Principalul avantaj al Cr\u0103ciunului \u00een Secuime e absen\u0163a cu des\u0103v\u00e2r\u015fire a colind\u0103torilor. Deocamdat\u0103. Vre\u0163i o vacan\u0163\u0103 sublim\u0103, verde, \u00een aer curat de munte \u015fi \u00een lini\u015fte arhetipal\u0103? \u00cencerca\u0163i orice mic\u0103 localitate din Harghita sau Covasna. Superofertele de s\u0103rb\u0103tori sunt la pre\u0163uri imbatabile, m\u00e2ncarea e de vis, pentru c\u0103 ungurii \u00een\u0163eleg ideea de client \u015fi nimeni nu v\u0103 violeaz\u0103 cu perversiuni auzul \u00een numele Domnului \u015fi-n scopul banului.<\/p>\n
Dar nu v-a\u0163i g\u00e2ndit la asta, drept care face\u0163i Cr\u0103ciunul \u00eentr-un bloc din Bucure\u015fti unde sunte\u0163i supus colind\u0103rii repetate \u015fi insistente. Ce pute\u0163i face ca s\u0103 sc\u0103pa\u0163i de asta? DEVENI\u0162I VOI \u00ceN\u015eIV\u0102 COLIND\u0102TORI.\u00a0Nu sta\u0163i acas\u0103, deci nu are cum s\u0103 v\u0103 \u00a0frece nimeni la icre cu l\u0103l\u0103ial\u0103 atroce. \u015ei \u00eenc\u0103 n-am v\u0103zut ciurd\u0103 de colind\u0103tori colind\u00e2nd alt\u0103 ciurd\u0103 de colind\u0103tori. De\u015fi tare frumos ar fi.<\/p>\n
A\u015fadar, ca \u00a0s\u0103 fii un colind\u0103tor de succes:<\/p>\n
A) \u00cencepe devreme. De pe 1 decembrie, dac\u0103 se poate, de ziua iubitei patrii. Sau pe 1 noiembrie, de ziua m\u0103tu\u015f\u0103-tii Safta. Sexul \u015fi colindatul seam\u0103n\u0103, \u00een sensul c\u0103 nu ai cum s\u0103 le \u00eencepi prea devreme. If your age is on the clock you are ready for the colindat.<\/p>\n
B) Alege cei mai afoni oameni din univers. E greu s\u0103-i g\u0103se\u015fti, \u015ftiu, pentru c\u0103 sunt deja angrena\u0163i \u00een proiecte de colindat concurente. Cererea sezonier\u0103 de oameni complet lipsi\u0163i de orice urm\u0103 de \u00a0voce e imens\u0103. De unde ne \u00eentoarcem la punctul A. Nu ai \u00a0cum s\u0103 \u00eencepi colindatul prea devreme. Cu c\u00e2t ga\u015fca e mai afoan\u0103 \u015fi mai antimuzic\u0103, cu at\u00e2t mizeaz\u0103 pe impactul: “Na-v\u0103 50 de lei \u015fi disp\u0103re\u0163i \u00een piza mamii voastre!” \u00cen fond, nu te faci colind\u0103tor s\u0103 chiar c\u00e2n\u0163i, pentru asta exist\u0103 Rom\u00e2nii au talent.<\/p>\n
C) \u00a0Alege ore imposibile, zorii dimine\u0163ii sau noaptea t\u00e2rziu, s\u0103 prinzi omul cu garda jos. S\u0103 vrea s\u0103 scape de tine repede \u015fi s\u0103 fie dispus s\u0103 pl\u0103teasc\u0103 oric\u00e2t pentru asta.<\/p>\n
D) Mi\u015fcarea Razia de Gabori: Bate cu furie la u\u015file oamenilor, eventual scoate-le din \u0163\u00e2\u0163\u00e2ni. Vina e tot a cet\u0103\u0163eanului, c\u0103 nu respect\u0103 datina din str\u0103buni.<\/p>\n
E) Omul are prea mul\u0163i saci de cocain\u0103 acas\u0103 \u015fi nu deschide \/ te \u00eentreab\u0103 prin u\u015fa \u00eentredeschis\u0103 \u015fi plin\u0103 de z\u0103voare dac\u0103 ai mandat de perchezi\u0163ie \u015fi \u0163i-o tr\u00e2nte\u015fte \u00een nas? No prob! Trendul 2016 e: apuc\u0103-te \u015fi rage colinda ORICUM. \u015etii c\u0103 \u00een spatele u\u015fii \u00eenchise e cineva care-\u0163i dore\u015fte moartea. Nu-\u0163i d\u0103 banul dac\u0103 te resemnezi \u015fi pleci repede. Ragi p\u00e2n\u0103 \u00a0cotizeaz\u0103.<\/p>\n
F) S\u0103 nu cumva s\u0103 \u00eenve\u0163i alte colinde dec\u00e2t Deschide u\u015fa cre\u015ftine. Fereasc\u0103 Dumnezeu de O, ce veste minunat\u0103, Trei p\u0103stori se \u00eent\u00e2lnir\u0103 etc. Nu se prinde lumea c\u0103 sunte\u0163i la colindat \u015fi eventual v\u0103 confund\u0103 cu corul Madrigal.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Principalul avantaj al Cr\u0103ciunului \u00een Secuime e absen\u0163a cu des\u0103v\u00e2r\u015fire a colind\u0103torilor. Deocamdat\u0103. Vre\u0163i o vacan\u0163\u0103 sublim\u0103, verde, \u00een aer curat de munte \u015fi...<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":11835,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":true,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-7054","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-spicy"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/12\/curaj.jpg?fit=345%2C345&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7054","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=7054"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7054\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":16264,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7054\/revisions\/16264"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/11835"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=7054"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=7054"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=7054"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}