Partea frumoas\u0103 a lui Facebook e c\u0103 po\u0163i s\u0103-\u0163i promovezi munca, proiectele, po\u0163i ajunge la cititor-spectator, po\u0163i atinge oameni care au nevoie s\u0103 aud\u0103 ce ai tu de povestit, fie pentru c\u0103 trec prin momente similare \u015fi-i r\u0103core\u015fti, fie c\u0103 au o zi grea \u015fi-i faci s\u0103 r\u00e2d\u0103. <\/p>\n
Partea ur\u00e2t\u0103 a lui Facebook sunt cronofagii. Adic\u0103 acei indivizi care, hodoronc-tronc, se proptesc \u00een mesageria ta privat\u0103, de parc\u0103 simplul fapt c\u0103 e\u015fti scriitor te oblig\u0103 s\u0103 \u00eentre\u0163ii one-on-one-uri cu ei c\u00e2nd li se scoal\u0103 lor. <\/p>\n
Dar, oric\u00e2t de divers \u015fi pestri\u0163 este internetul, putem \u00eemp\u0103r\u0163i cronofagii \u00een c\u00e2teva categorii. Fixe \u015fi bine b\u0103tute \u00een cuie: <\/p>\n
A) Cronofagul hater. <\/strong><\/p>\n “Ce, f\u0103, te crezi C\u0103rt\u0103rescu? Las\u0103-te de scris. Mai e\u015fti \u015fi ur\u00e2t\u0103 cu spume, cu muianul \u0103la de maimu\u0163\u0103 trepanat\u0103 \u015fi ochii c\u00e2t trei sferturi din fa\u0163\u0103!” <\/p>\n Cronofagul hater e \u015fomerul cu care nu se culc\u0103 nimeni, pentru c\u0103 foamea \u015fi zg\u00e2rcenia sunt nesexy. \u015ei atunci, \u015ftiind c\u0103 femeile \u00eel ur\u0103sc, trateaz\u0103 problema \u00een unicul mod care nu presupune munc\u0103: le ur\u0103\u015fte el primul. <\/p>\n Cum \u00ee\u0163i salvezi timpul? <\/strong><\/p>\n Block instant. Sau, dac\u0103 vii cu ni\u015fte nervi din alt\u0103 parte, \u0163i-i descarci pe cronofag \u00eentr-o jum\u0103tate de or\u0103 de \u00eenjurat cu multe subordonate. De obicei, la final scheaun\u0103 ca un c\u0103\u0163el smuls de la \u0163\u00e2\u0163\u0103. <\/p>\n Cronofagul ling\u0103u<\/strong><\/p>\n “Ce bine scrii… Dar ce la obiect e tot ce scrii… Dar ce…” <\/p>\n Cronofagul ling\u0103u e tipul care crede c\u0103, exact cum punctele bonus pe anumite siteuri de shopping se transform\u0103 \u00een cump\u0103r\u0103turi de la 50 \u00een sus, \u015fi complimentele se transform\u0103 \u00een sex de la 50 \u00een sus. Sorry. Nu. <\/p>\n Cum \u00ee\u0163i salvezi timpul?<\/strong><\/p>\n Exist\u0103 un mod de a ar\u0103ta apreciere f\u0103r\u0103 s\u0103-mi violezi anal timpul \u015fi \u0103la e butonul de Donate vizibil \u00een sidebar. Crede-m\u0103, \u00een secunda \u00een care v\u0103d \u00een cont c\u0103 X mi-a donat Y, \u015ftiu sigur c\u0103 m\u0103 apreciaz\u0103. Sau, dac\u0103 cronofagul ling\u0103u, persist\u0103, i-o retezi: OK, am \u00een\u0163eles, s-a notat, mul\u0163umesc. Cronofagul paranoic.<\/strong><\/p>\n \u0102sta crede c\u0103 blogul t\u0103u e despre el. \u015ei \u00eencepe s\u0103-\u0163i debiteze privat p\u0103rerea lui despre ce ai scris. C\u00e2nd \u00eel informezi c\u0103 exist\u0103 sec\u0163iune de comentarii, face criz\u0103 de isterie. Cum s\u0103 comenteze cot la cot cu plebea? Uite a\u015fa, cu tastatura. E insul care cere tratament preferen\u0163ial, f\u0103r\u0103 s\u0103 ofere nimic care s\u0103 justifice asta. <\/p>\n Cum \u00ee\u0163i salvezi timpul?<\/strong><\/p>\n Insi\u015fti s\u0103-l redirec\u0163ionezi spre sec\u0163iunea comentarii, iar dac\u0103 nu \u015fi nu, block. <\/p>\n Cronofagul cultural.<\/strong><\/p>\n \u0102sta \u00eencepe s\u0103-\u0163i fac\u0103 capul calendar cu o gr\u0103mad\u0103 de informa\u0163ie care nu te intereseaz\u0103 \u015fi, \u00een plus, \u00een caz c\u0103 te va interesa vreodat\u0103, e gug\u0103libil\u0103 toat\u0103. Are impresia c\u0103, d\u00e2ndu-i accept la add, te-ai \u00eenscris la \u015fcoala de cultur\u0103 general\u0103 “Gigel Drul\u0103”. <\/p>\n Cum \u00ee\u0163i salvezi timpul?<\/strong><\/p>\n Ignor\u00e2ndu-l. Nu e nimic ofensator \u00een ce scrie \u015fi cine \u015ftie c\u00e2nd ai nevoie de informa\u0163iile alea. Las\u0103, s\u0103 fie acolo. <\/p>\n Cronofagul sociabil<\/strong><\/p>\n “Ce faci? Ai chef s\u0103 convers\u0103m? Vrei s\u0103 pove? Heeey! Ce mai zici?” <\/p>\n Zic s\u0103 conversezi cu m\u0103-ta. <\/p>\n Cum \u00ee\u0163i salvezi timpul?<\/strong><\/p>\n Scuze, dac\u0103 vrei info despre c\u0103r\u0163ile \u015fi spectacolele mele, \u00ee\u0163i stau la dispozi\u0163ie. N-am deschis \u00eenc\u0103 serviciu de conversa\u0163ie pentru singuratici. Dac\u0103 \u00eel deschid, te voi notifica \u00een timp util. <\/p>\n Cronofagul \u00eenl\u0103crimat.<\/strong><\/p>\n \u0102sta e om cu probleme \u015fi vrea neap\u0103rat s\u0103-\u0163i smulg\u0103 um\u0103r de bocit, \u00een speran\u0163a c\u0103 poate pip\u0103ie \u015fi ni\u015fte \u0163\u00e2\u0163\u0103, c\u0103 tot e \u00een vecini. \u015ei \u00eencepe s\u0103 \u0163i se vaiete lung \u015fi nehazliu despre ce-l chinuie la momentul \u0103la. F\u0103r\u0103 s\u0103 fac\u0103 ceva s\u0103 rezolve ce-l chinuie la momentul \u0103la. <\/p>\n Cum \u00ee\u0163i salvezi timpul?<\/strong><\/p>\n Fr\u0103\u0163ic\u0103, sunt at\u00e2\u0163ia psihologi \u015fomeri \u00een \u0163ara asta. Nu mai bine dai o p\u00e2ine unuia dintre ei dec\u00e2t s\u0103-mi ucizi mie un germen de roman din minte prin frecare cotropitoare la icre? <\/p>\n Voi ce cronofagi a\u0163i mai \u00eent\u00e2lnit? <\/p>\n LATER EDIT: <\/p>\n Era s\u0103 uit cel mai enervant cronofag. Cronofagul care ar merita sufocat cu propriul penis, dac\u0103 e mascul, \u015fi cu penisul celui mai mare du\u015fman dac\u0103 e femel\u0103. Cronofagul persistent. <\/p>\n Cum se manifest\u0103: Alo?? Hei! M\u0103 urm\u0103re\u015fti?? E\u015fti?? E\u015fti atent?? <\/p>\n Deci, nu doar c\u0103 trebuie s\u0103-i supor\u0163i limbari\u0163a, dar e\u015fti obligat s\u0103 o faci \u00een timp real. S\u0103 nu dea dracu’ s\u0103-\u0163i fug\u0103 ochii. S\u0103 nu dea dracu’ s\u0103 faci \u00een paralel ceva \u015fi pentru tine. <\/p>\n Cum \u00ee\u0163i salvezi timpul?<\/strong><\/p>\n Am un singur cuv\u00e2nt. CRIM\u0102. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Partea frumoas\u0103 a lui Facebook e c\u0103 po\u0163i s\u0103-\u0163i promovezi munca, proiectele, po\u0163i ajunge la cititor-spectator, po\u0163i atinge oameni care au nevoie s\u0103 aud\u0103...<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":9834,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-9833","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-spicy"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/10\/crono.jpg?fit=300%2C300&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9833","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=9833"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9833\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":11391,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9833\/revisions\/11391"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/9834"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=9833"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=9833"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=9833"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
\n\u015ei, da, am dat block \u015fi pe exces de complimente. <\/p>\n