{"id":8304,"date":"2014-07-09T17:56:31","date_gmt":"2014-07-09T17:56:31","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/lorenalupu.wordpress.com\/?p=8304"},"modified":"2014-07-09T17:56:31","modified_gmt":"2014-07-09T17:56:31","slug":"violul-cu-strigaturi","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/violul-cu-strigaturi\/","title":{"rendered":"Violul cu strig\u0103turi"},"content":{"rendered":"

(Disclaimer: Marea maestr\u0103 grafonimfoman\u0103 LaBianca Roiu-Stupu ne-a acuzat, prin globul ei de cristal \u015fi atestarea paranormal\u0103 (cu ajutorul c\u0103rora ne-a citit c\u0103r\u0163ile cu ochiul c\u0103prui al dragostei sale) pe Nemerovschi \u015fi pe mine c\u0103 scriem cu gerunzii \u015fi cu topic\u0103 nefrecventabil\u0103, spre deosebire de domnia sa, care se frecventeaz\u0103<\/a> de la sine. Drept care, Nemerovschi<\/a> \u015fi eu ne facem autocritica \u015fi-i ar\u0103t\u0103m stimatei exegete c\u0103 \u00eei vom urma cu os\u00e2rdie de epigoance modelul literar. Uite \u015fi parodia Cristinei<\/a>.) <\/em><\/p>\n

-Ce-i acest spurcat m\u0103dular pe care-l fluturi \u00een fa\u0163a ochilor mei ginga\u015fi ca dou\u0103 boabe de cirea\u015f\u0103 amar\u0103 \u00eenc\u0103 nepenetrate de forme de via\u0163\u0103 vulgare \u015fi mi\u015fun\u0103toare? \u00eentreb\u0103 Gherghina, flutur\u00e2nd din genele ei lungi ca suli\u0163ele otomane, m\u0103t\u0103soase ca blana diafanelor pisici de angora \u015fi arcuite \u00een sus ca ni\u015fte viteje\u015fti erec\u0163ii de ieniceri.<\/p>\n

Inima ei mic\u0103 \u015fi fragil\u0103 ca un pui de r\u00e2ndunic\u0103 proasp\u0103t c\u0103zut din cuib \u015fi supus furiei dezl\u0103n\u0163uite a elementelor se zb\u0103tea \u00een pieptu-i \u00eembobocit ca un m\u0103ce\u015f \u00een miezul trandafiriu al catifelatei prim\u0103veri care tocmai se desfr\u00e2na \u015fi se desf\u0103ta \u00een lungul \u015fi-n latul dealurilor verzi \u015fi pline de taine seculare neb\u0103nuite ale T\u00e2rlihon\u0163ului de Deal. Printre aceste taine se ascundeau, desigur, miile de feciorii neprih\u0103nite c\u0103zute vremelnic\u0103 jertf\u0103 cerbiciei neostoite ale fl\u0103c\u0103ilor m\u00e2ndri cu chimire v\u00e2rtoase ale frumosului sat.<\/p>\n

-H\u0103? f\u0103cu Ion Neghiobul, luat pe nea\u015fteptate.<\/p>\n

\u00cen fa\u0163a valului de cuvinte, spurcatul m\u0103dular se \u00eenchirci \u015fi se \u00eentrist\u0103, pref\u0103c\u00e2ndu-se \u00eentr-un melcu\u015for orfan, lipsit de cochilie.<\/p>\n

Ion Neghiobul era cel mai de\u015ftept fl\u0103c\u0103u din sat. Dar toat\u0103 lumea \u00eei pizmuia pildele pline de adev\u0103r miezos \u015fi ad\u00e2nc ca o zical\u0103 a \u00een\u0163eleptului Toma Popotamossus, c\u0103rturarul de legend\u0103 ad\u0103postit de schitul din v\u00e2rf de deal. Taman de aceea i se zicea Neghiobul, la derut\u0103.<\/p>\n

\u015ei \u015ftim c\u0103 ac\u0163iunea nu v\u0103 intereseaz\u0103, de aceea mai recurgem la o descriere plictisitoare \u015fi cu multe metafore conspectate din manualul de a opta, \u00een care v\u0103 vom povesti ce frumoase sunt p\u0103durile T\u00e2rlihon\u0163ului De Deal. Copacii seculari sunt plini de frunze mari, zim\u0163ate \u015fi verzi, ca ni\u015fte palme de extratere\u015ftri neprih\u0103ni\u0163i. Ei protejeaz\u0103 \u015fi umbresc ciupercu\u0163e mici \u015fi ro\u015fii, pline de sev\u0103 febril\u0103 \u015fi clocotitoare, cu p\u0103l\u0103rioare gra\u0163ioase \u015fi poporul de mi\u015fun\u0103toare furnici care nu \u00ee\u015fi \u00eentrerup nici o clip\u0103 robotitul teutonic. Asta, desigur, p\u00e2n\u0103 c\u00e2nd una dintre ele nimeri \u00eentre globurile albe, fragede, pline, acoperite ca un puf de piersic\u0103, dincolo de care mijeau misterele unei feciorii \u00eenc\u0103 neexplorate.<\/p>\n

-Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! ie\u015fi din c\u0103rnosul piept rustic \u015fi molatic al Gherghinei un \u0163ip\u0103t zvelt \u015fi bine acordat, ca un tril de privighetoare.<\/p>\n

V\u00e2nticelul adia lin, f\u0103c\u00e2nd s\u0103 fo\u015fneasc\u0103 vine\u0163iile piz… cr\u0103p\u0103turi-catifelate-ale-\u0163ig\u0103ncii care \u00eenv\u0103luiau poieni\u0163a prim\u0103v\u0103ratic\u0103 \u00eentr-un parfum \u00eemb\u0103t\u0103tor ca apa de foc.<\/p>\n

Se auzi un cuc \u00een zare. F\u0103cea un \u201ecucu\u201d melodios, \u015fi totu\u015fi ritmic.<\/p>\n

Trecu o c\u0103ru\u0163\u0103 pe drumul de \u0163ar\u0103. B\u0103tr\u00e2nii boi p\u0103\u015feau agale, parc\u0103 ap\u0103sa\u0163i de g\u00e2nduri negre greu de deslu\u015fit. Badea Vasile p\u0103rea \u015fi mai ap\u0103sat dec\u00e2t ei. Din p\u0103cate, cu mintea la socotelile din t\u00e2rg, nu-i v\u0103zu pe Gherghina \u015fi pe Ion Neghiobul.<\/p>\n

Soarele ardea ca o bil\u0103 de foc aurie, p\u00e2rjolitoare \u015fi totu\u015fi t\u0103m\u0103duitoare pentru rana s\u00e2nger\u00e2nd\u0103 din sufletul Gherghinei, pitit cu grij\u0103 dup\u0103 ochii ei mari \u015fi blajini, plini de iubire fratern\u0103 \u015fi de puritate copil\u0103reasc\u0103, printre care \u00ee\u015fi croia drum cu greutate prima lacrim\u0103.<\/p>\n

-Vreau s\u0103 m\u0103 m\u0103rit fat\u0103-mare! strig\u0103 Gherghina, oft\u00e2nd de parc\u0103 tot universul se opunea delicatei \u015fi suavei dorin\u0163e.<\/p>\n

Se mai auzi un cuc \u00een zare. Posibil acela\u015fi, posibil altul.<\/p>\n

Poiana era verde ca invidia mea c\u00e2nd o v\u0103d pe Roiu c\u00e2t e de talentat\u0103 \u015fi eu nu.<\/p>\n

P\u0103durea se \u00eenfiora sub m\u00e2ng\u00e2ierea bl\u00e2nd\u0103 a zefirului.<\/p>\n

Toate divaga\u0163iile p\u0103m\u00e2ntului se \u00eentreceau \u00een a sta \u00een calea pove\u015ftii propriu-zise.<\/p>\n

-M\u0103 duc s\u0103 beau o r\u0103chie, oft\u0103 Ion Neghiobul, dep\u0103\u015fit de situa\u0163ie.<\/p>\n

-Aaaaaah, \u0163ip\u0103 din nou Gherghina, agit\u00e2ndu-se. Blestemata de furnic\u0103 mi-a intrat \u00eentre globurile catifelate ale feciorelnicului meu c\u0103rnos dos, \u015fi nu v\u0103d p\u00e2n\u0103 acolo, prin h\u0103\u0163i\u015furile p\u0103durii seculare.<\/p>\n

-A\u015fa-\u0163i trebuie, vaco! scoase misoginul de Ion Neghiobul un r\u00e2njet plin de r\u0103utate dr\u0103ceasc\u0103 \u015fi plec\u0103 agale, cu cruzime de fl\u0103c\u0103u orb la suferin\u0163a ancestral\u0103 a fecioarelor torturate de furnici b\u0103g\u0103re\u0163e.
\n-Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! mai scoase Gherghina un r\u0103cnet ca un fagure de miere.
\nSe mai auzi un cuc \u00een zare. Era o invazie de cuci \u00een Codrii Seculari ai T\u00e2rlihon\u0163ului. <\/p>\n

Soarele mistuia ca pasiunea unui \u00eendr\u0103gostit f\u0103r\u0103 sc\u0103pare. Ceea ce nu era cazul lui Ion Neghiobul.
\nUn nori\u015for plutea \u00een aceea\u015fi zare men\u0163ionat\u0103 mai sus.<\/p>\n

Floricelele delicate de pe paji\u015fte r\u0103sp\u00e2ndeau o dulce mireasm\u0103, ca ni\u015fte clopote \u00een miniatur\u0103 preasl\u0103vind un creator de efemerit\u0103\u0163i sublime.<\/p>\n

(Loc de divagat la infinit, c\u0103 m-am plictisit)<\/p>\n

-Oh, dar cu violul meu cum r\u0103m\u00e2ne? gemu cu suav\u0103 \u015fi feciorelnic\u0103 \u00eentristare Gherghina cea cu p\u0103rul auriu ca gr\u00e2nele, ochi mari ca ni\u015fte lacuri limpezi de munte, din\u0163i ca ni\u015fte perle ginga\u015fe, buze ca ni\u015fte petale de bujori \u015fi multe alte calit\u0103\u0163i pe care vi le zic eu mai \u00eencolo.<\/p>\n

Tufi\u015ful se d\u0103du la o parte, \u015fi dintre crengile misterioase \u015fi fo\u015fnitoare, ap\u0103ru \u00een\u0163eleptul schimnic, Sf\u00e2ntul Toma Popotamossus.<\/p>\n

-C\u0103ie\u015fte-te, roaba lui Dumnezeu, strig\u0103 el. \u015etiai c\u0103 un prieten e acela care vine \u015fi nechemat, c\u00e2nd greut\u0103\u0163ile vie\u0163ii o impun \u015fi numai la nevoie se cunoa\u015fte? \u015ei c\u0103 o fat\u0103 voia un inel, dar b\u0103iatul i-a dat un ursule\u0163, drept care fata a aruncat ursule\u0163ul pe drum \u015fi c\u0103 l-a c\u0103lcat o ma\u015fin\u0103 cu b\u0103iat cu tot? \u015ei \u015ftiai c\u0103 femeile trebuie s\u0103 se \u00eendr\u0103geasc\u0103 a\u015fa cum sunt, ca s\u0103 poat\u0103 da economia faliment? \u015ei \u015ftiai c\u0103…<\/p>\n

-AAAAAAAAAAAAh, \u0163ip\u0103 din nou Gherghina, cu o cristalin\u0103 voce de privighetoare speriat\u0103.
\nSmulsese o ciuperc\u0103 mai solid\u0103 \u015fi acum \u015fi-o \u00eendesa \u00eensetat\u0103 \u00een neprih\u0103nita scoic\u0103 m\u0103t\u0103soas\u0103, ce nu cunoscuse niciodat\u0103 m\u0103dular.<\/p>\n

Sf\u00e2ntul Toma f\u0103cu o cruce mare \u015fi se \u00eendep\u0103rt\u0103 cutremurat \u00een sufletu-i neprih\u0103nit de cele lume\u015fti.
\nSe mai auzi un cuc. P\u0103durea mai fo\u015fni o dat\u0103, florile mai parfumar\u0103 a dat\u0103 aerul, etc.<\/p>\n

-Ce-\u015fi face omul cu m\u00e2nu\u0163a lui fragil\u0103 \u015fi diafan\u0103 ca o petal\u0103 de crin, viol animalic se nume\u015fte! oft\u0103 Gherghina, r\u0103sufl\u00e2nd u\u015furat\u0103.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

(Disclaimer: Marea maestr\u0103 grafonimfoman\u0103 LaBianca Roiu-Stupu ne-a acuzat, prin globul ei de cristal \u015fi atestarea paranormal\u0103 (cu ajutorul c\u0103rora ne-a citit c\u0103r\u0163ile cu ochiul...<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-8304","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-spicy"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8304","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=8304"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8304\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=8304"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=8304"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=8304"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}