{"id":9383,"date":"2015-05-08T10:28:54","date_gmt":"2015-05-08T10:28:54","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/?p=9383"},"modified":"2015-05-08T10:32:32","modified_gmt":"2015-05-08T10:32:32","slug":"posta-vesela-a-redactiei","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/posta-vesela-a-redactiei\/","title":{"rendered":"Po\u015fta vesel\u0103 a redac\u0163iei"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>(Anticipez reac\u0163iile de la suflete miloase care joac\u0103 mereu rolul de Avocatul Prostului: &#8220;Vaaai, Lorena, dar cum publici mesaje private?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Simplu, vreau s\u0103-mi mearg\u0103 buhul c\u0103 public mesaje private de genul \u0103sta \u015fi s\u0103 nu mi le mai trimit\u0103 nimeni. E pe principiul vaccinului. Tratezi bacteria cu ea \u00eens\u0103\u015fi.)<\/p>\n<p>A\u015fadar, mesajul haios: <img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-9384\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/05\/labar.jpg?resize=700%2C213\" alt=\"labar\" width=\"700\" height=\"213\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/05\/labar.jpg?w=715&amp;ssl=1 715w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/05\/labar.jpg?resize=150%2C46&amp;ssl=1 150w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/05\/labar.jpg?resize=300%2C91&amp;ssl=1 300w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 700px) 100vw, 700px\" \/><\/p>\n<p>Not\u0103: am l\u0103sat \u015fi reclama cu herpesul, c\u0103 se completau perfect. Karma e z\u00e2na ironiei.<\/p>\n<p>\u015ei acum, s\u0103 r\u0103spundem onoratului cititor:<\/p>\n<p>Domnule,<\/p>\n<p>V\u0103 mul\u0163umim pentru \u00een\u0163eleptele cuvinte. Dup\u0103 cum corect a\u0163i ghicit, orice scriitor se apuc\u0103 de scris \u015fi orice artist se apuc\u0103 de creat spectacole pentru ca respectivele c\u0103r\u0163i s\u0103 NU fie citite, iar respectivele spectacole s\u0103 NU fie privite. Visul artistului \u00een genere e un retur de la libr\u0103rii \u015fi o sal\u0103 goal\u0103. Nimic nu recompenseaz\u0103 acele luni de stat \u00een sala de repeti\u0163ie sau de zbucium \u00een timpul unui blocaj creativ ca un mesaj care spune &#8220;nu m\u0103 intereseaz\u0103 ce scrii \u015fi joci, eu te-a\u015f fute&#8221;.<\/p>\n<p>Totodat\u0103, \u0103sta e exact genul de mesaj care pune femeile pe foc instant. Wow. Vorba unui alt maestru al abord\u0103rii inteligente, cu stil, a femeilor, exact ca dvs.:<\/p>\n<div class=\"video-container\"><span class=\"embed-youtube\" style=\"text-align:center; display: block;\"><iframe loading=\"lazy\" class=\"youtube-player\" width=\"700\" height=\"394\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/qqXi8WmQ_WM?version=3&#038;rel=1&#038;showsearch=0&#038;showinfo=1&#038;iv_load_policy=1&#038;fs=1&#038;hl=en-US&#038;autohide=2&#038;wmode=transparent\" allowfullscreen=\"true\" style=\"border:0;\" sandbox=\"allow-scripts allow-same-origin allow-popups allow-presentation allow-popups-to-escape-sandbox\"><\/iframe><\/span><\/div>\n<p>Nimic nu e mai excitant dec\u00e2t un ins care-\u0163i transmite mesajul c\u0103 e\u015fti prelungirea inutil\u0103 a unei g\u0103uri umede. M\u0103 rog, partea cu gaura umed\u0103 e SF. Singura gaur\u0103 umed\u0103 pe care o \u00eent\u00e2lni\u0163i cu genul \u0103sta de punere a problemei e cea din v\u00e2rful PET-ului de bere.<\/p>\n<p>Nu \u00een ultimul r\u00e2nd, prezum\u0163ia c\u0103 toate artistele fac spectacole pentru ca tu s\u0103 urmezi pasul (pretextual, desigur) al cump\u0103r\u0103rii unui bilet, iar dup\u0103 aia s\u0103 &#8220;visezi mai departe&#8221; e de o delicate\u0163e care \u00eemi g\u00e2dil\u0103 baierele inimii. Wow. \u015ei doamna Angela Merkel s-a f\u0103cut cancelar tot a\u015fa, ca tu s\u0103 votezi pentru ea, \u015fi apoi eventual s\u0103 vrei s-o fu\u0163i pentru c\u0103 ai votat-o. Dar eu \u00eemi \u015ftiu lungul nasului, a\u015fa c\u0103 te a\u015ftept aici, flutur\u00e2nd cu batista alb\u0103-n m\u00e2n\u0103, p\u00e2n\u0103 o rezolvi pe Angela Merkel. \u015ei pe doamna Mirabela Dauer, c\u0103 \u015fi ea are spectacole, tot cu bilete, deci prezum\u0163ia ta e valabil\u0103 \u015fi acolo. \u015ei pe doamna Dorina Laz\u0103r. Genera\u0163ia de Aur are prioritate!<\/p>\n<p>\u015ei, logic, visul oric\u0103rei artiste e un <del datetime=\"2015-05-08T09:52:25+00:00\">bou<\/del>, scuza\u0163i, un ilustru domn care s\u0103 presupun\u0103 c\u0103 ele nu \u015ftiu ce e iubirea \u015fi c\u0103 nevoia lor de a iubi se limiteaz\u0103 la rata\u0163i de pe net care \u00eencep prin a-\u0163i spune c\u0103:<\/p>\n<div class=\"video-container\"><span class=\"embed-youtube\" style=\"text-align:center; display: block;\"><iframe loading=\"lazy\" class=\"youtube-player\" width=\"700\" height=\"394\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/qqXi8WmQ_WM?version=3&#038;rel=1&#038;showsearch=0&#038;showinfo=1&#038;iv_load_policy=1&#038;fs=1&#038;hl=en-US&#038;autohide=2&#038;wmode=transparent\" allowfullscreen=\"true\" style=\"border:0;\" sandbox=\"allow-scripts allow-same-origin allow-popups allow-presentation allow-popups-to-escape-sandbox\"><\/iframe><\/span><\/div>\n<p>Apreciez c\u0103 m-a\u0163i citit ca pe o carte deschis\u0103. V\u0103leu, ierta\u0163i aluzia obraznic\u0103 la citit. Din p\u0103cate, n-a\u0163i citit \u015fi finalul. Iar finalul e a\u015fa:<\/p>\n<p>Parc. P\u0103s\u0103rele ciripind. Un v\u00e2nticel adie \u015fturlubatic, ridic\u00e2nd discret fustele doamnelor, dar nu mai sus de genunchi. Un b\u0103tr\u00e2n violonist c\u00e2nt\u0103 cu vioara \u00een col\u0163 &#8220;Zaraza&#8221;, trec\u0103torii \u00eei las\u0103 monede \u00een p\u0103l\u0103rie. Lacul clipoce\u015fte. \u015ei de nic\u0103ieri, o voce:<\/p>\n<p>MAR\u015e M\u0102, \u00ceN MOR\u0162II M\u0102-TII, DE LABAGIU RATAT, \u00ceNAPOI PE PORNHUB!<\/p>\n<p>(\u015fi da, poza de \u00eenso\u0163ire a acestui text e coperta c\u0103r\u0163ii mele. \u0102la e subiectul cu care s\u0103 m\u0103 deranjezi, dac\u0103 tot \u00eemi dai mesaj privat, nu tentative jalnice de ag\u0103\u0163at, care n-ar func\u0163iona nici la Veta de la \u0163ar\u0103.)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>(Anticipez reac\u0163iile de la suflete miloase care joac\u0103 mereu rolul de Avocatul Prostului: &#8220;Vaaai, Lorena, dar cum publici mesaje private?&#8221; Simplu, vreau s\u0103-mi mearg\u0103&#46;&#46;&#46;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":8998,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[12],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-9383","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-bitter"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/03\/pis.jpg?fit=960%2C960&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9383","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=9383"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9383\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":9386,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9383\/revisions\/9386"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/8998"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=9383"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=9383"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=9383"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}