Am intrat pe un text unde lumea povestea cu mult patetism despre ta\u0163ii lor violen\u0163i care au ajuns \u00eentre timp handicapa\u0163i \u00een c\u0103rucioare \u015fi pe care-i hr\u0103nesc cu linguri\u0163a, \u015fi nu le poart\u0103 pic\u0103 – \u015fi \u00eentre r\u00e2nduri, citeai cum i-ar sufoca cu perna.<\/p>\n
\u015ei despre filozofia aia penibil\u0103, cum c\u0103 r\u0103ul trebuie r\u0103spl\u0103tit cu bine, chit c\u0103 impulsul originar e s\u0103 iei o b\u00e2t\u0103 \u015fi s\u0103-\u0163i faci dreptate.<\/p>\n
\u015ei m-am crucit.<\/p>\n
Frate, impulsul originar, cel cu b\u00e2ta \u015fi dreptatea, e cel just.<\/p>\n
Oamenii, din punctul meu de vedere, se \u00eempart \u00een dou\u0103 mari categorii: cei benigni, care vor s\u0103 construiasc\u0103, s\u0103 fac\u0103 lucruri, s\u0103 ofere, \u015fi cei maligni, care vor s\u0103 prosteasc\u0103 pe al\u0163ii, s\u0103-i umileasc\u0103, s\u0103-i \u00een\u015fele, s\u0103-\u015fi asume meritele lor, s\u0103-i slug\u0103reasc\u0103 f\u0103r\u0103 s\u0103-i recompenseze \u015fi tot a\u015fa.
\nCu cei benigni nu sunt probleme. Chiar dac\u0103 \u00ee\u0163i fac o t\u00e2mpenie, vezi pe ei c\u0103 le pare r\u0103u \u015fi nu po\u0163i sta sup\u0103rat pe ei, pentru c\u0103 sunt prea nice.<\/p>\n
Cei maligni, \u00eens\u0103, pot fi \u0163inu\u0163i \u00een fr\u00e2u cu o singur\u0103 arm\u0103. Nu, nu ra\u0163iunea. N-au. Nici mila. Ce rahat e mila? Gesturile frumoase? D\u0103\u0103\u0103h, li se cuvin. Nu, nu ai nici un merit c\u0103 faci un anume lucru pentru ei; e\u015fti oricum un sclav prost \u015fi de-aia o faci. Nevoile tale? Doar nu-\u0163i imaginezi c\u0103-i pas\u0103 de ele.<\/p>\n
Cei maligni pot fi \u0163inu\u0163i \u00een fr\u00e2u prin inocularea ideii c\u0103 TU PO\u0162I S\u0102 LE FACI MAI MULT R\u0102U DEC\u00c2T \u0162I-AR FACE EI \u0162IE \u015eI C\u0102 NU TE DAI \u00ceN L\u0102TURI S\u0102-L FACI, DAC\u0102 NU STAU \u00ceN B\u0102NCILE LOR.<\/p>\n
V-a b\u0103tut unul, fie el \u015fi tat\u0103? P\u0103i proaste sunte\u0163i voi dac\u0103 mai sta\u0163i pe acolo. \u015ei dac\u0103-l mai \u015fi sp\u0103la\u0163i, concluzia lui va fi: “Nu-s io mai de\u015ftept dec\u00e2t Gogu din deal? \u0102la a dat bani pe medita\u0163ii s\u0103-i ajung\u0103 copiii departe \u015fi beneficiaz\u0103 de acela\u015fi tratament cu mine. Eu, cu o investi\u0163ie infinit mai mic\u0103, am ob\u0163inut acelea\u015fi \u00eengrijiri.”<\/p>\n
Nu, frate. Vezi c\u0103 un om te trateaz\u0103 ca pe un c\u0103cat? Traseul e simplu.<\/p>\n
Pas 1: B\u0103i, \u0163i se pare normal s\u0103 m\u0103 tratezi ca pe un c\u0103cat? <\/em><\/p>\n Surprinz\u0103tor, dup\u0103 un dialog de genul \u0103sta, unii oameni se schimb\u0103 \u00een atitudine. De obicei, \u0103ia benigni, dar pe care i-a \u00eenv\u0103\u0163at societatea s\u0103 fie javre. Deci, nu javrele \u00eenn\u0103scute, ci cele condi\u0163ionate. O discu\u0163ie heart-to-heart le deschide con\u015ftiin\u0163a.<\/p>\n Pas 2: \u0162i se pare normal? Bun! Rupem orice leg\u0103tur\u0103.<\/em><\/p>\n \u015ei rupi orice leg\u0103tur\u0103<\/strong>. F\u0103r\u0103 ezit\u0103ri, f\u0103r\u0103 regrete. Dac\u0103 tu n-ai \u00een Gore un tat\u0103, Gore n-are de ce s\u0103 aib\u0103 un copil \u00een tine. El nu \u0163i-a oferit iubire \u015fi sus\u0163inere c\u00e2nd ai avut tu nevoie, \u00eei ar\u0103\u0163i \u015fi tu un deget c\u00e2nd \u00ee\u0163i cere ceva. E o diferen\u0163\u0103 \u00eentre omul care face tot ce poate s\u0103-\u0163i fie bine \u015fi cel pe care-l doare \u00een pul\u0103. P\u0103i hai s\u0103 ne concentr\u0103m priorit\u0103\u0163ile pe cel care \u00eentr-adev\u0103r mi\u015fc\u0103 mun\u0163ii din loc, nu pe cel care n-a \u015ftiut cum s\u0103-\u0163i bage mai abitir be\u0163e \u00een roate.<\/p>\n Pas 2 bis: Ocazional, c\u00e2te unul se prinde c\u0103 e\u015fti util \u015fi \u00eencearc\u0103 o reconciliere.<\/em><\/p>\n Dac\u0103 nu \u0163i-e \u00eenc\u0103 100% clar dac\u0103 ai de-a face cu o persoan\u0103 predominant benign\u0103 sau una malign\u0103, \u00eencearc\u0103 o chestie care se nume\u015fte “perioada beta”. \u00cel la\u015fi pe om s\u0103 expun\u0103 platforma program, dar cu maxim\u0103 ne\u00eencredere \u015fi aten\u0163ie sporit\u0103 la detalii. Dup\u0103 cum c\u00e2nta Shakira: Shame on you if you fool me once, shame on me if you fool me twice. <\/em> Dac\u0103 vezi c\u0103 omul a \u00een\u0163eles ni\u015fte lucruri, po\u0163i r\u0103m\u00e2ne amiabil. A\u015fa cum sunt eu cu p\u0103rin\u0163ii mei, acum. Suntem \u00een rela\u0163ii cordiale, vorbim la telefon, nu ne purt\u0103m s\u00e2mbete. Dar nici nu ne a\u015ftept\u0103m la mari gesturi de iubire, pentru c\u0103 \u015ftim c\u0103 unde nu ai oferit nimic, nu vii cu preten\u0163ii.<\/p>\n Dac\u0103 vezi c\u0103 tac-tu sau gagicu-tu abuziv se poart\u0103 frumos dou\u0103 zile, apoi \u00eencepe iar s\u0103 fac\u0103 pe dubiosul, pleac\u0103. Te descurci tu. Pleac\u0103 \u00een str\u0103in\u0103tate s\u0103 \u015ftergi mo\u015fi la fund un an p\u00e2n\u0103 te redresezi financiar, dac\u0103 asta e drama, pleac\u0103 la rude \u015fi prieteni, dac\u0103 ai, pleac\u0103 v\u0103z\u00e2nd cu ochii. \u015ei f\u0103-l pe agresor s\u0103 priceap\u0103 extrem de clar, f\u0103r\u0103 urm\u0103 de \u00eendoial\u0103, c\u0103 nu vei uita niciodat\u0103 ce \u0163i-a f\u0103cut, iar dac\u0103 \u00eendr\u0103zne\u015fte s\u0103 se apropie de tine, ai strategii s\u0103-l faci s\u0103 regrete \u015fi nu vei ezita s\u0103 le folose\u015fti. Agresorii sunt atra\u015fi de mirosul de victim\u0103. De atitudinea de oaie sp\u0103sit\u0103 pe care po\u0163i s-o h\u0103r\u0163uie\u015fti cum vrei tu, c\u0103 nu va reac\u0163iona. Agresorii ador\u0103 lipsa de consecin\u0163e. \u00cei relaxeaz\u0103. Tocmai de aceea se poart\u0103 slugarnic cu zdrahonul satului, care-i poate desfigura dintr-un dos de palm\u0103, \u015fi tiranic cu \u0103ia mici \u015fi slabi.<\/p>\n Factori agresivi exist\u0103 oric\u00e2nd. Tu decizi cum gestionezi \u015fi cum recompensezi chestia asta. \u015ei \u00een func\u0163ie de ce anume recompensezi – generozitatea sau mitoc\u0103nia – le vei aduce \u00een mai mic\u0103 sau mai mare m\u0103sur\u0103 \u00een via\u0163a ta. Am intrat pe un text unde lumea povestea cu mult patetism despre ta\u0163ii lor violen\u0163i care au ajuns \u00eentre timp handicapa\u0163i \u00een c\u0103rucioare \u015fi...<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-8053","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-spicy"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8053","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=8053"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8053\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":9168,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8053\/revisions\/9168"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=8053"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=8053"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=8053"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
\nRecunosc, eu, dup\u0103 ce m-am maturizat, n-am avut nici o rela\u0163ie abuziv\u0103 cu absolut nimeni. Pentru c\u0103 n-am stat nici o secund\u0103 \u00een rela\u0163ii abuzive. De \u00eendat\u0103 ce am constatat c\u0103 nu \u00eent\u00e2lneam respectul la care m\u0103 a\u015ftept, \u00eentrerupeam comunicarea. \u015ei scoteam la b\u0103ut pe cineva mai simpatic. De aceea e frumoas\u0103 via\u0163a. \u00centotdeauna exist\u0103 cineva mai simpatic.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"