Pai tatii stau mai putin timp cu copiii lor= nervi mai tari.
\nSau pt ei copilul e o placere, nu o obligatie= o fac ca sa demonstreze ca sunt mai buni decat jumatatea lor teoretic la fel de buna
\nCopiii de care povestesti par a fi mai mari decat cei din primul caz= sunt mai usor santajabili.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
Interpretarea asta a r\u0103spl\u0103\u0163ii (\u00ee\u0163i cump\u0103r ceva bun dac\u0103 e\u015fti impecabil la dictare) respectiv a negocierii (e\u015fti cuminte c\u00e2t timp facem treab\u0103, apoi ne juc\u0103m dup\u0103 pofta inimii) drept \u015fantaj mi-a sculat pe vertical\u0103 tot p\u0103rul din cap, de pe spinare \u015fi din zonele limitrofe.<\/p>\n
\u00cen tinere\u0163ile mele, c\u00e2nd eram de o naivitate sor\u0103 cu prostia, am avut pentru o scurt\u0103 vrene un pulete \u00eengrozitor, care percepea orice rug\u0103minte de bun-sim\u0163 drept \u015fantaj. Nu-i puteai cere s\u0103 cumpere o p\u00e2ine \u00een drum spre cas\u0103 pentru c\u0103 reprezenta un \u015fantaj. \u00cei spuneai s\u0103 nu te sune \u00eenainte de \u015fase c\u0103 repe\u0163i \u015fi puteai jura c\u0103 te va suna la cinci \u015fi jum\u0103tate, apoi nu te mai suna p\u00e2n\u0103 la opt, ca s\u0103 se r\u0103zbune c\u0103 n-ai r\u0103spuns c\u00e2nd te-a sunat. Orice \u00eencercare de interac\u0163iune normal\u0103 se solda cu un “da, da, da, vrei s\u0103 m\u0103 manipulezi s\u0103 fac ce vrei tu”.<\/p>\n
De fapt, ce voia el ar fi fost o form\u0103 oarecare de sclavie (a mea), care s\u0103-i confere lui toate drepturile, 24 de ore din 24, \u015fi absolut nici o obliga\u0163ie. Dup\u0103 ce m-am prins cum st\u0103m, l-am b\u0103gat \u00een mor\u0163ii, r\u0103ni\u0163ii \u015fi invalizii de gradul 1, 2 \u015fi 3 ai m\u0103-sii \u015fi am \u00eencetat orice comunicare.<\/p>\n
Un alt prost (de data asta coleg de munc\u0103 cu pula foarte mic\u0103, nu \u015ftiu dac\u0103 fizic, dar cel pu\u0163in din punct de vedere al caracterului era de o micime demn\u0103 de Guinness Books) \u00eencerca s\u0103 m\u0103 umileasc\u0103 verbal c\u00e2t \u015fi cum putea. \u015ei-l muiam c\u00e2t \u015fi cum puteam, evident. Apoi, vedea cum sunt abordat\u0103 de oameni politico\u015fi care, dac\u0103 voiau ceva, ofereau ceva la schimb, \u015fi \u00eencepea: “Hehe, ce u\u015for e\u015fti de \u015fantajat”.
\nNu cred c\u0103 l-am f\u0103cut s\u0103 \u00een\u0163eleag\u0103 vreodat\u0103 diferen\u0163a dintre \u015fantaj \u015fi negociere. N-a priceput nici \u00een ziua de azi c\u0103 umilire-minimalizare-cu-\u00eencercarea-de-manipulare-\u015fantaj era ce f\u0103cea el, iar ce f\u0103ceau oamenii normali era un t\u00e2rg corect.<\/p>\n
Paranoicii \u015fantajului, trebuie s\u0103 \u00een\u0163elege\u0163i un lucru. Orice coabitare, personal\u0103 sau profesional\u0103, \u00eentre dou\u0103 fiin\u0163e umane cu ochi de culoare diferit\u0103 presupune respectarea a dou\u0103 seturi de nevoi. Paranoia \u015fantajului, ca \u015fi paranoia materialismului (dar pe asta o trat\u0103m \u00een alt articol) e scuza perfect\u0103 pentru a-\u0163i b\u0103ga piciorul \u00een nevoile oponentului \u015fi a le impune numai pe ale tale. Iar cei doi ta\u0163i din articolul trecut f\u0103ceau the right thing. Con\u015ftientizau o nevoie \/ dorin\u0163\u0103 a copilului mic \u015fi gestionau situa\u0163ia \u00een a\u015fa fel, \u00eenc\u00e2t s\u0103 dea cu win-win.<\/p>\n
Paranoicii \u015fantajului au o teroare de ideea de win-win. Contorizeaz\u0103 orice win al altuia, chit c\u0103 nu-i afecteaz\u0103 cu nimic, ca pe un lose pentru ei, pentru simplul fapt c\u0103 nu e win-ul lor.<\/p>\n
C\u00e2nd v\u0103 iese \u00een cale un paranoic al \u015fantajului, solu\u0163ia e s\u0103 face\u0163i c\u00e2t mai pu\u0163ine pentru el. S\u0103 nu apuce nici o secund\u0103 s\u0103-\u015fi creeze senza\u0163ia de misecuvenism. C\u0103 o dat\u0103 creat\u0103, a\u0163i belit \u015ftacheta maxim. Toate dorin\u0163ele lui vor fi legi \u015fi toate dorin\u0163ele voastre vor fi b\u00e2z\u00e2it de musc\u0103. Dac\u0103 s-a instalat postura asta, demonta\u0163i-o. Fi\u0163i de neg\u0103sit. Refuza\u0163i tot ce vrea. De c\u00e2te ori vrea ceva, sublinia\u0163i cu trei liniu\u0163e c\u0103 nu ave\u0163i nici o obliga\u0163ie \u015fi nici un chef. Exclude\u0163i-l c\u00e2t mai mult din cercul vostru social.<\/p>\n
Unii vor pricepe \u015fi vor reveni cu o abordare nou\u0103, revizuit\u0103 \u015fi ad\u0103ugat\u0103. Al\u0163ii se vor \u00eenchista \u00een autovictimizare. Iar voi v\u0103 ve\u0163i vedea de noul cerc social descoperit \u00een timp ce v\u0103 descotorosea\u0163i de paranoicii \u015fantajului.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Exist\u0103 oameni care te plac \u015fi caut\u0103 s\u0103 fac\u0103 lucruri care s\u0103-\u0163i plac\u0103. Exist\u0103 oameni care nu caut\u0103 \u00een mod special s\u0103 fac\u0103 lucruri...<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":11266,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-8510","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-spicy"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/09\/mitz.jpg?fit=1920%2C1200&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8510","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=8510"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8510\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":11267,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8510\/revisions\/11267"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/11266"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=8510"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=8510"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=8510"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}