{"id":7530,"date":"2014-03-12T21:11:06","date_gmt":"2014-03-12T21:11:06","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/lorenalupu.wordpress.com\/?p=7530"},"modified":"2014-03-12T21:11:06","modified_gmt":"2014-03-12T21:11:06","slug":"gripa-se-trateaza-cu-bere","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/gripa-se-trateaza-cu-bere\/","title":{"rendered":"Gripa se trateaz\u0103 cu bere"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Mult\u0103 lume o s\u0103 v\u0103 spun\u0103 c\u0103 antibioticele cu bere egal bla bla bla. E eronat, prieteni. Dac\u0103 sunte\u0163i gripa\u0163i grav, d\u00e2rd\u00e2i\u0163i de frig \u015fi febr\u0103, r\u0103spunsul corect e: pachetul de \u015fase. Bun, n-o s\u0103 le be\u0163i pe toate \u015fase deodat\u0103, c\u0103 gripa te face \u015fi al naibii de somnolent, drept care ritmul va fi: jum\u0103tate de bere &#8211; o or\u0103 de somn. \u00cenc\u0103 o jum\u0103tate de bere. \u00cenc\u0103 o or\u0103 de somn. Etc.<\/p>\n<p>Beneficiile, \u00eens\u0103, sunt uria\u015fe. Hai s\u0103 le trecem \u00een revist\u0103.<\/p>\n<p>A) Berea alin\u0103 ciufu\u0163enia \u015fi genereaz\u0103 ghidu\u015fie<\/p>\n<p>Ca orice om care vrea s\u0103 ias\u0103 din cas\u0103, te oftici maxim c\u00e2nd te vezi silit s\u0103 p\u0103ze\u015fti patul. Drept care, e\u015fti neprietenos. Aici, intervine berea. \u00ce\u0163i atenueaz\u0103 disconfortul cauzat de izolare \u015fi de dezolare \u015fi te face s\u0103 z\u00e2mbe\u015fti cu tandre\u0163e la glume stupide de pe I speak sarcasm as a second language.<\/p>\n<p>B) Berea hidrateaz\u0103<\/p>\n<p>Ca orice om care elimin\u0103 litri \u00eentregi prin fiecare por \u015fi prin fiecare orificiu, trebuie s\u0103 compensezi \u015fi s\u0103 completezi. Din nou, berea e prietena ta. \u00cen plus, spal\u0103 organismul de toxine \u00een cel mai s\u0103n\u0103tos mod posibil. A\u0163i v\u0103zut vreodat\u0103 b\u0103utor de bere bolnav de rinichi? Nici eu.<\/p>\n<p>C) Berea te face s\u0103 dormi.<\/p>\n<p>\u015etiu, am mai spus-o. Dar \u00eentre cele dou\u0103 subpuncte, am mai b\u0103ut jum\u0103tate de bere \u015fi am mai dormit o tur\u0103, a\u015fa c\u0103 nu se pune. Ideea e c\u0103 oricum te sim\u0163i ca o c\u00e2rp\u0103 stoars\u0103, a\u015fa c\u0103, m\u0103car, po\u0163i fi o c\u00e2rp\u0103 stoars\u0103 \u015fi odihnit\u0103.<\/p>\n<p>D) Berea desfund\u0103 nasul.<\/p>\n<p>E bizar, dar pute\u0163i verifica. Musai cu bere care s\u0103 nu fi stat \u00een frigider. S\u0103 fie rece, s\u0103 zicem din balcon, c\u0103 e luna martie \u015fi nu e chiar \u00eenghe\u0163, dar nu ca ghea\u0163a. Ce s\u0103 verifica\u0163i? P\u0103i uite: c\u00e2nd \u00eencepe\u0163i s\u0103 be\u0163i berea, v\u0103 curge nasul&#8230; gros, s\u0103 zicem. Pe m\u0103sur\u0103 ce o be\u0163i, ceva se elibereaz\u0103 \u015fi \u00eencepe s\u0103 v\u0103 curg\u0103&#8230; u\u015for \u015fi lichid. Se nume\u015fte miracolul berii.<\/p>\n<p>E) Berea \u00eenc\u0103lze\u015fte<\/p>\n<p>Partea cea mai nasoal\u0103 a gripei sunt frisoanele \u015fi senza\u0163ia perpetu\u0103 c\u0103 mori de frig. De la febr\u0103. Solu\u0163ia e tot \u00een bere. Dup\u0103 dou\u0103 beri, intervine fenomenul \u0103sta:<\/p>\n<div class=\"video-container\"><span class=\"embed-youtube\" style=\"text-align:center; display: block;\"><iframe loading=\"lazy\" class=\"youtube-player\" width=\"700\" height=\"394\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/4ltMV3t_y34?version=3&#038;rel=1&#038;showsearch=0&#038;showinfo=1&#038;iv_load_policy=1&#038;fs=1&#038;hl=en-US&#038;autohide=2&#038;wmode=transparent\" allowfullscreen=\"true\" style=\"border:0;\" sandbox=\"allow-scripts allow-same-origin allow-popups allow-presentation allow-popups-to-escape-sandbox\"><\/iframe><\/span><\/div>\n<p>\u015ei, m\u0103car pe urm\u0103toarea rund\u0103 de somn, nu mai d\u00e2rd\u00e2i.<\/p>\n<p>F) Berea are o oarecare consisten\u0163\u0103 \u00een dieta ta. Poate singura.<\/p>\n<p>Pentru c\u0103, atunci c\u00e2nd ai o grip\u0103 feroce, nu \u0163i-e foame. N-ai m\u00e2nca nici pl\u0103tit. N-ai m\u00e2nca nici dac\u0103 \u0163i s-ar aduce pe tav\u0103 cel mai frumos b\u0103iat din lume, care \u0163i-ar aduce pe tav\u0103 vinete alla parmigiana. (m\u00e2ncarea mea preferat\u0103, care, paradoxal, acum nu m\u0103 atrage.) Drept care, pe l\u00e2ng\u0103 moartea de frig \u015fi de deshidratare, ri\u015fti s\u0103 mori de foame. Nu \u015fi dac\u0103 bei bere, care are vitamine, minerale, toate elementele unui aliment \u00een sine.<\/p>\n<p>G) Berea te face r\u0103bd\u0103tor cu tine \u015fi cu al\u0163ii<\/p>\n<p>Dac\u0103 ai o anumit\u0103 intoleran\u0163\u0103 la stilul pis\u0103log, sau insistent, sau la alte defecte ale unor oameni c\u0103rora, din motive obiective, nu le po\u0163i spune s\u0103 tac\u0103 \u00een pula ta, gripa te face de cam 10000 de ori mai intolerant. Pe fond de &#8220;cui i-am gre\u015fit s\u0103 te suport&#8221;. Din nou, berea e PR-ul perfect. Sursa optim\u0103 de diploma\u0163ie.<\/p>\n<p>H) Acesta ar fi putut fi un advertorial.<\/p>\n<p>Dac\u0103 un anumit produc\u0103tor de bere, se \u015ftie el, nu d\u0103m nume, nu s-ar fi zg\u00e2rcit la c\u00e2t i-am cerut. Gripa e real\u0103, \u00eens\u0103. \u015ei pachetul de \u015fase.<\/p>\n<p>Concluzia: e \u00eentotdeauna o idee proast\u0103 s\u0103 fii calic cu Lorena Lupu. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Mult\u0103 lume o s\u0103 v\u0103 spun\u0103 c\u0103 antibioticele cu bere egal bla bla bla. E eronat, prieteni. Dac\u0103 sunte\u0163i gripa\u0163i grav, d\u00e2rd\u00e2i\u0163i de frig&#46;&#46;&#46;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-7530","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-spicy"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7530","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=7530"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7530\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=7530"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=7530"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=7530"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}