{"id":7649,"date":"2016-12-16T10:00:16","date_gmt":"2016-12-16T07:00:16","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/lorenalupu.wordpress.com\/?p=7649"},"modified":"2016-12-16T11:59:44","modified_gmt":"2016-12-16T08:59:44","slug":"tipa-de-la-stiri","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/tipa-de-la-stiri\/","title":{"rendered":"Tipa de la \u015ftiri"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Lui Grigore \u00eei pl\u0103cea la nebunie tipa de la \u015ftiri. Chiar dac\u0103 nu-l interesau \u00een mod deosebit ultimele violuri de la \u0163ar\u0103 \u015fi nici certurile dintre politicieni, urm\u0103rea \u015ftirile strict pentru a privi fix, ca hipnotizat, s\u00e2nii rotunzi care se ghiceau prin taioare office, accesorizate cu bijuterii mici. Paradoxal, sobrietatea \u00eel st\u00e2rnea \u00eentr-un mod animalic; avea nop\u0163i interminabile cu vise \u00een care o \u00een\u015ff\u0103ca s\u0103lbatic pe tipa de la \u015ftiri \u015fi f\u0103cea dragoste cu ea p\u00e2n\u0103 c\u00e2nd taiorul crem se dezintegra, femeia \u00ee\u015fi lega un os \u00een p\u0103r, se boia \u00een culorile r\u0103zboiului \u015fi pleca la v\u00e2n\u0103toare de rinoceri.<\/p>\n<p>Cump\u0103ra toate ziarele care publicau articole despre tipa de la \u015ftiri, o c\u0103uta zilnic pe Google, \u00eei \u015ftia povestea vie\u0163ii p\u00e2n\u0103 \u00een cele mai m\u0103runte detalii. Se oftica la culme c\u00e2nd o vedea pe undeva, prin vacan\u0163\u0103, cu so\u0163ul ei, un tip care cheltuia la pr\u00e2nz mai mul\u0163i bani dec\u00e2t salariul lunar al lui Grigore. Savura pofticios \u015ftirile de paparazzi, care o surprindeau la mare sau pe geamul propriei locuin\u0163e, \u00een ipostaze care \u00eei puneau \u00een valoare corpul apetisant. \u015ei, pentru c\u0103 tipei de la \u015ftiri \u00eei pl\u0103cea la nudi\u015fti, adeseori o vedea \u00eennebunitor de goal\u0103, cu mici p\u0103tr\u0103\u0163ele negre peste cele mai interesante puncte ale anatomiei. Atunci, \u00ee\u015fi pierdea min\u0163ile. Reintra din zece \u00een zece minute pe Internet, pe imaginile provocatoare, \u015fi-\u015fi relata \u00een scris, cu lux de am\u0103nunte, fanteziile picante \u00een sec\u0163iunea de comentarii. De cele mai multe ori, asta-i determina pe administratorii paginilor respective s\u0103-l baneze iar \u015fi iar. Dar nu se l\u0103sa descurajat. \u015etia c\u0103 un b\u0103rbat adev\u0103rat nu cedeaz\u0103 cu una, cu dou\u0103. \u00ce\u015fi folosea conexiunea de internet cu IP dinamic s\u0103 revin\u0103 cu alte mesaje de amor feroce. Asta pentru c\u0103 era literalmente \u00eennebunit dup\u0103 tipa de la \u015ftiri.<\/p>\n<p>\u00cen cele din urm\u0103, un editor fomist de la un tabloid celebru a avut o idee bestial\u0103: s\u0103 publice un articol const\u00e2nd dintr-un rezumat al fanteziilor erotice ale celui pe care l-a denumit Devoratorul de \u015etiri. Povestea a devenit viral\u0103, s-a r\u0103sp\u00e2ndit pe re\u0163elele sociale ca un virus imposibil de comb\u0103tut \u015fi, \u00een cel mai scurt timp, tot poporul \u015ftia c\u0103 tipa de la \u015ftiri are un adorator obsedat \u015fi uns cu toate alifiile, \u00een persoana, deocamdat\u0103 necunoscut\u0103, a Devoratorului.<\/p>\n<p>O parte din public s-a declarat sedus\u0103 \u015fi \u00eenc\u00e2ntat\u0103. \u015ei nu doar b\u0103ie\u0163eii dependen\u0163i de pornografie, care nu \u00een\u0163elegeau de ce femeile din via\u0163a real\u0103 nu-s at\u00e2t de ahtiate dup\u0103 g\u00e2t ad\u00e2nc ca acelea din filmele lor preferate. \u201eMaic\u0103, \u00een sf\u00e2r\u015fit un b\u0103rbat care \u015ftie ce vrea\u201d, oftau babele nostalgice, la coad\u0103 la supermarket. \u201eC\u0103 de la E-uri, to\u0163i b\u0103ie\u0163a\u015fii din ziua de azi par ni\u015fte t\u00e2r\u00e2ie-br\u00e2ie. Pe c\u00e2nd \u0103sta&#8230;\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Feministele au fost extrem de indignate. \u201eFaptul c\u0103 un m\u00e2rlan misogin ca \u0103sta, care \u00een mod evident trateaz\u0103 femeia ca pe un obiect sexual, este promovat de pres\u0103 e dovada vie a primitivismului \u015fi a atitudinii scandaloase fa\u0163\u0103 de femei a societ\u0103\u0163ii \u00een care tr\u0103im\u201d, scriau siteurile lor, \u00een lungi eseuri \u00eenc\u0103rcate de furie \u015fi dezgust.<\/p>\n<p>Iar tipa de la \u015ftiri? Ei, bine, singura persoan\u0103 a c\u0103rei reac\u0163ie era a\u015fteptat\u0103 cu inima la gur\u0103 de \u00eentreaga opinie public\u0103 refuza s\u0103 comenteze subiectul respectiv. Dar \u015fi aceast\u0103 atitudine era dezb\u0103tut\u0103 \u00eendelung. De la \u201eCe elegant din partea ei!\u201d \u015fi p\u00e2n\u0103 la \u201eTace pentru c\u0103-i place, nesim\u0163ita!\u201d, poporul o toca m\u0103runt, ne\u00eencetat. Pentru prima oar\u0103 \u00een istorie, \u015ftirile deveniser\u0103 lider de audien\u0163\u0103. \u015ei numai datorit\u0103 unui dement insistent.<\/p>\n<p>***<\/p>\n<p>\u00centr-o zi frumoas\u0103, cu soare, cineva sun\u0103 la u\u015fa lui Grigore.<!--more--> Acesta, pierdut \u00eentr-un\u00a0 meci de insulte pe pagina unui forum dedicat tipei de la \u015ftiri, nu se deranj\u0103 s\u0103 r\u0103spund\u0103.<\/p>\n<p>Soneria se auzi \u015fi mai ap\u0103sat. \u00cen cele din urm\u0103, Grigore se \u00eendrept\u0103 spre u\u015f\u0103. \u201eD\u0103, doamne, s\u0103 nu fie proprietarul\u201d, morm\u0103i el cu un ochi la chiuveta plin\u0103 de vase adunate \u00eenc\u0103 din cretacicul t\u00e2rziu.<\/p>\n<p>\u201eNu r\u0103spundem la sondaje de opinie!\u201d strig\u0103, sper\u00e2nd c\u0103 persoana care insista s\u0103-i invadeze spa\u0163iul personal va pleca.<\/p>\n<p>\u201eNu e un sondaj de opinie!\u201d auzi o voce binecunoscut\u0103.<\/p>\n<p>Nu-i veni s\u0103 cread\u0103. Deschise u\u015fa val-v\u00e2rtej.<\/p>\n<p>\u201e\u0102\u0103\u0103?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u00cen cadrul u\u015fii st\u0103tea chiar tipa de la \u015ftiri.<\/p>\n<p>\u201eV\u0103d c\u0103 ai tupeu doar pe Internet; \u00een via\u0163a real\u0103 e\u015fti bleg ca o c\u00e2rp\u0103\u201d, \u00eel gratul\u0103 ea dup\u0103 c\u00e2teva secunde de t\u0103cere st\u00e2njenit\u0103 din partea b\u0103rbatului \u00een\u0163epenit \u00een pragul u\u015fii.<\/p>\n<p>\u201e\u0102\u0103\u0103, nu e&#8230;\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Ea \u00eel d\u0103du la o parte, intr\u0103 \u00een apartament \u015fi \u00eenchise u\u015fa.<\/p>\n<p>\u201eDeci, nu e un mit; orice viteaz de pe Internet e un pui\u015for de g\u0103in\u0103 costeliv \u00een realitate.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201eCum&#8230; cum?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201eNimeni nu e de neg\u0103sit, dac\u0103 un om vrea s\u0103 caute!\u201d, exclam\u0103 tipa de la \u015ftiri.<\/p>\n<p>Se uit\u0103 dispre\u0163uitoare \u00een jur.<\/p>\n<p>\u201eNu te d\u0103 cur\u0103\u0163enia afar\u0103 din cas\u0103, nu?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201eH\u0103h\u0103, nu\u201d, r\u00e2se el.<\/p>\n<p>\u201eEu venisem s\u0103-\u0163i propun s\u0103 nu mai publici istorioare sexuale cu mine, c\u0103-mi provoci nepl\u0103ceri cu so\u0163ul. \u015ei, dac\u0103 tot ai problema asta, s-o rezolv\u0103m. Numai c\u0103&#8230;\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u00cel privi dispre\u0163uitor din cap \u015fi p\u00e2n\u0103-n picioare.<\/p>\n<p>\u201eNu prea cred c\u0103 ai fi \u00een stare s\u0103-mi faci ceva, \u00een halul \u00een care e\u015fti acum!\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201eH\u0103h\u0103h\u0103h\u0103, nu.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201eBun. Data viitoare vin \u015fi cu so\u0163ul, s\u0103 te vad\u0103 \u015fi s\u0103 \u00een\u0163eleag\u0103 c\u0103 nu e cazul s\u0103 se enerveze.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201eNnn..uuu. Nu mai scriu nimic niciodat\u0103, nic\u0103ieri.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201eOK!\u201d porni tipa de la \u015ftiri spre ie\u015fire.<\/p>\n<p>Apoi, din cadrul u\u015fii:<\/p>\n<p>\u201eBa, po\u0163i s\u0103 scrii c\u00e2te ceva, a\u015fa, din dou\u0103 \u00een dou\u0103 s\u0103pt\u0103m\u00e2ni. \u00cemi prinde bine la rating!\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>&nbsp; Lui Grigore \u00eei pl\u0103cea la nebunie tipa de la \u015ftiri. Chiar dac\u0103 nu-l interesau \u00een mod deosebit ultimele violuri de la \u0163ar\u0103 \u015fi&#46;&#46;&#46;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":11818,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":true,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-7649","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-spicy"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/Robin-Meade.jpg?fit=640%2C384&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7649","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=7649"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7649\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":11828,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7649\/revisions\/11828"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/11818"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=7649"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=7649"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=7649"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}