A\u0163i stat cu to\u0163ii \u00een chirie la babe, pe c\u00e2nd era\u0163i studen\u0163i. Mai pu\u0163in \u0103ia dintre voi cu p\u0103rin\u0163i boga\u0163i \u015fi darnici, care v\u0103 ofereau chirie de unii singuri. Ce aveau \u00een comun toate babele astea?<\/p>\n
Da, ok. Oric\u00e2t erai de obosit, ciufut, proasp\u0103t separat de iubirea vie\u0163ii tale, proasp\u0103t refuzat la un proiect, dac\u0103 ea te a\u015ftepta cu o paporni\u0163\u0103 \u015fi o list\u0103 care includea orez, ardei \u015fi m\u0103rar, trebuia s\u0103 cobori s\u0103 cumperi orez, ardei \u015fi m\u0103rar, preferabil pe banii t\u0103i, altfel auzeai toat\u0103 dup\u0103-amiaza cum se suna gratuit cu toate prietenele ei babe s\u0103-\u015fi povesteasc\u0103 ce chiria\u015f de c\u0103cat e\u015fti tu. Dar tare, s\u0103 auzi. \u015ei logic c\u0103 nu conta c\u0103 te dusese\u015fi de patru ori \u00een s\u0103pt\u0103m\u00e2na aia. Ideea c\u0103 nu te angajase de servitor, ci tu pl\u0103teai pentru a sta acolo \u00eei p\u0103trundea \u00een capul \u0103la de harpie abia dup\u0103 ce ie\u015feai tu tr\u00e2ntind u\u015fa \u015fi \u00eencepeai s\u0103 urli ceva de genul: “Care dintre noi pl\u0103te\u015fte pe care? Bun, atunci \u00een pula mea pot \u015fi eu s\u0103 dorm \u00een lini\u015fte?”, dup\u0103 care urmau alte 70 de telefoane la prietenele ei babe, dar \u00een \u015foapt\u0103 perfid\u0103 \u015fi veninoas\u0103.<\/p>\n
Pentru c\u0103 rasa uman\u0103 e de c\u0103cat.<\/p>\n
\u00cenchiz\u00e2nd paranteza, ce aveau \u00een comun babele din studen\u0163ia noastr\u0103 era faptul c\u0103 TOATE te cotrob\u0103iau \u00een lucruri c\u00e2nd erai plecat. S\u0103-\u0163i miroas\u0103 parfumurile, s\u0103 verifice dac\u0103 te droghezi, s\u0103 vad\u0103 c\u00e2\u0163i bani ai, s\u0103 vad\u0103 dac\u0103 \u0163ii prezervative \u015fi a\u015fa mai departe. A\u015fa mi-am cump\u0103rat eu vibrator. Am vrut s\u0103 dea tanti peste ceva mare \u015fi tare, dac\u0103 tot o m\u0103n\u00e2nc\u0103. \u015ei expresia de pe chipul ei, seara c\u00e2nd am ajuns acas\u0103, a fost PRICELESS. A\u015f face reclam\u0103 cu Mastercard pe tema asta. Cert e c\u0103 n-a zis nimic, dar pariez c\u0103 toate prietenele babe au analizat \u00eendelung ce \u015fi cum.<\/p>\n
La fel \u015fi Guvernul Rom\u00e2niei. Valabil\u0103 \u015fi partea c\u0103-\u0163i ia banii dar te slug\u0103re\u015fte de parc\u0103 el te-ar pl\u0103ti. Dar futerea asta de grij\u0103 legat\u0103 de ce ai tu pe calculator, supravegherea cibernetic\u0103, \u00eei m\u0103n\u00e2nc\u0103 \u00een fund de zici c\u0103-s to\u0163i pensionari voyeuri \u015fi libidino\u015fi. C\u00e2nd se va plictisi, orice c\u0103tan\u0103 de la Serviciile Secrete va putea privi cu mine capodopera cinematografic\u0103 “Latina fierbinte face g\u00e2t ad\u00e2nc”. \u015ei va compara preferin\u0163ele mele cu ale vecinului, care prefer\u0103 “Preotul n\u0103r\u0103va\u015f converte\u015fte trei m\u0103icu\u0163e”.<\/p>\n
Ce mi se pare inept e modul \u00een care se folosesc de incidentul Charlie Hebdo s\u0103 ne povesteasc\u0103 cum, musai, trebuie s\u0103 ne punem computerele \u015fi pozele cu penisurile goale ale iubi\u0163ilor no\u015ftri la dispozi\u0163ia lor.<\/p>\n
Ce leg\u0103tur\u0103 au calculatoarele unor l\u0103bari lini\u015fti\u0163i din Rom\u00e2nia cu caricaturile sfid\u0103toare la adresa lui Mahomed? Care e leg\u0103tura logic\u0103? De ce, pentru c\u0103 terori\u015fti ISIS, sau candida\u0163i pentru acest post, \u00eempu\u015fc\u0103 pe unii care fac glume pe care ei nu le gust\u0103, trebuie tu s\u0103 vezi cum m\u0103 \u00eenjur eu noaptea la ora 3 cu un hater pe Facebook?<\/p>\n
Hai s\u0103 mai c\u0103ut\u0103m \u015ftiri la fel de f\u0103r\u0103 leg\u0103tur\u0103, s\u0103 sus\u0163inem Guvernul \u00een incursiunea lui \u00eenspre absurd. Deschidem Yahoo Rom\u00e2nia. Zice a\u015fa:<\/p>\n
Daniel D\u0103ianu: C\u00e2t s\u0103 mai fie euro?<\/strong><\/p>\n Drag\u0103 Guvern, trebuie musai s\u0103 ne controlezi calculatoarele. C\u0103 tot ce cump\u0103r\u0103m noi pe iTunes \u015fi pe Amazon scade paritatea leu – euro. Eventual s\u0103 ne \u015fi limitezi: peste un anumit num\u0103r de articole, omul s\u0103 nu poat\u0103 cump\u0103ra. P\u0103i chiar a\u015fa, aliment\u0103m internautic infla\u0163ia?<\/p>\n Tupeu de student cu tax\u0103 la examen: Dac\u0103 n-ar fi \u0103\u015ftia ca mine, nu v-a\u0163i lua salariile.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n Drag\u0103 Guvern, trebuie musai s\u0103 ne controlezi calculatoarele. Se \u015ftie, tupeul la examene se alimenteaz\u0103 online, via iTupeu sau ocazional pe tupeu.org. F\u0103r\u0103 o atent\u0103 monitorizare, risc\u0103m s\u0103 nu ne mai respecte studen\u0163ii.<\/p>\n Femeile sub 30 de ani \u00ee\u015fi \u00een\u015fal\u0103 b\u0103rba\u0163ii \u00een vacan\u0163e\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n Drag\u0103 Guvern, trebuie musai s\u0103 ne monitorizezi calculatoarele. E inadmisibil, nesim\u0163itele, s\u0103 nu-\u015fi \u00een\u015fele b\u0103rba\u0163ii 11 luni din 12. Musai implementeaz\u0103 ni\u015fte fi\u015fiere cu instruc\u0163iuni de adulter.<\/p>\n Cod galben de ninsori \u015fi v\u00e2nt \u00een 22 de jude\u0163e.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n Drag\u0103 Guvern, trebuie musai s\u0103 ne monitorizezi calculatoarele. Poate avem intensitatea culorilor setat\u0103 gre\u015fit, vedem cod verde, credem c-a venit prim\u0103vara, ne \u00eembr\u0103c\u0103m sub\u0163ire \u015fi murim de ftizie.<\/p>\n Cinci teorii ale conspira\u0163iei care s-au dovedit adev\u0103rate.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n Well. Mai e nevoie de vreun argument?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" A\u0163i stat cu to\u0163ii \u00een chirie la babe, pe c\u00e2nd era\u0163i studen\u0163i. Mai pu\u0163in \u0103ia dintre voi cu p\u0103rin\u0163i boga\u0163i \u015fi darnici, care v\u0103...<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-8820","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-spicy"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8820","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=8820"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8820\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=8820"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=8820"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=8820"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}