Legat de scris, exist\u0103 dou\u0103 categorii de oameni pe care nu-i voi \u00een\u0163elege niciodat\u0103.<\/p>\n
Prima categorie este alc\u0103tuit\u0103 din grafomanii \u00eencremeni\u0163i \u00een proiect. Oameni care violeaz\u0103 sistematic \u015fi f\u0103r\u0103 cru\u0163are limba rom\u00e2n\u0103. Tot ce scriu e o \u00een\u015firuire de cli\u015fee, de st\u00e2ng\u0103cii dizgra\u0163ioase (exist\u0103 \u015fi st\u00e2ng\u0103cii gra\u0163ioase) \u015fi de dialog complet lipsit de veridicitate. Dac\u0103 s-ar citi singuri, obiectiv, ar fugi \u00een lume \u00eengrozi\u0163i. Dar ei nu fac exerci\u0163iul \u0103sta, ci ne terorizeaz\u0103 pe mine, pe tine \u015fi pe al\u0163ii ca noi cu “Am un manuscris mititel, numai 723 de pagini, \u0163i-l trimit?” “NUUUU!” “Oops, scuze, gata, \u0163i l-am expediat. Dar vezi s\u0103-\u0163i plac\u0103, altfel o s\u0103 le spun la to\u0163i prietenii mei c\u0103 e\u015fti curv\u0103.”<\/p>\n
Am tot spumegat \u00eempotriva acestei categorii, n-are sens s-o lungesc.<\/p>\n
A doua categorie este format\u0103 din oamenii care, la o prim\u0103 citire a unui text scurt, \u00ee\u0163i aga\u0163\u0103 privirea prin farmecul alegerii cuvintelor, al fraz\u0103rii, prin modul \u00een care dirijeaz\u0103 povestea, \u00een fine, prin scriitur\u0103. \u015ei zici \u00eentr-o doar\u0103:
\n“Poate c\u0103 ar trebui s\u0103 \u00eencerci s\u0103 scrii un roman”.
\n\u015ei, spre surprinderea ta, omul se transform\u0103 \u00een v\u00e2rcolac ca Michael Jackson \u00een clipul Thriller \u015fi \u00eencepe s\u0103 rag\u0103 la lun\u0103:
\n“Ba tu sugi pula! \u015ei ba m\u0103-ta e curv\u0103 muist\u0103 prieten\u0103 cu regimentul pai\u015fpe infanterie, pe care-l fute pe ciorbe!”
\nA\u015ftep\u0163i cu r\u0103bdare s\u0103 treac\u0103 isteria, s\u0103-\u015fi retrag\u0103 col\u0163ii \u015fi s\u0103 cad\u0103 extenuat \u00eentr-un col\u0163 \u015fi \u00eentrebi:
\n“OK, coaie, ce-a fost chestia asta?”
\nSe face v\u00e2rcolac la loc. Mai url\u0103 o dat\u0103 la lun\u0103.
\n\u015ei tot a\u015fa de opt ori.
\n“B\u0103i, coaie, pula mea, dac\u0103 mai faci de-astea, \u00ee\u0163i fut trei perechi de palme de \u0163i se \u00eenfig col\u0163ii \u00een cur. Explic\u0103 omene\u015fte, nu te mai criza.”<\/p>\n
\u015ei omul explic\u0103:<\/p>\n
“C\u00e2nd exist\u0103 Gabriel Garcia Marquez pe lume, tu-mi spui mie s\u0103 scriu romane?”<\/p>\n
***<\/p>\n
Modestia asta prost \u00een\u0163eleas\u0103 e la fel de d\u0103un\u0103toare omenirii ca \u015fi grafomania malign\u0103. Nu e ca \u015fi cum rockul ar fi trebuit s\u0103 moar\u0103 la The Rolling Stones, pentru c\u0103 to\u0163i rockera\u015fii ar fi trebuit s\u0103 cad\u0103 \u00een cur fascina\u0163i \u015fi nimeni n-ar fi trebuit s\u0103 mai compun\u0103 o not\u0103, o dat\u0103 ce exist\u0103 ei. Nu e ca \u015fi cum sculptura ar fi trebuit s\u0103 moar\u0103 la Br\u00e2ncu\u015fi, pentru c\u0103 to\u0163i sculptorii ar trebui s\u0103 zic\u0103: “Mam\u0103\u0103\u0103, ce minun\u0103\u0163ie. Hai s\u0103 ne l\u0103s\u0103m to\u0163i de meserie \u00een grup, de mirifica\u0163i ce suntem!” Nu e ca \u015fi cum manelele ar trebui s\u0103 moar\u0103 la Florin Salam… \u0102\u0103\u0103, \u00een fine. A\u0163i prins voi ideea.<\/p>\n
Modestia asta prost \u00een\u0163eleas\u0103 \u0163ine direct de idolatrizarea p\u0103g\u00e2n\u0103 a c\u00e2torva nume, pe care \u00eempricinatul le crede sfinte \u015fi le pup\u0103 ca pe moa\u015ftele sfintei Paraschiva. Da, m\u0103, e OK s\u0103 respec\u0163i autorii de geniu, s\u0103-i iube\u015fti, s\u0103 le devorezi c\u0103r\u0163ile pe nerespirate, s\u0103 ai raftul de la baie plin de romane mi\u015fto.<\/p>\n
DAR…<\/p>\n
N-ai de ce s\u0103 te calci pe tine \u00eensu\u0163i \u00een picioare. Nu \u015ftii ce romancier exist\u0103 \u00een tine, p\u00e2n\u0103 ce nu pui m\u00e2na s\u0103-l descoperi. Desigur, e posibil s\u0103 nu existe nici unul. S\u0103 excelezi pe texte scurte. E posibil s\u0103 existe doar unul minor. E posibil, \u00eens\u0103, dac\u0103 te relaxezi \u015fi lucrezi cu tine, s\u0103 descoperi c\u0103 \u00een tine zace nu Marquez, nu Kafka, nu Sadoveanu, ci romancierul “tu”, care s\u0103 fie sclipitor de original \u015fi de talentat. N-ai de unde s\u0103 \u015ftii, p\u00e2n\u0103 c\u00e2nd nu \u00eencerci.<\/p>\n
***<\/p>\n
\u015ei nu \u00een ultimul r\u00e2nd. Cum ar fi fost dac\u0103 Marquez \u00eensu\u015fi, care, \u00eenainte de a ajunge marele scriitor Marquez, a fost \u015fi el un b\u0103iat obi\u015fnuit din Columbia, crescut de bunici \u015fi ahtiat dup\u0103 spectacole de circ, ar fi suferit de blocajul Marquez \u015fi ar fi zis: “Cojones, nu am cum s\u0103 m\u0103 apuc de scris, c\u0103 a fost unu’ Dostoievski, genial, \u015fi nu am cum s\u0103 m\u0103 ridic p\u00e2n\u0103 la el!”?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Legat de scris, exist\u0103 dou\u0103 categorii de oameni pe care nu-i voi \u00een\u0163elege niciodat\u0103. Prima categorie este alc\u0103tuit\u0103 din grafomanii \u00eencremeni\u0163i \u00een proiect. Oameni...<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-8537","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-spicy"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8537","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=8537"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8537\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=8537"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=8537"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=8537"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}