\u0103 \u00eentreab\u0103 mai devreme sau mai t\u00e2rziu: Tu te duci la Muzeul Antipa s\u0103 vezi expozi\u0163ia de cadavre?<\/p>\n
Iar replica mea e una singur\u0103. E de patru litere, \u00eencepe cu “m” \u015fi se termin\u0103 cu “e”. I mean, seriously. C\u00e2t de animal s\u0103 fii, s\u0103 te duci s\u0103 admiri ciolane de oameni mor\u0163i? Oase pe care s-a aflat carne moart\u0103, sc\u00e2rboas\u0103, verde-vine\u0163ie? C’mooon. C\u00e2t de hipster cretin, b\u0103\u015fit \u015fi f\u0103r\u0103 personalitate s\u0103 fii, s\u0103 ai nevoie s\u0103 pari interesant fa\u0163\u0103 de al\u0163ii duc\u00e2ndu-te s\u0103 vezi… le\u015furi? Really? Eu am evitat toate \u00eenmorm\u00e2nt\u0103rile unor oameni apropia\u0163i, sub toate pretextele posibile, \u015fi tu m\u0103 pui s\u0103 merg benevol s\u0103 v\u0103d st\u00e2rvuri de necunoscu\u0163i? Ce ar trebui s\u0103 isp\u0103\u015fesc, s\u0103 fac asta?\u00a0<\/p>\n
Ur\u0103sc hoiturile din str\u0103fundul inimii mele. Ur\u0103sc ideea de descompunere \u015fi ideea c\u0103, pe undeva, fiecare dintre noi este un amestec eterogen de \u00a0substan\u0163e dezgust\u0103toare. Nu doar c\u0103 n-a\u015f pl\u0103ti s\u0103 v\u0103d le\u015furi, dar nu m-a\u015f duce nici dac\u0103 m-ar pl\u0103ti ei pe mine. Nici dac\u0103 mi-ar comanda advertorial.\u00a0<\/p>\n
Mul\u0163umesc, cotizez la stat pentru s\u0103n\u0103tate, pentru salariile unor oameni pe care-i intereseaz\u0103 ce e dincolo de epiderm\u0103. \u0102ia n-au dec\u00e2t s\u0103 se duc\u0103 s\u0103 vad\u0103 expo de mort\u0103ciuni. S\u0103 afle cum e omul pe interior, \u015fi s\u0103 m\u0103 trateze c\u00e2nd m\u0103 \u00eemboln\u0103vesc. Eu nu vreau chestia asta. Carnea putred\u0103 \u015fi osul sunt cele mai dezgust\u0103toare lucruri din univers.\u00a0<\/p>\n
Dar cele mai cretine bancuri pe tema asta sunt tot la mine-n redac\u0163ie:\u00a0<\/p>\n
“B\u0103i, io c\u00e2nd o s\u0103 mor o s\u0103-mi donez corpul \u0103stora cu expozi\u0163ia. S\u0103 fiu admirat de mul\u0163ime m\u0103car dup\u0103 ce cr\u0103p.”\u00a0<\/p>\n
“\u015eOC! AFL\u0102 cine e primul ROM\u00c2N care vrea s\u0103 participe la HUMAN BODY. Cite\u015fte AICI declara\u0163ia MUMIEI!”\u00a0<\/p>\n
Eu, dac\u0103 mor, vreau un singur lucru. Incinerarea. S\u0103 nu r\u0103m\u00e2n\u0103 hoit dup\u0103 mine. S\u0103 nu se descompun\u0103 \u015fi s\u0103 nu se transforme \u00een moa\u015fte. Nu de alta, dar dac\u0103 m\u0103 uit la criteriile rom\u00e2ne\u015fti de sanctificare, risca\u0163i ca urma\u015fii vo\u015ftri s\u0103 stea la coad\u0103 s\u0103 m\u0103 pupe, \u00een c\u00e2teva secole.\u00a0<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Zilele astea, indiferent cu cine stau de vorb\u0103, m\u0103 \u00eentreab\u0103 mai devreme sau mai t\u00e2rziu: Tu te duci la Muzeul Antipa s\u0103 vezi expozi\u0163ia...<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-6384","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-spicy"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6384","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=6384"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6384\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=6384"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=6384"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=6384"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}