La prima, pl\u00e2ngi de sare c\u0103ma\u015fa pe tine \u015fi te \u00eenfiori la g\u00e2ndul c\u0103 un om s-ar sim\u0163i mai fericit s\u0103 \u015ftie c\u0103 ai intrat \u00een nefiin\u0163\u0103 \u015fi acolo unde respirai tu nu mai e dec\u00e2t carne vine\u0163ie \u015fi s\u00e2nge \u00eenchegat. <\/p>\n
La a doua, pl\u00e2ngi numai jum\u0103tate de pachet de \u015ferve\u0163ele, c\u0103 tocmai ie\u0219eai pe u\u0219\u0103, plecai \u00eentr-o excursie \u015fi poate d\u0103dea peste tine \u015fi un pipi neanun\u0163at. <\/p>\n
\u00centre trei \u015fi zece, pl\u00e2ngi numai jum\u0103tate de \u015ferve\u0163el, c\u0103 n-au de ce s\u0103 moar\u0103 copaci pentru idio\u0163i de pe net. <\/p>\n
De la zece \u00een sus:
\nGigel cretin: \u015etiu unde stai, f\u0103!
\nTu: Z\u0103u? Uite, sunt \u00eentr-o c\u00e2rcium\u0103, beat\u0103 muci, \u015fi mi-ar prinde bine s\u0103-mi spui unde stau.
\nGigel cretin: O s\u0103 vezi c\u0103 o s\u0103 bag cu\u0163itul \u00een tine. \/ O s\u0103 te \u00eempu\u015fc \/ O s\u0103 te omor \/ O s\u0103 etc.
\nTu: P\u0103i omul mort nu vede, Gigel cretin. Nu te mai paradoxa (sau paradoxi?) la mine, c\u0103 m\u0103 emo\u0163ionez, \u015fi eu c\u00e2nd m\u0103 emo\u0163ionez m\u0103 taie pipi.
\nGigel cretin: S\u0103 nu m\u0103 pi\u015f eu pe tine!
\nTu: Moart\u0103 sau vie? Nu de alta dar necro-urofilia e un p\u0103cat ceva mai complex dec\u00e2t sodomia pentru care voiai s\u0103 m\u0103 omori. Opa, stai, omori. Gigele, s\u0103 faci p\u0103cate \u00een numele lui Dumnezeu e ca \u015fi cum ai flutura pula goal\u0103 cu sloganul: “\u00cembr\u0103ca\u0163i-v\u0103, m\u0103!”
\nGigel cretin: Curvo, muisto, numa la pul\u0103 te g\u00e2nde\u015fti, te omor.
\nTu: Voiai s\u0103 spui “curva dracului”, dac\u0103 \u015ftii bancul. C\u0103 nu e\u015fti inclus.
\nGigel cretin: Meri\u0163i s\u0103 mori.
\nTu: Hai c\u0103 e\u015fti redundant. Block. <\/p>\n
\u015ei \u00een fix zece secunde, alt cont de Facebook:
\nCredeai c\u0103 scapi de mine, f\u0103? Te omor. Te… (Block.) <\/p>\n
O fi boala mare, dar nu te pune cu capacitatea mea de a da sictir. Abia aia e infinit\u0103. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
La prima, pl\u00e2ngi de sare c\u0103ma\u015fa pe tine \u015fi te \u00eenfiori la g\u00e2ndul c\u0103 un om s-ar sim\u0163i mai fericit s\u0103 \u015ftie c\u0103 ai...<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":9587,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-9586","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-spicy"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/06\/Blood-Drop.jpg?fit=758%2C800&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9586","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=9586"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9586\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":12841,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9586\/revisions\/12841"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/9587"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=9586"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=9586"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=9586"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}