Am pus alalt\u0103ieri un textule\u0163 cu o discu\u0163ie a noastr\u0103, a\u015fa, for lolz. Un textule\u0163 despre cum anumi\u0163i tipi nu se prea descurc\u0103 la cunilingus \u015fi c\u00e2t de simplu e s\u0103-i \u00eenve\u0163i cu un desen. \u015ei a \u00eenceput o discu\u0163ie de subsol, \u00een comentarii, care mi-a sculat tot p\u0103rul din cap.<\/p>\n
“Dac\u0103 iube\u015fti un b\u0103rbat cu adev\u0103rat, \u00ee\u0163i place cunilingusul oricum \u00eel face”, a \u0163ipat la mine o distins\u0103 doamn\u0103.<\/p>\n
Ai, nu, z\u0103u? Pe la debuturile mele sexuale, am \u00eenceput \u015fi eu, ca toat\u0103 lumea, cu hand job. \u015ei pentru c\u0103 eram o finu\u0163\u0103 \u015fi o ginga\u015f\u0103, aveam impresia c\u0103 penisul e un anim\u0103lu\u0163 califelat care trebuie m\u00e2ng\u00e2iat numai cu v\u00e2rful degetelor, s\u0103 nu \u00eenceap\u0103 s\u0103 necheze sau ceva. A \u00eendurat b\u0103iatul o dat\u0103, a \u00eendurat \u015fi a doua oar\u0103, apoi, \u00een cele din urm\u0103, mi-a ar\u0103tat c\u0103 o erec\u0163ie se trateaz\u0103 viguros \u015fi cu energie, nu cu duhul bl\u00e2nde\u0163ii, cum credeam eu. \u015ei nu a fost nici o sup\u0103rare, nici o ru\u015fine. Am \u00eenv\u0103\u0163at s-o frec cu energie \u015fi mi-a folosit toat\u0103 via\u0163a.<\/p>\n
\u00cen schimb, o parte dintre b\u0103rba\u0163i, \u00eendeob\u015fte \u0103ia pro\u015fti de bubuie, cu un orgoliu de cat\u00e2r, nebazat pe nici o realizare personal\u0103, \u00eencep s\u0103 rag\u0103 ca pro\u015ftii la o postare care spune cum o fat\u0103 \u00eei indic\u0103 unui tip cum \u00eei place ei sexul oral. E genul de om care \u00ee\u0163i d\u0103 r\u0103spunsul la \u00eentrebarea c\u0103reia eu una nu-i g\u0103seam sensul: “De ce mimeaz\u0103 anumite femei orgasmul?” Pentru c\u0103 altminteri, genul \u0103sta de l\u0103tur\u0103 uman\u0103 \u00eencepe s\u0103 mugeasc\u0103 la ele c\u0103-s frigide.<\/p>\n
Mie un tip care nu vrea dec\u00e2t “E\u015fti cel mai bun, e\u015fti cel mai tare” mi se pare o pierdere de vreme. Unul deschis, care \u00een\u0163elege c\u0103, a\u015fa cum \u00eei plac lui anumite lucruri, a\u015fa \u00ee\u0163i plac \u015fi \u0163ie anumite lucruri, e un b\u0103iat de p\u0103strat.<\/p>\n
Dar repet, nu pulifricii care au f\u0103cut crize de orgoliu aberant pe marginea post\u0103rii m-au speriat. \u0102ia o s\u0103-\u015fi g\u0103seasc\u0103 \u015fi ei ni\u015fte muieru\u015fti cu sindrom Stockholm \u015fi o s\u0103 persecute la ele cu convingere, \u00een timp ce ele vor suferi extatic. Sau o s\u0103 tr\u0103iasc\u0103 \u00een fericire \u015fi armonie cu iubita lor, Xhamster, p\u00e2n\u0103 c\u00e2nd impoten\u0163a \u00eei va desp\u0103r\u0163i.<\/p>\n
Ce m-a speriat mai grav au fost femeile care au s\u0103rit cu “b\u0103i, nene, cum s\u0103-i ceri unui b\u0103rbat s\u0103-\u0163i fac\u0103 ce-\u0163i place, dac\u0103-l iube\u015fti?”<\/p>\n
What? P\u0103i cui s\u0103-i ceri s\u0103-\u0163i fac\u0103 ce-\u0163i place? Po\u015fta\u015fului? Sectoristului? Instalatorului? Vecinului de la 3?<\/p>\n
A\u015fa se ajunge la c\u0103s\u0103toriile alea oribile, unde ambii parteneri tr\u0103iesc o minciun\u0103 asumat\u0103, “din sacrificiu”. Un sacrificiu pe care, dac\u0103 ai sta un pic s\u0103 discu\u0163i omene\u015fte cu cel\u0103lalt, l-ai putea evita foarte frumos.<\/p>\n
Inspirat de balamucul de pe pagina mea, poetul Dan C\u00e2rlea a dat \u015fi el un status.<\/p>\n
Dragostea este atunci c\u00e2nd tu faci fasole \u015fi eu vin, v\u0103d c\u0103 faci fasole \u015fi \u00eemi vine s\u0103 spun \u201eC\u0103cat, iar faci fasole s\u0103 d\u0103r\u00e2m\u0103m u\u015file cu b\u0103\u015fini? S\u0103 sar\u0103 lustra pe geam?!\u201d, c\u0103ci \u0163ie nu prea-\u0163i iese fasolea, dar spun \u201eWow, iubi, faci fasole! Yupiii, \u015fi pup\u201d, \u015fi te miri P\u0103i, eu privesc afirma\u0163ia asta din perspectiva femeii care a stat c\u00e2teva ore \u00een buc\u0103t\u0103rie, prest\u00e2nd un efort absolut dezagreabil, pentru ca la final \u0103la s\u0103 ia un hot dog de la col\u0163. O simpl\u0103 discu\u0163ie sincer\u0103: “Dragoste, te iubesc ca pe ochii mei din gur\u0103, dar e\u015fti varz\u0103 la g\u0103tit. Hai s\u0103 Trenta Pizza” ar rezolva frustrarea mut\u0103 a ambilor combatan\u0163i.<\/p>\n Nu, nu suntem cititori magici de g\u00e2nduri. Nu, nu avem de unde s\u0103 \u015ftim ce \u00eei place \u00een mod real celuilalt. Nu, nu e un sacrificiu nobil pe altarul iubirii faptul c\u0103 nu comunic\u0103m. Nu ne va ridica nimeni statuie. “Sf\u00e2ntul martir Gogu, a \u00eendurat 35 de ani blowjob cu din\u0163i \u015fi a m\u00e2ncat chiftele arse din iubire adev\u0103rat\u0103”.<\/p>\n Dac\u0103 nici iubirea nu e un teren unde cel\u0103lalt s\u0103 vrea s\u0103-\u0163i fac\u0103 pe plac (\u015fi tu lui, logic), e doar un timp petrecut \u00een constr\u00e2ngeri \u015fi pis\u0103logeal\u0103. Eu, de exemplu, \u015ftiu c\u0103 iubesc abia atunci c\u00e2nd descop\u0103r c\u0103 \u00eemi pas\u0103 dac\u0103 ceea ce fac \u00eei place celuilalt sau nu. \u015ei, da, faptul c\u0103 iubesc \u00eenseamn\u0103 c\u0103 m\u0103 intereseaz\u0103 s\u0103-i fac \u0103luia un blowjob perfect. Nu unul \u00een care el s\u0103-\u015fi duc\u0103 la final penisul la dentist, pe post de mulaj de ghips pentru eventuale lucr\u0103ri stomatologice ulterioare, dar s\u0103 z\u00e2mbeasc\u0103 \u00een sinea lui c\u0103 a f\u0103cut-o din dragoste.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Am pus alalt\u0103ieri un textule\u0163 cu o discu\u0163ie a noastr\u0103, a\u015fa, for lolz. Un textule\u0163 despre cum anumi\u0163i tipi nu se prea descurc\u0103 la...<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-8764","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-spicy"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8764","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=8764"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8764\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=8764"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=8764"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=8764"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
\n\u201eCredeam c\u0103 nu prea-\u0163i place fasolea\u201d, \u201eE, na, fii serioas\u0103, c\u00e2nd e gata?\u201d \u015fi m\u0103 bag \u00een baie s\u0103 \u00eenjur m\u0103runt c\u0103 iar\u0103\u015fi fasole \u015fi halesc a\u015fa nes\u0103rat\u0103, \u201eMai vrei sare cumva?\u201d, m\u0103 \u00eentrebi nesigur\u0103, \u201eNuuu, e perfect\u0103!\u201d \u015fi m\u0103n\u00e2nc \u015fi seara de\u015fi mai sunt \u015fni\u0163ele de ieri \u00een frigider, \u015fi m\u0103 anun\u0163i c\u0103 \u00een week-end faci sarmale \u2013 \u201eBOMBI\u0162E DE ALEA DE-ALE TALE?\u201d, \u00eemi vine s\u0103 urlu, dar m\u0103 bucur ca un copil la bomboanele de pom \u201eS\u0103rm\u0103lu\u0163e!\u201d \u015fi pup \u015fi-mi aduc aminte c\u0103 n-am sp\u0103lat ma\u015fina, fug la sp\u0103l\u0103torie, ne mai pl\u00e2ngem acolo \u00eentre b\u0103ie\u0163i , ne lu\u0103m c\u00e2te-un hot dog \u015fi vorbim, noi ne \u00een\u0163elegem u\u015for – \u201eN-ai frate ce s\u0103 le faci, asta e, dec\u00e2t s\u0103 le vezi triste m\u0103n\u00e2nci dreacu \u015fi-un rahat cu m\u0103tr\u0103gun\u0103, hai, la mul\u0163i ani!\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n