{"id":8469,"date":"2014-08-15T08:48:35","date_gmt":"2014-08-15T08:48:35","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/lorenalupu.wordpress.com\/?p=8469"},"modified":"2014-08-15T08:48:35","modified_gmt":"2014-08-15T08:48:35","slug":"de-ce-dai-tu-sfaturi-despre-copii","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/de-ce-dai-tu-sfaturi-despre-copii\/","title":{"rendered":"&quot;De ce dai tu sfaturi despre copii?&quot;"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><em>Dac\u0103 tot mi-am descoperit  pe ultima sut\u0103 de metri voca\u0163ia de autor pe parenting, hai s\u0103 recidiv\u0103m.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>Una dintre cele mai frecvente \u00eentreb\u0103ri de la articolul cu copila\u015ful umilit \u00een supermarket a fost: Tu n-ai copii, ca ce chestie ne \u00eenve\u0163i pe noi cum s\u0103 ni-i cre\u015ftem pe ai no\u015ftri?<\/p>\n<p>Dragi prieteni, <\/p>\n<p>Eu n-am copii, dar cresc copiii altora de pe la 14 ani. <\/p>\n<p>Vede\u0163i voi,<br \/>\neu eram copil eminent, \u00eentr-o familie de o s\u0103r\u0103cie lucie. \u015ei, destul de repede, m-am prins c\u0103 medita\u0163iile sunt o surs\u0103 destul de bun\u0103 \u015fi stabil\u0103 de bani. Excelam \u00een dou\u0103 domenii: limba englez\u0103 \u015fi matematica. Am \u00eenceput cu c\u00e2\u0163iva copii corigen\u0163i, nu cu mult mai mici dec\u00e2t mine, dar considera\u0163i de toat\u0103 lumea, inclusiv p\u0103rin\u0163ii lor idio\u0163i pe care i-a\u015f bate \u015fi acum cu m\u0103tura peste din\u0163i, cazuri pierdute pentru umanitate. <\/p>\n<p>Buuun. Am luat un astfel de copil, l-am meditat o var\u0103 \u00eentreag\u0103. Nu \u015ftia nici m\u0103car tabla \u00eenmul\u0163irii, de\u015fi era \u00een a \u015fasea. S-a dus, a dat corigen\u0163a. A luat opt. <\/p>\n<p>Care era de fapt principala problem\u0103 a copilului? <\/p>\n<p>R\u0103spuns: o \u00eencredere \u00een for\u0163ele proprii f\u0103cut\u0103 franjuri de ni\u015fte bovine cu zero aptitudini p\u0103rinte\u015fti, care din prost, t\u00e2mpit \u015fi idiot nu-l scoseser\u0103. &#8220;De nimic nu e\u015fti bun!&#8221; V\u0103 sun\u0103 familiar? \u015ei mie. Ce vor p\u0103rin\u0163ii s\u0103 spun\u0103 cu asta? &#8220;Pune m\u00e2na la treab\u0103!&#8221; Ce \u00een\u0163elegi tu, copil? C\u0103 de nimic nu e\u015fti bun. <\/p>\n<p>Dup\u0103 ce am ob\u0163inut optul de la corigen\u0163\u0103, toat\u0103 lumea a c\u0103zut \u00een cur de mirare \u015fi minunare, \u015fi m-a \u00eentrebat: ce dumnezeu ai f\u0103cut cu idiotul sinistru care blabla? <\/p>\n<p>Nimic special. I-am spus c\u0103 nu e idiot sinistru. I-am spus c\u0103 voi sunte\u0163i idio\u0163i sini\u015ftri pentru c\u0103-l trata\u0163i cum \u00eel trata\u0163i. \u015ei c\u0103 e \u00een puterea lui s\u0103 \u00een\u0163eleag\u0103 materia aceea. Am luat-o frumos, lec\u0163ie cu lec\u0163ie, i-am explicat fiecare teorem\u0103 \u00een parte p\u00e2n\u0103 a \u00een\u0163eles-o, am f\u0103cut exerci\u0163ii p\u00e2n\u0103 m-am convins c\u0103 a \u00een\u0163eles teorema cu pricina, l-am cople\u015fit cu teme, \u015fi-l sunam seara s\u0103-l verific dac\u0103 \u015fi-a f\u0103cut temele. Pe scurt, l-am muncit pe copilul \u0103la ca pe ho\u0163ii de cai, dar l-am \u015fi l\u0103udat v\u00e2rtos pentru fiecare rezultat. I-am insuflat credin\u0163\u0103 \u00een faptul c\u0103 taskurile care se cereau pentru corigen\u0163\u0103 sunt realizabile. \u015fi au fost. <\/p>\n<p>Dup\u0103 ce &#8220;team Lorena&#8221; a luat opt la corigen\u0163\u0103, subit, mi-au fost livrate alte cazuri disperate similare. \u015ei, asem\u0103n\u0103tor, am reu\u015fit s\u0103 iau not\u0103 de trecere cu to\u0163i. Bine, nu to\u0163i au fost de opt &#8211; care e o not\u0103 imens\u0103 la un examen de corigen\u0163\u0103, unde to\u0163i profesorii pleac\u0103 din start cu preconcep\u0163ia c\u0103 e\u015fti cretin. Unii erau mai recalcitran\u0163i, unii mai del\u0103s\u0103tori cu temele, unii mai neaten\u0163i la explica\u0163ii \u015fi a trebuit s\u0103 muncesc triplu pe c\u00e2te un \u015fase. Dar rezultate au fost la to\u0163i. <\/p>\n<p>De\u0163ineam vreo metod\u0103 secret\u0103? Nu. Pur \u015fi simplu nu f\u0103ceam dec\u00e2t s\u0103 le spun lucruri pe care t\u00e2njisem eu \u00eens\u0103mi s\u0103 le aud de la adul\u0163ii din jurul meu, dar adul\u0163ii din jurul meu fuseser\u0103 prea zg\u00e2rci\u0163i emo\u0163ional s\u0103 mi le ofere.  <\/p>\n<p>O tanti pe care o chem eu s\u0103-mi fac\u0103 curat m-a \u00eentrebat o dat\u0103, cu jum\u0103tate de gur\u0103, dac\u0103 m\u0103 sup\u0103r dac\u0103 vine cu nepo\u0163ica de patru ani, care i-a aterizat \u00een primire. N-avea cu cine s-o lase. \u015ei e extrem de energic\u0103 \u015fi pus\u0103 pe \u015fotii. Desigur, nu m-am sup\u0103rat.<br \/>\n\u015ei au venit. Primul lucru pe care l-a f\u0103cut copilul a fost s\u0103 alerge dup\u0103 Pulic\u0103, motanul meu, \u015fi s\u0103-l trag\u0103 de coad\u0103. Dac\u0103 eram o g\u00e2sc\u0103 proast\u0103, \u00eencepeam s\u0103 zbier. Am procedat altfel. Am luat-o \u00een bra\u0163e, am m\u00e2ng\u00e2iat-o pe c\u0103p\u015for \u015fi i-am povestit cum l-am salvat pe Pulic\u0103, pe c\u00e2nd era un pisoi mic-mic-mic, de pe un tomberon, unde se c\u0103\u0163\u0103rase cu chiu cu vai, \u015fi-l l\u0103trau ni\u015fte c\u00e2ini mari \u015fi fioro\u015fi. Am mai \u015fi \u00eenflorit povestea, e adev\u0103rat. M-a ascultat copilul \u0103la cu o cumin\u0163enie de \u00eenger \u015fi, la final, a luat pisoiul \u00een bra\u0163e &#8211; &#8220;cu delicate\u0163e, m\u0103mic\u0103, c\u0103 e sensibil, ca \u015fi tine!&#8221; &#8211; cu delicate\u0163e, s\u0103-l m\u00e2ng\u00e2ie pentru c\u0103 a fost agresat de c\u00e2ini. Apoi am \u00eenv\u0103\u0163at s\u0103 desen\u0103m pisici \u015fi, p\u00e2n\u0103 a terminat tanti de f\u0103cut curat, am fost de o cumin\u0163enie \u015fi o dr\u0103g\u0103l\u0103\u015fenie de nu i-a venit bunic\u0103-sii s\u0103 cread\u0103. <\/p>\n<p>Am nimerit \u015fi copii mai distan\u0163i, care nu erau pe giugiuleal\u0103. Cu \u0103ia po\u0163i excela \u00een discu\u0163ii. Le pui \u00eentreb\u0103ri \u015fi descoperi c\u00e2te o min\u0163i\u015foar\u0103 impresionant de activ\u0103 \u015fi de vie, care \u00eenregistreaz\u0103 totul, ca un radar. Dac\u0103 ei se transform\u0103 \u00een ni\u015fte mici mizantropi, gre\u015feala e tot a p\u0103rintelui bou-de-Rom\u00e2nia, care insist\u0103 s\u0103-l trateze ca pe un copil: &#8220;Taci din gur\u0103, c\u0103 nu \u015ftii nimic!&#8221; <\/p>\n<div class=\"video-container\"><span class=\"embed-youtube\" style=\"text-align:center; display: block;\"><iframe loading=\"lazy\" class=\"youtube-player\" width=\"700\" height=\"394\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/B1_kKw2gioY?version=3&#038;rel=1&#038;showsearch=0&#038;showinfo=1&#038;iv_load_policy=1&#038;fs=1&#038;hl=en-US&#038;autohide=2&#038;wmode=transparent\" allowfullscreen=\"true\" style=\"border:0;\" sandbox=\"allow-scripts allow-same-origin allow-popups allow-presentation allow-popups-to-escape-sandbox\"><\/iframe><\/span><\/div>\n<p>La \u00eenceputul film\u0103rilor la spotul \u0103sta, aveam patru copii \u015fi un bebe intimida\u0163i \u015fi t\u0103cu\u0163i ca morm\u00e2ntul. Erau pe un imens platou de filmare, \u00eenconjura\u0163i de o echip\u0103 de str\u0103ini. Ca s\u0103 ajung\u0103 la nivelul \u0103sta de relaxare, ne-am jucat de-a prinselea o or\u0103. \u015ei a trebuit s\u0103 le explic c\u0103 &#8220;ne juc\u0103m de-a mama isteric\u0103 \u015fi copiii r\u0103i&#8221;, ca s\u0103 nu se inhibe c\u00e2nd am \u00eenceput eu s\u0103 urlu. <\/p>\n<p>N-am copii nu pentru c\u0103 nu \u015ftiu cum s\u0103 m\u0103 port cu ei, ci pentru c\u0103 nu s-a ivit oportunitatea. Dar c\u00e2nd o s\u0103-i am, garantez c\u0103 o s\u0103 ne distr\u0103m minunat \u00eempreun\u0103. Asta nu \u015fti\u0163i voi s\u0103 face\u0163i. S\u0103 v\u0103 bucura\u0163i cu adev\u0103rat de tinere\u0163ea, prospe\u0163imea \u015fi pofta de joac\u0103 a \u0103lora mici. Ar trebui s\u0103 v\u0103 slujeasc\u0103 de energizant, dac\u0103 le-a\u0163i lua ca atare \u015fi nu a\u0163i fi seta\u0163i pe un perpetuu &#8220;Stai locului!&#8221; \u015fi &#8220;Taci din gur\u0103!&#8221; <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Dac\u0103 tot mi-am descoperit pe ultima sut\u0103 de metri voca\u0163ia de autor pe parenting, hai s\u0103 recidiv\u0103m. Una dintre cele mai frecvente \u00eentreb\u0103ri de&#46;&#46;&#46;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-8469","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-spicy"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8469","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=8469"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8469\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=8469"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=8469"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=8469"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}