{"id":6409,"date":"2013-03-19T14:25:45","date_gmt":"2013-03-19T14:25:45","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/lorenalupu.wordpress.com\/?p=6409"},"modified":"2013-03-19T14:25:45","modified_gmt":"2013-03-19T14:25:45","slug":"dona-juana-fragmentul-meu-preferat","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/dona-juana-fragmentul-meu-preferat\/","title":{"rendered":"Dona Juana – fragmentul meu preferat"},"content":{"rendered":"

\u201eDona Juana,
\n\u015etiam c\u0103 \u00een c\u00e2teva zile \u00ee\u0163i va trece dorin\u0163a de a coresponda cu mine \u015fi va \u00eenvinge curiozitatea. De aceea am \u015fi riscat aceast\u0103 nou\u0103 \u00eencercare de a-\u0163i m\u0103rturisi… emo\u0163iile? senza\u0163iile? acel nu-\u015ftiu-exact-ce pe care mi-l inspiri…\u201d <\/em>
\n\u2014Care este primul, numele sau prenumele?
\n\u2014Numele de familie, apoi prenumele, spune doamna Deea. Ieri m-a ajutat \u015fi pe mine fiic\u0103-mea s\u0103 \u00eemi fac un ceveu din \u0103sta.
\n\u2014Apoi data \u015fi locul na\u015fterii, completez eu.
\n\u2014Bine, dar dac\u0103 prenumele meu este Confort, crezi c\u0103 or s\u0103-mi priveasc\u0103 \u0103ia CV-ul cu ochi buni?
\n\u2014P\u0103i nu te cheam\u0103 Anton?
\n\u2014Anton e numele meu de familie. Mi-a fost \u00eentotdeauna ru\u015fine c\u0103 m\u0103 cheam\u0103 Confort.
\n\u2014\u015ei nu ai profitat \u015fi tu de bani s\u0103 \u00ee\u0163i schimbi numele?
\n\u2014P\u0103i mi-au zis c\u0103 nu se poate, c\u0103 nu e un nume cu obscenit\u0103\u0163i, sau a\u015fa ceva. Iar aia de la ghi\u015feu mi-a zis c\u0103 e un nume foarte frumos, Confort. <\/p>\n

\u201eS\u0103pt\u0103m\u00e2na trecut\u0103 \u00ee\u0163i povestisem c\u00e2t de mult mi-a\u015f dori s\u0103 fiu un eunuc, iar tu, cad\u00e2na mea adorat\u0103 \u00een secret. S\u0103 te iubesc cu \/ prin m\u0103t\u0103surile care-\u0163i feresc frumuse\u0163ea fraged\u0103, m\u0103sliniu-aurie, de priviri invadatoare, devoratoare, violatoare. Pentru c\u0103 to\u0163i b\u0103rba\u0163ii te doresc cu japca \u015fi to\u0163i vor s\u0103 te sf\u00e2\u015fie.
\n\u015etiai c\u0103 eunucii au de fapt erec\u0163ie, dar nu pot ejacula? A\u015fa e \u015fi dragostea mea pentru tine, o interminabil\u0103 erec\u0163ie.\u201d <\/em>]
\n\u2014Ce s\u0103 trec la studii? E o idee bun\u0103 s\u0103 spun c\u0103 nu am dec\u00e2t zece clase?
\n\u2014Dac\u0103 nu ai dec\u00e2t zece clase, e o idee bun\u0103. Ideea proast\u0103 a fost s\u0103 nu-\u0163i continui studiile. Uite, c\u00e2t timp ai fost pe aici, nu te-ai g\u00e2ndit \u015fi tu s\u0103 faci un seral \u00een paralel? \u00eel ia doamna Deea la mu\u015ftruluial\u0103.
\n\u2014Haide\u0163i, doamn\u0103, l\u0103sa\u0163i-o! De unde era s\u0103 \u015ftiu c\u0103 se termin\u0103 a\u015fa, brusc? se enerveaz\u0103 Anton Confort. \u015ei nici m\u0103car nu \u00eemi pare r\u0103u c\u0103 se termin\u0103. M-am s\u0103turat s\u0103 o fac pe proasta. \u015ei s\u0103 m\u0103 mai \u015fi sune Alfonsinho de c\u00e2te ori era spart pulbere \u015fi avea chef s\u0103 \u00eenjure pe cineva, de obicei noaptea \u00eentre 2 \u015fi 4. \u00cen sf\u00e2r\u015fit, o s\u0103 fiu liber! \u00cencep cu liceul sau cu gr\u0103dini\u0163a?
\n\u2014Ai f\u0103cut tu gr\u0103dini\u0163\u0103? bag\u0103 George capul pe u\u015f\u0103.
\n\u2014Am f\u0103cut, m\u00e2nca-\u0163i-a\u015f. La casa de copii. M-am dus de unul singur la casa de copii, c\u0103 mi-a zis un prieten c\u0103, acolo, \u0103ia au foarte multe juc\u0103rii. \u015ei ce-am zis io pe la cinci ani: ia stai a\u015fa, fr\u0103\u0163ioare, c\u0103 fur eu juc\u0103riile alea \u015fi le v\u00e2nd, iar din banii de pe ele \u00eemi iau \u0163ig\u0103ri, s\u0103 m\u0103 dau \u015fmecher.
\n\u2014Liceul se pune primul, intervine doamna Deea. \u00cen ordinea invers\u0103. <\/p>\n

\u201eS\u0103 nu ne \u00eentoarcem, draga mea, \u00een timp, spre o fantezie pe care ai respins-o. S\u0103 o l\u0103s\u0103m s\u0103 dispar\u0103 a\u015fa, de nimeni \u015ftiut\u0103. Poate era prea real\u0103, poate sem\u0103na prea mult cu ceea ce sunt eu \u015fi ceea ce e\u015fti tu.
\nA\u015f fi vrut s\u0103 \u00ee\u0163i fiu profesor de matematic\u0103…\u201d<\/em>
\n\u2014Experien\u0163a profesional\u0103. Ce dracu\u2019 s\u0103 scriu aici, c\u0103 nu prea am chestii cu care s\u0103 m\u0103 laud.
\n\u2014P\u0103i zici \u015fi tu c\u0103 ai lucrat \u00een construc\u0163ii, \u00een Spania, \u00ee\u015fi d\u0103 doamna Deea cu p\u0103rerea. Nu se duce nimeni s\u0103 \u00eei \u00eentrebe, nu?
\n\u2014Am eu fa\u0163\u0103 \u015fi corp de om cu care lucreze \u00een construc\u0163ii? se burzuluie\u015fte Anton.
\n\u2014P\u0103i \u015fi ce gen de job o s\u0103 \u00ee\u0163i cau\u0163i?
\n\u2014Osp\u0103t\u0103ri\u0163\u0103\u2026 cred.
\n\u201c\u2026iar tu s\u0103 fii eleva rebel\u0103 a clasei, prima care e prins\u0103 fum\u00e2nd iarb\u0103 la toalet\u0103, fata cu fusta cea mai scurt\u0103 \u015fi cu s\u00e2nii cei mai impertinen\u0163i. M-a\u015f sim\u0163i st\u00e2njenit s\u0103 te privesc, pentru c\u0103 ai reprezenta co\u015fmarul oric\u0103rui profesor integru, copilul sfidare, copilul refuz. Te-a\u015f ur\u00ee cu dorin\u0163\u0103, te-a\u015f umili zi de zi \u00een fa\u0163a clasei, te-a\u015f l\u0103sa corigent\u0103 \u00een fiecare an \u015fi a\u015f a\u015ftepta tremur\u00e2nd ziua de var\u0103 \u00een care ai veni s\u0103-\u0163i dai examenul. Tu mi-ai r\u0103spunde \u00een doi peri, mereu obraznic\u0103, mereu sfid\u0103toare, iar eu \u0163i-a\u015f da un cinci, \u00eencr\u00e2ncenat, pentru c\u0103 mi-ar fi groaz\u0103 de g\u00e2ndul c\u0103 te-a\u015f putea pierde.\u201d <\/em><\/p>\n

\u2014Am eu ni\u015fte prieteni patroni de bar c\u0103rora o s\u0103 le plac\u0103 ideea, m\u0103 pomenesc eu spun\u00e2ndu-i lui Anton. Sau lui Confort. \u00cenc\u0103 nu m\u0103 pot obi\u015fnui cu ideea c\u0103 \u00eel cheam\u0103 \u015fi a\u015fa. Ce chestii po\u0163i s\u0103 afli despre oameni, taman c\u00e2nd credeai c\u0103 ai ajuns s\u0103-i cuno\u015fti!
\n\u2014Dac\u0103 zice\u0163i\u2026 zici de Joey, nu te mai obosi. L-am c\u0103utat \u015fi \u015fi-a b\u0103tut pula de mine. Mi-a zis c\u0103, \u00een momentul \u0103sta, are cine s\u0103-i spele vasele, deci nu are nevoie de mine.
\n\u2014Ce coinciden\u0163\u0103, \u015fi mie mi-a zis tot ceva de genul \u0103sta. O bomboan\u0103 de om, nu altceva. Dar nu m\u0103 g\u00e2ndeam la Joey acum. Sunt destui patroni de bar din ora\u015f care mi-s prieteni la cataram\u0103 \u015fi mul\u0163i dintre ei ar fi \u00eenc\u00e2nta\u0163i s\u0103 aib\u0103 un om ca tine.
\n\u2014\u015ei crede\u0163i\u2026 crezi c\u0103\u2026 ar merge s\u0103 g\u0103sesc \u015fi eu ceva de lucru a\u015fa? se emo\u0163ioneaz\u0103 Anton, ca un copil \u00een fa\u0163a unui brad de Cr\u0103ciun.
\n\u2014Exact asta m\u0103 str\u0103duiam s\u0103-\u0163i povestesc.
\n\u2014Dac\u0103 \u00eemi faci vreo lipeal\u0103 promit s\u0103 dau \u015fi la seral, spune Anton pe tonul supremei d\u0103ruiri de sine.
\n\u2014Hai, nu fi penibil. Dac\u0103 te duci la seral, o faci pentru tine, nu pentru mine. <\/p>\n

\u201eAr fi finele clasei a opta; ar fi ultima corigen\u0163\u0103, ultima mea ocazie de a te vedea, de a-\u0163i vorbi. \u015etii deja ce se va \u00eent\u00e2mpla, nu-i a\u015fa, micu\u0163\u0103 pervers\u0103?\u201d <\/em>
\n\u2014Atunci, ce rost mai are?
\n\u2014Ce rost mai are s\u0103 ce?
\n\u2014C\u0103cat. S\u0103 \u00eemi fac CV.
\n\u2014Tu f\u0103-l, s\u0103 fie f\u0103cut. Poate c\u0103, totu\u015fi, tipii \u0103\u015ftia ne vor refuza \u2013 nu stric\u0103 s\u0103 ai un CV, pentru orice eventualitate. \u00cen zilele noastre de glorie, nici n-a\u015f fi visat c\u0103 e at\u00e2t de cumplit de greu s\u0103 g\u0103se\u015fti pe cineva care s\u0103 preia acest bar.
\n\u201eTe-a\u015f dori toat\u0103 noaptea de dinainte, a\u015f avea interminabile vise erotice cu tine. Mi-a\u015f l\u0103sa cafeaua de diminea\u0163\u0103 s\u0103 dea \u00een foc, a\u015f bea un expresso rapid la b\u0103rule\u0163ul din col\u0163ul \u015fcolii \u015fi l-a\u015f v\u0103rsa \u015fi pe \u0103la \u00een poal\u0103. \u00cen cele din urm\u0103, c\u00e2nd ne-am \u00eent\u00e2lni, a\u015f fi stors de energie, ca o c\u00e2rp\u0103 bleag\u0103, incapabil s\u0103-\u0163i adresez o vorb\u0103. M-a\u015f r\u0103sti la tine cu o voce spart\u0103, neconving\u0103toare; tu m-ai m\u0103sura de sus p\u00e2n\u0103 jos cu o privire de lolit\u0103 r\u0103ut\u0103cioas\u0103 \u015fi ai izbuni \u00een r\u00e2s. Apoi m-ai \u00eempinge \u00een perete, mi-ai desface fermoarul pantalonilor \u015fi…”<\/em>
\n\t\u2014Auzi, s\u0103 trec \u015fi \u00een\u0103l\u0163imea \u015fi greutatea?
\n\t\u2014Poftim!?
\n\t\u2014\u00cen CV se pun \u015fi chestii d-astea?
\n\t\u2014Depinde de situa\u0163ie. Stai pu\u0163in.
\n\t\u2014Nu, drag\u0103, nu treci de-astea, intervine doamna Deea. Nici fii-mea nu mi-a trecut mie \u00een\u0103l\u0163imea \u015fi greutatea. Astea nu \u00ees\u2026 elocvente. <\/p>\n

\t\u201e…\u015fi mi-ai examina cu priviri de expert\u0103 penisul fierbinte. Apoi ai \u00eencepe s\u0103 r\u00e2zi cu acea r\u0103utate care te face de neuitat: Vaai, ce pu\u0163ulic\u0103 ridicol\u0103. Ce faci cu asta, regulezi scurgerea de la robinet?
\n\t\u00cen clipa \u00een care te-a\u015f auzi, m-a\u015f pleo\u015fti complet, m-a\u015f str\u00e2nge \u00een mine \u00eensumi ca un melc \u00een cochilie, m-a\u015f contracta ca un nod de nervi tensiona\u0163i. Tu ai \u00eencepe s\u0103 r\u00e2zi \u015fi mai tare: \u201eHaha, de aceea m-ai tot frecat la melodie cu t\u00e2mpenii inutile, de aceea te-ai tot r\u0103zbunat pe mine. Pentru c\u0103 ai fi vrut s\u0103 m\u0103 fu\u0163i, dar nu aveai cu ce. \u00ce\u0163i dai seama c\u00e2t e\u015fti de penibil?
\n\tDesigur, mi-ar exploda testiculele de dorin\u0163a de a te avea \u00een acea clip\u0103, \u00een acel loc. Dar r\u00e2sul t\u0103u batjocoritor, inhibant \u015fi excitant, m-ar strivi ca un ciocan.\u201d <\/em><\/p>\n

\t\u2014Dac\u0103 am fost curv\u0103 traseist\u0103 \u00een Spania \u015fi \u00een Italia, pot s\u0103 scriu aici c\u0103 am fost fotomodel liber profesionist?
\n\t\u2014Cu ce creatori de mod\u0103 ai colaborat?
\n\t\u2014Cu mai mul\u0163i dec\u00e2t ai crede.<\/p>\n

\t\u201e\u0162i-a\u015f da un cinci chinuit \u015fi meschin, \u00eentocmai ca tentativa de erec\u0163ie pe care ai spulberat-o f\u0103r\u0103 mil\u0103, apoi m-a\u015f duce acas\u0103 \u015fi m-a\u015f sp\u00e2nzura. A\u015f fi \u00eenc\u0103 un caz de sinucidere nemotivat\u0103 a unui cadru didactic model. Pentru c\u0103 nimeni nu \u00een\u0163elege presiunea erotic\u0103 pe care o poate exercita o adolescent\u0103 at\u00e2t de con\u015ftient\u0103 de propria-i prezen\u0163\u0103.\u201d <\/em><\/p>\n

\t\u2014La calit\u0103\u0163i, trec disponibilitatea pentru program prelungit?
\n\t\u2014Da, voi cu grijile voastre patetice, chicote\u015fte Vaca Somptuoas\u0103, care auzise accidental dialogul. De asta e bine s\u0103 fii vedet\u0103 interna\u0163ional\u0103 ca mine; fi\u0163ele unui figurant de doi bani ca Alfonsinho al vostru nu m\u0103 afecteaz\u0103. Curg ofertele val-v\u00e2rtej.
\n\t\u2014Ce oferte, splendoarea mea \u00een iarb\u0103? \u00eel \u00eentreb.
\n\t\u2014Mai multe. De exemplu, a\u015f putea deschide o \u015fcoal\u0103 particular\u0103, sau s\u0103 concep spectacole avangardiste. Am mailboxul plin de propuneri de la doritori. Art\u0103 adev\u0103rat\u0103, nu vulgarit\u0103\u0163i infantile, ca aici.
\n\t\u2014Dar nu ne dai \u015fi nou\u0103 ni\u015fte nume de doritori, z\u00e2no? Doar a\u015fa, ca s\u0103 nu avem impresia c\u0103 bravezi.
\n\t\u2014Nu de parc\u0103 a\u015f da eu vreo ceap\u0103 degerat\u0103 pe impresiile voastre de nulit\u0103\u0163i, mi-o reteaz\u0103 Vaca Somptuoas\u0103. Voiam doar s\u0103 v\u0103 spun s\u0103 nu mai conta\u0163i prea mult pe mine, c\u0103 eu sunt asigurat\u0103.
\n\t\u2014Serios? Ai \u015fi RCA? mai intervine George.
\n\t\u2014Glume stupide de oameni pro\u015fti, pufne\u015fte Vaca. Oricum v\u0103 ignor \u015fi m\u0103 deta\u015fez de voi, iar voi \u015fti\u0163i asta. \u015ei v\u0103 oftica\u0163i.
\n\t\u2014Evident. Ne mu\u015fc\u0103m pumnii \u00een pern\u0103, completez eu. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u201eDona Juana, \u015etiam c\u0103 \u00een c\u00e2teva zile \u00ee\u0163i va trece dorin\u0163a de a coresponda cu mine \u015fi va \u00eenvinge curiozitatea. De aceea am \u015fi...<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-6409","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-spicy"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6409","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=6409"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6409\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=6409"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=6409"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=6409"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}