{"id":87,"date":"2008-02-18T00:15:40","date_gmt":"2008-02-17T21:15:40","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/lorenalupu.wordpress.com\/?p=87"},"modified":"2008-02-18T00:15:40","modified_gmt":"2008-02-17T21:15:40","slug":"umorul-involuntar-al-vietii","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/umorul-involuntar-al-vietii\/","title":{"rendered":"Umorul involuntar al vie\u0163ii"},"content":{"rendered":"

Conversa\u0163ie cu Rodica pe mess:<\/p>\n

\u00a0___ (16.02.2008 13:37:47): esti?
\nlorena lupu (16.02.2008 13:37:51): da
\n\u00a0___\u00a0(16.02.2008 13:38:01): ne mai vedem diseara?
\nlorena lupu (16.02.2008 13:38:08): da
\n\u00a0___\u00a0(16.02.2008 13:38:14): la cat si unde?
\nlorena lupu (16.02.2008 13:38:37): mai vii la ____?
\nlorena lupu (16.02.2008 13:38:47): sau e prea cih pt tine?
\n\u00a0___\u00a0(16.02.2008 13:38:55): ete, prea cah
\n\u00a0___\u00a0(16.02.2008 13:39:02): n-am inhibitii de genul asta
\nlorena lupu (16.02.2008 13:39:05): lol
\n___ (16.02.2008 13:39:06): da, e ok
\nlorena lupu (16.02.2008 13:39:10): de-aia imi esti atat de draga
\n___\u00a0(16.02.2008 13:39:14): \ud83d\ude42
\n___\u00a0(16.02.2008 13:39:35): la ce ora?
\nlorena lupu (16.02.2008 13:39:44): asta o hotarasti tu
\nlorena lupu (16.02.2008 13:39:49): asa e democratic
\nlorena lupu (16.02.2008 13:40:03): daca am venit io cu locul, vino tu cu ora
\n___\u00a0(16.02.2008 13:40:07): hai la 7
\nlorena lupu (16.02.2008 13:40:09): bun
\n___\u00a0(16.02.2008 13:40:19): direct in ___?
\nlorena lupu (16.02.2008 13:40:31): sau la botul metroului
\n___\u00a0(16.02.2008 13:40:36): da
\nlorena lupu (16.02.2008 13:41:12): parca e less humiliating la gura de metrou
\n___\u00a0(16.02.2008 13:41:24): ce e humiliating in alta parte?
\nlorena lupu (16.02.2008 13:41:40): ma simt asa prost
\n___\u00a0(16.02.2008 13:41:44): de ce?
\nlorena lupu (16.02.2008 13:41:59): sa intru intr-un bar sa casc gura dupa oameni
\nlorena lupu (16.02.2008 13:42:23): si toti tiganii, manelarii si cocalarii sa faca pst-pst gagicooo
\n___\u00a0(16.02.2008 13:42:28): <\/p>\n

——<\/p>\n

Ieri, dup\u0103 cum se stabilise mai sus, o a\u015fteptam pe Rodica la metrou. Aveam “pr\u0103jituri diverse” \u00een program, b\u00e2rfe \u00eentre 19.00 – 19.30, c\u00e2nd urma s\u0103 soseasc\u0103 Meszaros cel Genial, \u015fi s\u0103 trecem la discu\u0163ii mai de salon. \ud83d\ude42<\/p>\n

Cum st\u0103team eu s-o a\u015ftept, deodat\u0103 aud \u00een st\u00e2nga mea: bip-bip-bip. O fi cobor\u00e2t un extraterestru (vorba bancului: “Noi nu copul\u0103m, noi \u00eempungem cu antena \u015fi facem bip-bip-bip”)??? Ei bine, nu. Era un compostor de cartel\u0103 de metrou (sau cum se nume\u015fte chestia aia verde \u00een care \u00ee\u0163i bagi cartela \u015fi zice “Liber”) – c\u0103ruia i se c\u0103\u015funase a\u015fa, din nimic, s\u0103 bip\u0103ie \u015fi s\u0103 afi\u015feze din to\u0163i mu\u015fchii lui metalici: “REFUZAT”. F\u0103r\u0103 s\u0103-l fi atins nimeni, f\u0103r\u0103 motiv, f\u0103r\u0103 explica\u0163ie. Omul de la paz\u0103: “Ce-ai, b\u0103, iar faci p\u0103 nebunu’?” Jbang, un pumn. Lini\u015fte.<\/p>\n

Am \u00eenceput s\u0103 r\u00e2d de m\u0103 stricam. V\u0103z\u00e2ndu-m\u0103, omul a sim\u0163it oarecum nevoia s\u0103 se justifice:<\/p>\n

-A\u015fa e astea vechi, \u00ee\u015fi mai ies din balamale… da’ se potole\u015fte repede!<\/p>\n

—<\/p>\n

Bun! Vine Rodica. Nu cerem pr\u0103jituri diverse, cerem “Banana Split” \u015fi ne apuc\u0103m s\u0103 b\u00e2rfim. Aveam o jum\u0103tate de or\u0103 p\u00e2n\u0103 la venirea lui Meszaros cel Genial, \u015fi o gr\u0103mad\u0103 de “catch-up (with the latest news, of course.)<\/p>\n

Desigur, \u00eent\u00e2i apare Mesaro\u015fu, \u015fi abia dup\u0103 aceea Bananele Splituite (deja f\u0103ceam presupuneri referitoare la \u0163ara\u00a0\u00een care s-au dus s\u0103 le recolteze… \u015fi la mijlocul de transport cu care s-au dus). Chelneri\u0163a se bag\u0103 \u00eentr-un mod ciudat \u00een noi, r\u00e2nje\u015fte cam ca monstrule\u0163ul verde din “Little Shop of Horrors” c\u00e2nd c\u00e2nt\u0103 “Feed Me” \u015fi zice: “S\u0103 \u015fti\u0163i c\u0103 a\u015fa e banana \u00eentr-o parte”.<\/p>\n

Poftim???<\/p>\n

“A\u015fa e banana \u00eentr-o parte”.<\/p>\n

OK, s-a notat, mul\u0163umim. Pleac\u0103 tipa, schimb\u0103m priviri uimite, la care Mesaro\u015fu:<\/p>\n

“Da, foarte rar se \u00eent\u00e2mpl\u0103 s\u0103 fie pe centru”.<\/p>\n

—<\/p>\n

“\u015ei tu, Mesaro\u015fule cel Genial, nu \u00ee\u0163i iei o banan\u0103 a\u015fa, \u00eentr-o parte?”<\/p>\n

“Nuuu… Azi am f\u0103cut pr\u0103jitur\u0103 \u015fi m\u0103 a\u015fteapt\u0103 acas\u0103, aburind\u0103”.<\/p>\n

“TU ai f\u0103cut-o? Uaaaaau!?”<\/p>\n

“\u0102\u0103\u0103… p\u0103i… am dat \u015fi io o portocal\u0103 pe r\u0103z\u0103toare. Asta \u00eenseamn\u0103 c\u0103 am participat, nu?”<\/p>\n

———<\/p>\n

“\u015ei ce pr\u0103jitur\u0103 era?”<\/p>\n

“P\u0103i colegul meu de apartament a f\u0103cut o crem\u0103 de f\u0103in\u0103.”<\/p>\n

Rodica: \u0102la nu era cumva aluatul?<\/p>\n

——-<\/p>\n

“A\u015fa”, poveste\u015fte Meszaros, care e ca un soare alung\u0103tor de proast\u0103 dispozi\u0163ie, “\u015fi ne-am luat hamsteri. Colegul meu a luat o hamsteri\u0163\u0103 zglobie \u015fi juc\u0103u\u015f\u0103 da’ mie mi-a pl\u0103cut de unu’… a\u015fa, cuget\u0103tor. \u00centre \u0103ia mul\u0163i \u015fi f\u00e2\u015fne\u0163i, \u0103sta st\u0103tea a\u015fa… \u015fi g\u00e2ndea. De-asta mi-a pl\u0103cut.”<\/p>\n

“P\u0103i dac\u0103 st\u0103tea \u015fi g\u00e2ndea, poate era bolnav. Un hamster s\u0103n\u0103tos nu cuget\u0103” – Rodica, practic\u0103, de colo.<\/p>\n

“Da. Acas\u0103 am v\u0103zut c\u0103 avea un ochi mai mare \u015fi unu’ mai mic”.<\/p>\n

“Poate are o infec\u0163ie la ochi. Poate o s\u0103 moar\u0103”, se \u00eengrijoreaz\u0103 ea.<\/p>\n

“Cum s\u0103 moar\u0103, dac\u0103 am dat pe el dou\u0103 sute de mii?”<\/p>\n

—————<\/p>\n

Azi la semafor. St\u0103m noi, pietonii, stau \u015fi ma\u015finile. Cel mai aproape de mine, o camionet\u0103 cu geamul cobor\u00e2t, din care url\u0103 – ce altceva – maneaua cea de toate zilele. “Se lipesc banii de mineeee”. Ei, \u00een g\u00e2ndul meu, “vezi ce eficient e s\u0103 te speli rar sau deloc?<\/p>\n

de-aia fluier\u0103 v\u00e2ntul prin buzunarele mele…”<\/p>\n

“<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Conversa\u0163ie cu Rodica pe mess: \u00a0___ (16.02.2008 13:37:47): esti? lorena lupu (16.02.2008 13:37:51): da \u00a0___\u00a0(16.02.2008 13:38:01): ne mai vedem diseara? lorena lupu (16.02.2008 13:38:08):...<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[337],"class_list":["post-87","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-spicy","tag-totusi_viata_merita_hlizita"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/87","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=87"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/87\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=87"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=87"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=87"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}