{"id":7964,"date":"2014-05-27T13:08:57","date_gmt":"2014-05-27T13:08:57","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/lorenalupu.wordpress.com\/?p=7964"},"modified":"2014-05-27T13:08:57","modified_gmt":"2014-05-27T13:08:57","slug":"celulita-si-cafeaua","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/celulita-si-cafeaua\/","title":{"rendered":"Celulita \u015fi cafeaua"},"content":{"rendered":"

Din c\u00e2nd \u00een c\u00e2nd, \u00eemi mai cade sub ochi un newsletter \u00een rom\u00e2n\u0103 sau englez\u0103 care-mi jur\u0103 pe ro\u015fu \u015fi pe cravata de pionier c\u0103 o s\u0103 scap definitiv de celulit\u0103. Comparativ cu ce dind\u0103r\u0103turi de doamne am v\u0103zut eu ultima oar\u0103 la mare, pot zice c\u0103 m\u0103 \u00eencadrez la “decen\u0163\u0103”. Dar c\u00e2nd idealul t\u0103u \u00een via\u0163\u0103 sunt merele ionatane, te pui singur \u00een situa\u0163ia asta. Acea de aici<\/a>.<\/p>\n

Bun. Dep\u0103\u015find momentul jenant: dai de newsletterul care promite fese de bebelu\u015f proasp\u0103t operat estetic \u015fi dai, logic, click. \u015ei, mereu, regula 1 m\u0103 irit\u0103 cu draci: Renun\u0163a\u0163i la cafea, ceai negru \u015fi alte b\u0103uturi cu con\u0163inut ridicat de cofein\u0103.<\/p>\n

P\u0103i, nenic\u0103! Poate dac\u0103 m-a\u015f \u00eendeletnici cu… habar n-am ce activitate presupune s\u0103 stai frumos \u015fi s\u0103 nu-\u0163i solici\u0163i ginga\u015fa f\u0103ptur\u0103, nici fizic \u015fi nici intelectual, dar s\u0103 zicem c\u0103 m-a\u015f \u00eendeletnici cu ea, a\u015f putea renun\u0163a la cafele \u015fi cofeine. Dar nu \u015fi atunci c\u00e2nd dai lasciv \u015fi precipitat din creier pentru supravie\u0163uire. Serios. Tr\u0103im \u00eentr-un Bucure\u015fti de \u00eenceput de mileniu trei, supus presiunilor de tot felul. Nu mai veni\u0163i cu abera\u0163ii SF de genul “renun\u0163a\u0163i la cafea \u015fi la etc.”<\/p>\n

Apoi, s\u0103 zicem c\u0103 ok, celulita face fesele s\u0103 arate ca craterele de pe Lun\u0103. Cum \u00ee\u0163i explici, S\u0103ftico, c\u0103 toate anticeluliticele din univers au \u00een compozi\u0163ie cofein\u0103, cafea, cafea verde, extract de cafea, \u015fi a\u015fa mai departe? Gen, ingurgitat\u0103, te umple de r\u00e2ie, dar uns\u0103 uniform \u015fi cu masaj diafan pe organism, te trateaz\u0103 de r\u00e2ie? Ne le\u015fi?<\/p>\n

Dac\u0103 nu v\u0103 sperie ideea de a v\u0103 lua c\u00e2te o sticl\u0103 de Mr. Muscolo pe s\u0103pt\u0103m\u00e2n\u0103, gagici, be\u0163i-v\u0103 lini\u015ftite cafeaua de diminea\u0163\u0103. O stacan\u0103, dou\u0103, trei, c\u00e2te v\u0103 satisfac. Apoi lua\u0163i frumos za\u0163ul cu voi la du\u015f \u015fi amesteca\u0163i-l cu un pic de ulei de m\u0103sline, s\u0103 lunece bine. (Extra sex tip: uleiul de m\u0103sline e ideal \u015fi pentru \ud83d\ude09 dar s\u0103 revenim la celulita noastr\u0103) Unge\u0163i maclavaisul negru \u015fi h\u00e2d pe ginga\u015fa f\u0103ptur\u0103 \u015fi masa\u0163i cu pasiune \u015fi abnega\u0163ie. Cl\u0103ti\u0163i la du\u015f. Apoi desfunda\u0163i \u0163eava astfel astupat\u0103 (m\u0103 refer la cea a c\u0103zii, desigur) cu Mr. Muscolo.<\/p>\n

Adev\u0103r v\u0103 zic vou\u0103, dac\u0103 face\u0163i \u015fmecheria asta zilnic, \u00een cel mai scurt timp ve\u0163i tr\u0103i o poveste de dragoste romantic\u0103, sensibil\u0103 \u015fi totu\u015fi vijelioas\u0103, cu propriul dvs. koor. Ve\u0163i divor\u0163a de b\u0103rba\u0163i \u015fi v\u0103 ve\u0163i m\u0103rita cu el. \u015ei o s\u0103 v\u0103 cheme pe toate: Curu Vasilica, Curu Simona, Curu Adrian. Toat\u0103 Rom\u00e2nia va deveni familia Curu. Ceea ce, neoficial, e deja. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Din c\u00e2nd \u00een c\u00e2nd, \u00eemi mai cade sub ochi un newsletter \u00een rom\u00e2n\u0103 sau englez\u0103 care-mi jur\u0103 pe ro\u015fu \u015fi pe cravata de pionier...<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-7964","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-spicy"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7964","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=7964"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7964\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=7964"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=7964"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=7964"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}