\u00cen ultima vreme, pe categoria popt\u0103m\u0103\u015fisme retardate, circul\u0103 o gr\u0103mad\u0103 de de-alea cu b\u0103iatul care d\u0103 fetei ursule\u0163ul, dar fata voia \u00eentre\u0163inerea pl\u0103tit\u0103, \u015fi arunc\u0103 ursule\u0163ul \u00een drum. Tipul sare dup\u0103 ursule\u0163 \u015fi-l calc\u0103 ma\u015fina (\u015fil kalk ma\u015fina, dac\u0103 e s\u0103 p\u0103str\u0103m redactarea aferent\u0103 acestor retarzenii) \u015fi pe buzele lui muribunde se aude o ultim\u0103 \u015foapt\u0103: “\u00cen ursule\u0163 era chitan\u0163a, t\u00e2rf\u0103!!” \u015ei fata: “Mor\u0163ii m\u0103-tii, printre care te numeri \u015fi tu acum, nu puteai pur \u015fi simplu s\u0103 mi-o pui \u00een palm\u0103? Chitan\u0163a, vreau s\u0103 zic?” <\/p>\n
O fat\u0103 \u00eel \u00eentreab\u0103 pe un b\u0103iat: “M\u0103 iube\u015fti”. El: “Nu.” Ea se arunc\u0103 de pe bloc. Pe la etajul \u015fase \u00eel aude strig\u00e2nd: “Nu te iubesc, te ador, f\u0103, co\u0163oh\u00e2rl\u0103” \u015fi ofteaz\u0103 “Sim\u0163ul masculin al umorului te uci… jbang”. <\/p>\n
Iar eu am o singur\u0103 nedumerire. \u00cen\u0163eleg nevoia prostului de a ilustra dragostea ca la gr\u0103dini\u0163\u0103. Dar de ce trebuie musai s\u0103 moar\u0103 unul dintre combatan\u0163i? Neap\u0103rat s\u0103 moar\u0103? Nu poate avea doar o c\u0103dere de calciu sau ceva? \u015ei aia e nasoal\u0103, v\u0103 jur. <\/p>\n
O fat\u0103 o \u00eentreab\u0103 pe iubita ei (da, hai s\u0103 facem un cuplu gay, s\u0103 mai altern\u0103m situa\u0163iile de via\u0163\u0103): “Par gras\u0103?” “Da” r\u0103spunde iubita ei.
\nFata face c\u0103dere de calciu \u015fi e dus\u0103 la urgen\u0163\u0103. Cu guri\u0163a-i pal\u0103, murmur\u0103: “Dar s\u0103 \u015ftii c\u0103 te-am iubit”.
\nLa care iubita: “OK, eu voiam s\u0103 spun c\u0103 fiecare kilogram \u00een plus de tine \u00eenseamn\u0103 mai mult\u0103 dragoste pe p\u0103m\u00e2nt”. <\/p>\n
Dak n-u tea \u00eenduio\u015fat, aprinde o lum\u00e2nare \u00een lokul umbros unde a-i avut inima o dat\u0103. Shi da share la kinki pryeteny, s\u0103 ai n0r0k. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
\u00cen ultima vreme, pe categoria popt\u0103m\u0103\u015fisme retardate, circul\u0103 o gr\u0103mad\u0103 de de-alea cu b\u0103iatul care d\u0103 fetei ursule\u0163ul, dar fata voia \u00eentre\u0163inerea pl\u0103tit\u0103, \u015fi...<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":9542,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-9541","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-spicy"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/06\/necro.jpg?fit=510%2C738&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9541","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=9541"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9541\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":9543,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9541\/revisions\/9543"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/9542"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=9541"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=9541"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=9541"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}