Gigel voia foarte tare s\u0103-l iubeasc\u0103 \u015fi s\u0103-l admire oamenii. Dar neap\u0103rat cu temenele, ova\u0163ii, pupat \u00een fund, strig\u0103te la poart\u0103.
\nDar ce f\u0103cea Gigel at\u00e2t de excep\u0163ional \u00eenc\u00e2t s\u0103 merite iubirea \u015fi adora\u0163ia oamenilor, ve\u0163i \u00eentreba voi. R\u0103spuns: nimic. St\u0103tea toat\u0103 ziua pe net, mai juca un joc online, mai trola un blog, mai vedea un episod din C\u0103care \u015fi parfum, serialul lui preferat de ultra comedie cu inteligen\u0163i \u015fi mai posta pe Facebook ceva despre cum ploaia e ur\u00e2t\u0103 \u015fi soarele e frumos. <\/p>\n
Numai c\u0103 m\u0103-sa \u00eel iubea pe Gigel foarte tare, \u015fi-i g\u0103tea mereu m\u00e2nc\u0103rurile preferate, f\u0103r\u0103 ca Gigel s\u0103 fac\u0103 nimic pentru asta. De aici, Gigel tr\u0103sese concluzia c\u0103 admira\u0163ia \u015fi iubirea oamenilor e ceva ce \u0163i se cuvine de la sine, pentru simplul fapt c\u0103 exi\u015fti. <\/p>\n
\u00centr-o bun\u0103 zi, Gigel a decis s\u0103-\u015fi fac\u0103 fanclub. Dac\u0103 Michael Jackson a putut, el de ce nu? Nici m\u0103car nu era acuzat de corupere de minori sau ceva, ca \u0103la, \u015fi \u0103la avea fanclub pe tot mapamondul. De ce s\u0103 nu aib\u0103 \u015fi Gigel fani, m\u0103car \u00een Rom\u00e2nia, c\u0103 alt\u0103 limb\u0103 nu \u015ftia, \u015fi e dificil s\u0103 nu pricepi “Why the fuck have you added me to this group, who the mother fucking shit are you”, ceea ce probabil \u00eensemna “m\u0103 bucur s\u0103 fiu fanul t\u0103u” \u00een uzbekistanez\u0103. <\/p>\n
Din p\u0103cate, to\u0163i fanii pe care \u00eei ad\u0103uga Gigel d\u0103deau “leave group”.
\n-\u015ei eu credeam c\u0103-mi sunte\u0163i prieteni! d\u0103dea mesaje private.
\n-Da’ cine c\u0103cat e\u015fti tu, m\u0103? Mi-ai dat cerere de prietenie acum trei s\u0103pt\u0103m\u00e2ni \u015fi m-ai plictisit trei ore cu via\u0163a ta sexual\u0103 imaginar\u0103! Asta nu e prietenie, asta e timpul meu irosit \u00eentr-o noapte \u00een care nu mergea nimic mi\u015fto la TV, i-a r\u0103spuns o fost\u0103 prieten\u0103 de Facebook.
\n-Voi, femeile, sunte\u0163i toate curve oricum. <\/p>\n
\u00cen cele din urm\u0103, \u00een fanclub au r\u0103mas patru persoane. <\/p>\n
Maic\u0103-sa, Vasile P\u00e2rjol – un cont de-al lui fake, de pe care \u00ee\u015fi d\u0103dea likeuri reciproce, s\u0103 nu par\u0103 complet nepopular, Rashid ben Ismail, un arab care-l tot pis\u0103logea cu “Send pic with dic” \u015fi vecina lui Ani\u015foara. Dar, spre sear\u0103, Ani\u015foara i-a dat mesaj privat.
\n-Auzi, b\u0103, pul\u0103? Dac\u0103 vrei s\u0103 nu-\u0163i ies din fanclub, vreau s\u0103-mi votezi poza de la concursul “Po\u0163-i devenii fotomodel” \u015fi s\u0103-mi iei un ruj d-\u0103la cu reflexe 3D, la 130 de lei.
\n-Dar n-am bani.
\n-Bine. Atunci dau leave group.
\n-Nuuu, nu da leave group!! \u00cei cer acum bani lu’ mama. Ce s-o mint, pentru ce-mi trebuie?
\n-Pentru implant de testicule, m\u0103. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Gigel voia foarte tare s\u0103-l iubeasc\u0103 \u015fi s\u0103-l admire oamenii. Dar neap\u0103rat cu temenele, ova\u0163ii, pupat \u00een fund, strig\u0103te la poart\u0103. Dar ce f\u0103cea...<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":9737,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-9736","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-spicy"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/08\/11742775_1076631079014507_5620622535461927677_n.jpg?fit=479%2C395&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9736","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=9736"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9736\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":9739,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9736\/revisions\/9739"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/9737"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=9736"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=9736"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=9736"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}