{"id":8777,"date":"2014-12-17T07:23:45","date_gmt":"2014-12-17T07:23:45","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/lorenalupu.wordpress.com\/?p=8777"},"modified":"2014-12-17T07:23:45","modified_gmt":"2014-12-17T07:23:45","slug":"karma-is-a-female-dog","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/karma-is-a-female-dog\/","title":{"rendered":"Karma is a female dog"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Asear\u0103, o prieten\u0103 a publicat un status de mi-am \u015fters lacrimile de r\u00e2s. Am implorat-o s\u0103 m\u0103 lase s\u0103 \u00eel public, c\u0103 mi s-a p\u0103rut mult prea bun pentru a se pierde la vale. Mi l-a dat, dar cu condi\u0163ia s\u0103 nu-i dau numele, c\u0103ci Goag\u0103l. OK, nu i-l dau, de\u015fi statusul merita un autor. Dar, na, Goag\u0103l.<\/p>\n<blockquote><p>Discu\u0163ie dintre Adrian \u015fi m\u0103-sa (doar azi mai pot s\u0103 zic &#8220;m\u0103-sa&#8221; c\u0103 poate de m\u00e2ine m\u0103 vede) \ud83d\ude42<br \/>\nEa dore\u015fte s\u0103 poat\u0103 comenta pe FB \u015fi s\u0103 r\u0103spund\u0103 la mesaje, cum fac TOATE colegele ei de la Clubul Pensionarilor sect. 1. \u015ei vrea ca fiul s\u0103-i explice toate tainele \u00een c\u00e2teva minute ACUM.<br \/>\nAdrian: Mam\u0103, mai \u0163ii minte c\u00e2nd \u00ee\u0163i spuneam c\u0103 TO\u0162I copiii din clas\u0103 au c\u0103ciuli ruse\u015fti din blan\u0103 \u015fi eu am din aia nasoal\u0103 tricotat\u0103 de tine?<br \/>\nM\u0103-sa: Da.<br \/>\nAdrian: \u015etii c\u0103-mi spuneai c\u0103 eu sunt deosebit \u015fi nu ca TO\u0162I copiii?  Ei bine, \u015fi tu e\u015fti acum \u00een aceea\u015fi situa\u0163ie. <\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p> \ud83d\ude08<br \/>\nS\u0103pt\u0103m\u00e2na trecut\u0103, autoarea Otilia \u0162ig\u0103na\u015f a dat una similar\u0103:<\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p>Jenu conduce, eu l\u00e2ng\u0103 \u0219ofer, nu \u201espate dreapta\u201d unde stau boierii, sun\u0103 mobilul meu. Cu un drum, o s\u0103 m\u0103 scuz fa\u021b\u0103 de to\u021bi care m\u0103 suna\u021bi c\u00e2nd sunt \u00een ma\u0219in\u0103, de obicei n-am ochelarii la \u00eendem\u00e2n\u0103, (c\u0103 nu eu conduc!), deci nu v\u0103d ce scrie pe afi\u0219aj \u0219i r\u0103spund f\u0103r\u0103 s\u0103 \u0219tiu cu cine voi vorbi. D-aia poate v\u0103 mai r\u0103spund sec, de\u0219i v-a\u021bi a\u0219tepta s\u0103 r\u0103spund cald. Este p\u00e2n\u0103 m\u0103 prind cu cine am de-a face. N-oi s\u0103ri cu pupicuri la to\u021bi necunoscu\u021bii! Bon. R\u0103spund sec. O voce masculin\u0103, ferm dar cu o und\u0103 de disperare.<br \/>\n&#8211; D\u0103-mi-o pe Alina!<br \/>\nCred c\u0103 aroma aceea de disperare mi-a a\u021b\u00e2\u021bat imagina\u021bia.<br \/>\n&#8211; Alina nu vrea s\u0103 vorbeasc\u0103 cu tine.<br \/>\n\u0218-o nimeresc PORCE\u0218TE!!!<br \/>\nEl:<br \/>\n&#8211; Te rog, te rog, spune-i s\u0103 m\u0103 asculte m\u0103car un minut!<br \/>\nEu:<br \/>\n&#8211; Uit\u0103 acest num\u0103r, \u0219terge-l din mobil, s\u0103 n-o mai suni niciodat\u0103! NICIODAT\u0102.<br \/>\n\u00cenchid. Dup\u0103 un minut, sun\u0103 din nou. Deja \u00een panic\u0103.<br \/>\n&#8211; Nu \u00eenchide! Te rog eu din suflet spune-i s\u0103 vin\u0103.<br \/>\nMar\u0219ez, curioas\u0103 p\u00e2n\u0103 unde imagina\u021bia mea se adevere\u0219te. Tatonez.<br \/>\n&#8211; Ascult\u0103, m\u0103 \u0219i mir c\u0103 ai tupeul s\u0103 suni aici!<br \/>\n&#8211; Dar TREBUIE s\u0103-i spun! N-am cum s\u0103 fug la voi, sunt departe, nu m\u0103 nenoroci.<br \/>\n&#8211; Ai ajuns la cap\u0103t. Nu mai este cale de \u00eentoarcere. Pricepe c\u0103 e gata.<br \/>\nJenucu, om milos, romantic, zice, dep\u0103\u0219ind o c\u0103ru\u021b\u0103:<br \/>\n&#8211; Nu fi nebun\u0103, m\u0103i, poate se sp\u00e2nzur\u0103 omu, zi-i c\u0103-i poant\u0103, termin\u0103!<br \/>\nEu nimic. R\u0103coresc toate Alinele care ar fi vrut s\u0103-i \u00eenchid\u0103-n nas telefonul, LUI, dar n-au avut v\u00e2na necesar\u0103.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>\ud83d\ude08<\/p>\n<p>  I have a weird fetish. I masturbate to karma police.<\/p>\n<p>\ud83d\ude08 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Asear\u0103, o prieten\u0103 a publicat un status de mi-am \u015fters lacrimile de r\u00e2s. Am implorat-o s\u0103 m\u0103 lase s\u0103 \u00eel public, c\u0103 mi s-a&#46;&#46;&#46;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-8777","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-spicy"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8777","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=8777"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8777\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=8777"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=8777"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=8777"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}