Via\u0163a femeii moderne este \u00een ghearele destinului. O cumplit\u0103 suferin\u0163\u0103 ne p\u00e2nde\u015fte, necru\u0163\u0103toare, gata s\u0103 ne fac\u0103 s\u0103 mu\u015fc\u0103m din noi \u00een\u015fine \u015fi s\u0103 blestem\u0103m ziua \u00een care ne-am n\u0103scut.\u00a0<\/p>\n
Vorbesc, evident, despre epilat.\u00a0<\/p>\n
Dac\u0103 b\u0103rba\u0163ii ar fi folosit servicii de epilat, garantat ar fi existat anestezia, pentru c\u0103 b\u0103rba\u0163ii sunt fiin\u0163e ceva mai practice, care, dac\u0103 pot elimina durerea din via\u0163a lor, o elimin\u0103. De ce s\u0103 dai o c\u00e2rc\u0103 de bani dealerului pe heroin\u0103, o dat\u0103 pe lun\u0103, \u015fi s\u0103 te pui \u00een diverse pericole, c\u00e2nd po\u0163i, mult mai simplu, s\u0103 beneficiezi de anestezie local\u0103 care, pe l\u00e2ng\u0103 c\u0103 e legal\u0103 \u015fi \u015ftii sigur ce con\u0163ine fiola, e infinit mai ieftin\u0103?\u00a0<\/p>\n
—<\/p>\n
Dar femeia alege, din motive necunoscute omului, s\u0103 tac\u0103 \u015fi s\u0103 sufere. A\u015fa cum, milenii \u00een \u015fir, a mimat c\u0103-i place la crati\u0163\u0103, la m\u0103tur\u0103 \u015fi c\u0103 nu-i place dec\u00e2t penisul luat cu acte de \u00eentre\u0163in\u0103tor legal. Frate, ce rost are? Ce rost are s\u0103-\u0163i tr\u0103ie\u015fti via\u0163a mim\u00e2nd c\u0103 durerile acelea atroce ale smulsului de p\u0103r din fund nu exist\u0103? C\u00e2nd o simpl\u0103 injec\u0163ie, ca la dentist, ar face s\u0103 stai cr\u0103cit\u0103 bine mersi, citind Critica ra\u0163iunii pure, ba chiar urm\u0103rind \u015firul logic al ideilor din ea, \u00een timp ce cosmeticiana ta te sondeaz\u0103-n colon dup\u0103 un fir r\u0103zle\u0163.\u00a0<\/p>\n
Concluzia e una singur\u0103: fie deschide\u0163i \u00een pula mea un salon de epilat cu anestezie, fie \u00eemi fac eu unul. Chiar la Unirii, s\u0103 fie central. \u015ei-l branduiesc: La noi, nici capul nu te doare!\u00a0<\/p>\n
\u015ei va veni tot Bucure\u015ftiul s\u0103 se epileze la mine. Garantat. Pentru c\u0103, de\u015fi t\u0103ce\u0163i stoic, \u015fi pe voi v\u0103 doare. Numai c\u0103 voi ave\u0163i impresia c\u0103 v\u0103 ridic\u0103 cineva statuie dac\u0103 \u00eendura\u0163i pe mute\u015fte. Oilor.\u00a0<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Via\u0163a femeii moderne este \u00een ghearele destinului. O cumplit\u0103 suferin\u0163\u0103 ne p\u00e2nde\u015fte, necru\u0163\u0103toare, gata s\u0103 ne fac\u0103 s\u0103 mu\u015fc\u0103m din noi \u00een\u015fine \u015fi s\u0103...<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-6478","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-spicy"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6478","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=6478"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6478\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=6478"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=6478"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=6478"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}