Prima oar\u0103 c\u00e2nd m-am \u00eent\u00e2lnit cu argumentul “s\u0103racii lumii” a fost \u00een fraged\u0103 pruncie, c\u00e2nd nu-mi pl\u0103cea un fel de m\u00e2ncare \u015fi adultul din fa\u0163a mea insista s\u0103-l m\u0103n\u00e2nc.
\n-Uite, s\u0103racii lumii ar fi ferici\u0163i s\u0103…
\n-P\u0103i, d\u0103-l lor. De ce s\u0103-l dai cuiva nefericit s\u0103…, c\u00e2nd exist\u0103 at\u00e2\u0163ia ferici\u0163i.
\nJeap! palm\u0103. Pas\u0103mite, adul\u0163ii din vechime rezolvau u\u015for fracturile logicii prin palm\u0103. Eu izbucneam \u00een cele mai sinistre urlete \u015fi tot nu m\u00e2ncam ce nu voiam s\u0103 m\u0103n\u00e2nc, dar \u00eei uram mai mult pe “s\u0103racii lumii”, c\u0103 m\u0103 fac \u015fantajabil\u0103 prin asociere. <\/p>\n
Apoi, am vrut un ghiozdan nou la \u00eenceputul anului \u015fcolar.
\n-S\u0103racii lumii ar fi ferici\u0163i s\u0103-l aib\u0103 pe \u0103sta.
\nNu i-am mai zis maic\u0103-mii ce credeam, \u015fi anume c\u0103 e vorba de strict\u0103 zg\u00e2rcenie personal\u0103 a ei, \u015fi s\u0103racii lumii n-aveau nici o leg\u0103tur\u0103, pentru c\u0103 era na\u015fpa s\u0103 te duci mov-alb\u0103strui la deschiderea \u015fcolar\u0103. Dar \u00een continuare “s\u0103racii lumii” mi se p\u0103rea cel mai infect praf \u00een ochi \u015fi a\u015f fi preferat s\u0103-mi spun\u0103 b\u0103rb\u0103te\u015fte: “M\u0103 calicesc s\u0103-\u0163i iau ghiozdan nou.”<\/p>\n
Dup\u0103 aia, am \u00eenceput s\u0103-mi c\u00e2\u015ftig propriii bani, s\u0103 m\u0103 asigur c\u0103 nu-mi mai vine nimeni, niciodat\u0103, cu argumentul retardat “s\u0103racii lumii”. De ce retardat? Pentru c\u0103 direc\u0163ia spre care te \u00eendrep\u0163i este \u00een mare m\u0103sur\u0103 definit\u0103 de raportare. Dac\u0103 alegi s\u0103 te raportezi strict la “s\u0103racii lumii” \u015fi s\u0103 te bucuri c\u0103 ai 7 milioane salariu \u015fi un boss cretin, nu ai efectiv cum s\u0103 evoluezi personal. Nu zic s\u0103 te raportezi nici la boga\u0163ii lumii, s\u0103 suferi c\u0103 n-ai insula ta personal\u0103 \u015fi o planta\u0163ie de arbori de coca pe ea, c\u0103 e ca \u015fi cum Oprah Winfrey ar suferi c\u0103 nu e Kate Moss \u015fi nici n-o s\u0103 fie vreodat\u0103. Dar e ok s\u0103 te raportezi la versiunea ta ceva mai bun\u0103 \u015fi mai elevat\u0103, \u015fi s\u0103 faci tot posibilul s\u0103 ajungi \u00een punctul \u0103la. Apoi la versiunea ta \u015fi mai bun\u0103 \u015fi tot a\u015fa. Deci, elimin\u00e2nd calicii \u015fi influen\u0163ele distructive din via\u0163a mea, m-am asigurat c\u0103 nu-mi mai poveste\u015fte nimeni despre “s\u0103racii lumii”. <\/p>\n
—<\/p>\n
\u015ei, colac peste pup\u0103z\u0103, se g\u0103se\u015fte un comentac retardat s\u0103-mi vin\u0103 la postarea “se poate epilat cu anestezie?” s\u0103-mi vin\u0103 cu argumentul “s\u0103racii lumii”. Ai, nu, pe bune. Dac\u0103 vreo membr\u0103 a familiei tale, dependent\u0103 financiar de tine, dorea epilat cu anestezie, \u00een\u0163elegeam. Dar s\u0103 vii s\u0103-mi spui mie, cu care n-ai nici o treab\u0103, c\u0103 “s\u0103racii lumii a\u015fa \u015fi pe dincolo” mi se pare mai mult dec\u00e2t calicenie. Mi se pare panic\u0103 calicoas\u0103 obsesiv-compulsiv\u0103, dac\u0103 exist\u0103 asta. \u015ei dac\u0103 nu, tocmai am descoperit-o. Am identificat un nou sindrom. M\u00e2ine m\u0103 duc s\u0103-l brevetez. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Prima oar\u0103 c\u00e2nd m-am \u00eent\u00e2lnit cu argumentul “s\u0103racii lumii” a fost \u00een fraged\u0103 pruncie, c\u00e2nd nu-mi pl\u0103cea un fel de m\u00e2ncare \u015fi adultul din...<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-6495","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-spicy"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6495","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=6495"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6495\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=6495"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=6495"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=6495"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}