Prima oar\u0103 c\u00e2nd am v\u0103zut \u00een libr\u0103rie aceast\u0103 carte, am avut o reac\u0163ie stereotip\u0103 de gospodin\u0103 b\u0103\u015fit\u0103. “Vaaai, ce titlu!” Apoi mi-am amintit de tonele de gospodine b\u0103\u015fite care mi-au f\u0103cut mie observa\u0163ie c\u0103 toate pulele din ogorul \u0163\u0103ranului lui Creang\u0103 s-au mutat la mine pe tarla, mi-am ars doi pumni pe interior \u015fi, ca s\u0103 m\u0103 penalizez pentru “bias” (na, oric\u00e2t ai fi de democratic \u00een g\u00e2ndire, uneori \u00ee\u0163i scap\u0103), am cump\u0103rat-o. “Suge-o, Ramona”. Romanul erotic al stand-up comedianului Andrei Ciobanu. <\/p>\n
\u015ei bine am f\u0103cut. <\/p>\n
Am luat cartea \u015fi am aspirat-o ca pe ultima suflare. <\/p>\n
A\u015f vrea s\u0103 \u00eencep prin a puncta o eviden\u0163\u0103. Pula \u015ftie carte. Babal\u00e2cii care v-o rosteau autosuficient \u015fi infatuat pe aia cu “pula nu \u015ftie carte” futeau doar \u00een pozi\u0163ia misionarului, habar nu aveau ce-i \u0103la clitoris, ejaculau din patru penetr\u0103ri \u015fi-\u015fi l\u0103sau nevasta gravid\u0103 o dat\u0103 pe an. E nevoie de inteligen\u0163\u0103, empatie, subtilitate, abilitate de conectare \u015fi de anticipare \u015fi de un mare rafinament pentru sex de calitate. E nevoie de toate aceste atribute pentru a transforma pula \u00eentr-o baghet\u0103 magic\u0103, iar actul sexual \u00eentr-o capodoper\u0103 a sim\u0163urilor. <\/p>\n
Iar autorul Andrei Ciobanu le are pe toate acestea. <\/p>\n
Ignora\u0163i bullshitul “1.000.000 de cititori online”. C\u00e2nd am plecat eu de pe vechiul blog, aveam un total contorizat de 3.000.000 de unici. Bine, dac\u0103 m\u0103 citeai tu din Green Hours, din Mc Donalds Roman\u0103 \u015fi din La Pl\u0103cinte, cu netul locului, deja erai 3 unici. Puteam pune lejer pe Dona Juana “3.000.000 de cititori online”. Dar exist\u0103 Dumnezeu \u015fi ne vede. <\/p>\n
Partea bun\u0103 e c\u0103 aceast\u0103 carte nu are nevoie de genul \u0103sta de vr\u0103jeli expirate, pentru c\u0103 este o poveste at\u00e2t de sensibil\u0103, at\u00e2t de emo\u0163ionant\u0103, at\u00e2t de sf\u00e2\u015fietoare, at\u00e2t de onest spus\u0103, cu toate victoriile infantile de moment \u015fi toate marile mui, tot de moment, \u00eenc\u00e2t st\u0103 perfect \u00een picioare ca oper\u0103 literar\u0103. Dar ca oper\u0103 literar\u0103 ne\u00eenso\u0163it\u0103 de l\u0103b\u0103reli de-astea n-a\u0163i cump\u0103ra-o voi, c\u0103 sunte\u0163i oi consumeriste manipulabile. <\/p>\n
(Aud cumva ofuscatul de serviciu: “Oaie consumerist\u0103 manipulabil\u0103 e\u015fti tu cu m\u0103-ta.”? S\u0103 fie primit. Ba m\u0103-ta. Taci \u015fi las\u0103-m\u0103 s\u0103 zic.) <\/p>\n
“Suge-o, Ramona!” e povestea unei iubiri timorate \u015fi nesigure, blocate \u00een dorin\u0163e, neputin\u0163e, ezit\u0103ri \u015fi ghinioane, de adolescent crescut \u00een cultura \u00eembibat\u0103 de pornografie a zilelor noastre. De ce s-o sug\u0103 Ramona? Pentru c\u0103 refuzul ei doare, traumatizeaz\u0103, o\u0163ele\u015fte, formeaz\u0103 caracter, construie\u015fte coloan\u0103 vertebral\u0103, maturizeaz\u0103. Refuzul Ramonei e ca armata pe vremuri. Face b\u0103rbat din tine. <\/p>\n
Pe l\u00e2ng\u0103 contemporaneitatea vie, necosmetizat\u0103, care te face s\u0103 tr\u0103ie\u015fti cartea ca \u015fi cum \u0163i s-ar \u00eent\u00e2mpla \u0163ie \u00een secunda aia, pe l\u00e2ng\u0103 arta narativ\u0103 incredibil\u0103, care transform\u0103 argoul \u00een simfonie, pe l\u00e2ng\u0103 sexul fabulos descris \u015fi umilin\u0163ele adolescentine demne de un Salinger, cartea propune ni\u015fte portrete feminine cum rar am \u00eent\u00e2lnit la un autor masculin. De obicei, b\u0103rba\u0163ii nu-s cu adev\u0103rat aten\u0163i la femei \u015fi-\u015fi rateaz\u0103 personajele feminine \u00eentr-un mare fel. Tind s\u0103 le \u00eenlocuiasc\u0103 cu propriile lor scheme despre femei, \u015fi le ies, a\u0163i ghicit, ni\u015fte scheme. <\/p>\n
Pe scurt, nu pot spune despre aceast\u0103 carte dec\u00e2t at\u00e2t: <\/p>\n
“Suge-o, Internet!” <\/p>\n
Avem o literatur\u0103 erotic\u0103 mai bun\u0103 dec\u00e2t multe alte na\u0163iuni europene. P\u0103cat c\u0103 \u00een loc s-o apreciem, st\u0103m s\u0103-i \u00eenjur\u0103m pe scriitori c\u0103 nu scriu ca Sadoveanu. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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