Am un prieten care, zilnic sau aproape, \u00ee\u015fi umple profilul de facebook ba cu poze cu grase, ba cu \u0163\u0103r\u0103nci slinoase, ba cu p\u0103pu\u015fi de silicon \u015fi, perpetuu, se vaiet\u0103 c\u0103 vede femei la bra\u0163 cu ur\u00e2\u0163i boga\u0163i.<\/p>\n
E wallul lui. Dar redundan\u0163a obose\u015fte. De aceea vreau s\u0103 supun g\u00e2ndirii popula\u0163iei masculine urm\u0103torul aspect.<\/p>\n
Eu \u00een\u0163eleg, filmele \u015fi c\u0103r\u0163ile v\u0103 \u00eenva\u0163\u0103 c\u0103 sunte\u0163i supereroi. \u015ei supereroi fiind, dac\u0103 pune\u0163i ochii pe o femeie, ea VI SE CUVINE. Nu conteaz\u0103 ce simte \u00een privin\u0163a voastr\u0103, la un moment dat se va trezi la realitatea faptului c\u0103 v\u0103 apar\u0163ine, \u015fi se va supune cu umilin\u0163\u0103 \u00eendatoririlor de sug\u0103toare la penisul vostru \/ menajer\u0103 gratuit\u0103 \/ altele nespecificate \u00een contract.<\/p>\n
\u015ei atunci, toate femeile care p\u0103c\u0103tuiesc prin a fi
\na) grase
\nb) ur\u00e2te
\nc) direct interesate de cea mai bun\u0103 ofert\u0103
\nd) neinteresate de impresia voastr\u0103 despre cum ar trebui s\u0103 fie ele
\nmerit\u0103 eradicate \u015fi supuse umilirii publice.<\/p>\n
B\u0103i, b\u0103ie\u0163i! Am tot zis-o \u015fi o repet: nimeni nu v\u0103 datoreaz\u0103 nimic \u00een via\u0163\u0103. A\u015fa cum voi p\u0103r\u0103si\u0163i c\u00e2nd apare ceva mai fresh la orizont, p\u0103r\u0103se\u015fte \u015fi ea c\u00e2nd apare ceva mai interesant (dup\u0103 criteriile ei) la orizont. E o iluzie c\u0103 oamenii \u00ee\u015fi apar\u0163in unii altora. At\u00e2t b\u0103rba\u0163i, c\u00e2t \u015fi femei, to\u0163i v\u00e2n\u0103m cea mai bun\u0103 ofert\u0103.<\/p>\n
“Sunt \u00een rela\u0163ie cu una, dar ea \u00eemi arat\u0103 c-o plictisesc \u015fi vorbe\u015fte cu trei-patru \u00een afar\u0103 de mine!”, mi se pl\u00e2ngea zilele trecute un t\u00e2n\u0103r trist \u015fi vag defect gramatical pe wallul altei prietene. P\u0103i b\u0103iete, regret s\u0103 te informez, dar nu e\u015fti \u00een rela\u0163ie cu acea una. A decis c\u0103 oferta ta nu e cea mai bun\u0103 \u015fi a mar\u015fat la altele. E ce faci \u015fi tu, c\u00e2nd apare bun\u0103ciunea n+1, pentru care ui\u0163i s-o mai suni pe bun\u0103ciunea n.<\/p>\n
Nu \u00een ultimul r\u00e2nd: nici unul dintre noi nu e \u00een m\u0103sur\u0103 s\u0103 dea verdicte legate de criteriile lui A sau cele ale lui B. Oricum, A sau B nu-\u015fi vor schimba criteriile de gura noastr\u0103. Nu-l v\u0103d pe Gigel convins s\u0103 ias\u0103 cu o ur\u00e2t\u0103, dac\u0103 dau eu status pe Facebook c\u0103 sufletul conteaz\u0103, a\u015fa cum n-o v\u0103d pe Pryntzesik Tah ie\u015find cu un s\u0103rac, pentru c\u0103 postezi tu c\u0103 sufletul conteaz\u0103.<\/p>\n
Bomb\u0103nelile sugereaz\u0103 cel mult oftica noastr\u0103 legat\u0103 de faptul c\u0103 n-avem cu ce s\u0103 le satisfacem. (Eu, una, n-am \u00eent\u00e2lnit niciodat\u0103, de exemplu, un b\u0103rbat cu bani care s\u0103 \u00eenjure materialismul femeilor. On the contrary, they’re glad to oblige.) \u015ei tocmai de aceea: \u00een loc s\u0103 l\u0103tr\u0103m c\u0103 femeile pe care le-am ag\u0103\u0163a (alea mi\u015fto) sunt curve, iar b\u0103rba\u0163ii pe care i-am ag\u0103\u0163a (insera\u0163i criteriu) sunt “bagabon\u0163i”, nu mai bine ne evalu\u0103m realist oferta \u015fi st\u0103m lini\u015fti\u0163i \u00een banca noastr\u0103? <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Am un prieten care, zilnic sau aproape, \u00ee\u015fi umple profilul de facebook ba cu poze cu grase, ba cu \u0163\u0103r\u0103nci slinoase, ba cu p\u0103pu\u015fi...<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-7934","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-spicy"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7934","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=7934"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7934\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=7934"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=7934"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=7934"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}