Mai nou, Facebook a b\u0103gat un feature oribil, care s\u0103 \u00eencurajeze apuc\u0103turile de \u0163a\u0163a mi\u0163a \u015fi de ofi\u0163er de securitate ale userilor s\u0103i. T\u00e2mpenia sinistr\u0103 intitulat\u0103 “Ask”.<\/p>\n
Dac\u0103 Gogu nu \u015fi-a afi\u015fat adresa, starea civil\u0103, liceul sau ultima curv\u0103 futut\u0103, Facebook te \u00eendeamn\u0103 blajin: ASK! Deci tu, care n-ai nici un motiv concret din univers pentru care s\u0103-i por\u0163i grija vie\u0163ii lui Gogu, po\u0163i s\u0103-i pui o gr\u0103mad\u0103 de \u00eentreb\u0103ri obraznice \u015fi nesim\u0163ite, care vor asigura, probabil, un nou val de blockuri printre \u0163\u0103ranii care nu-\u015fi pot \u0163ine curiozitatea b\u0103beasc\u0103 acas\u0103 \u015fi oamenii care nu datoreaz\u0103 socoteal\u0103.<\/p>\n
Zuckerberg, your mother hasn’t posted her sex records yet. ASK!<\/p>\n
*<\/p>\n
Apropo de asta, m\u0103 enerveaz\u0103 maxim o apuc\u0103tur\u0103 a rom\u00e2nului. “Nu v\u0103 sup\u0103ra\u0163i, unde e strada Trei-Pule-Blege?” Un om normal \u0163i-ar zice unde e, sau \u0163i-ar zice c\u0103-i pare r\u0103u, nu \u015ftie \u015fi nu vrea s\u0103 te \u00eencurce. Rom\u00e2nul te m\u0103soar\u0103 m\u00e2rl\u0103ne\u015fte de sus p\u00e2n\u0103 jos cu privirea aia r\u0103spl\u0103tibil\u0103 cu gloan\u0163e-n din\u0163i \u015fi \u00eentreab\u0103:
\n“Da’ unde v\u0103 duce\u0163i?”
\nS\u0103 \u0163in lum\u00e2nare la gang bangu’ m\u0103-tii cu zece alerg\u0103tori nigerieni, \u00ee\u0163i vine r\u0103spunsul.<\/p>\n
Ce te fute pe tine, trec\u0103torul Pul\u0103 Vasile, grija unde se duce cineva care nu-\u0163i datoreaz\u0103 socoteal\u0103?<\/p>\n
*<\/p>\n
Dar premiul pentru Cel Mai B\u0103g\u0103re\u0163 Interlocutor de Ocazie \u00eel de\u0163ine un nene din IOR.
\nSt\u0103team eu pe o banc\u0103 \u00een parc \u015fi scriam, c\u00e2nd, hopa, apare un c\u0103\u0163el. Se alint\u0103, se gudur\u0103, cere m\u00e2ng\u00e2ieri, se \u00eentinde pe jos cu burta \u00een sus, \u015fi, next thing you know, vrea s\u0103 m\u0103 adulmece la fermoarul blugilor. \u00cei \u00eemping capul mai \u00eencolo \u015fi-l m\u00e2ng\u00e2i.
\nPosesorul, un nene la vreo 50 de ani, \u00eentreab\u0103:
\n-Ahaa, sunte\u0163i pe ciclu!
\nWhat the Fucking Fuckable Fuck?
\n-C\u0103 de-aia \u00eencerca s\u0103 v\u0103 miroas\u0103 acolo. A\u015fa face cu toate femeile.
\n-Ah, \u015fi v\u0103 pune \u00een situa\u0163ia uberjenant\u0103 s\u0103 le \u00eentreba\u0163i pe toate dac\u0103-s la ciclu, nu?
\n-P\u0103i…
\n-\u015ei nu rata\u0163i niciodat\u0103 ocazia, nu?
\n-H\u0103h\u0103.
\n-\u015ei dac\u0103 o femeie v\u0103 r\u0103spunde: “Da, sunt la ciclu”, ce c\u00e2\u015ftiga\u0163i? Face\u0163i o lab\u0103 sau cum?
\n-Domni\u015foar\u0103, pune\u0163i \u00eentreb\u0103ri cam…
\n-P\u0103i nu eu am \u00eenceput. Ave\u0163i cumva o fantezie cu vreuna pe care o \u00eentreba\u0163i dac\u0103 e la ciclu \u015fi aia v\u0103 arat\u0103 tamponul plin de s\u00e2nge?
\nLa asta, a plecat. \u00cen vitez\u0103.
\nBun, deci e nepl\u0103cut s\u0103 fii interogat t\u00e2mpenii. Keep that in mind, data viitoare c\u00e2nd v\u0103 n\u0103pusti\u0163i cu \u00eentreb\u0103ri cretinoide asupra cuiva.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Mai nou, Facebook a b\u0103gat un feature oribil, care s\u0103 \u00eencurajeze apuc\u0103turile de \u0163a\u0163a mi\u0163a \u015fi de ofi\u0163er de securitate ale userilor s\u0103i. T\u00e2mpenia...<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-7623","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-spicy"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7623","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=7623"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7623\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=7623"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=7623"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=7623"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}