{"id":9938,"date":"2017-10-17T10:00:46","date_gmt":"2017-10-17T07:00:46","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/?p=9938"},"modified":"2019-04-03T18:03:38","modified_gmt":"2019-04-03T15:03:38","slug":"bretonul","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/bretonul\/","title":{"rendered":"Bretonul"},"content":{"rendered":"

Via\u0163a era foarte frumoas\u0103 pe p\u0103m\u00e2nt, toate epidemiile fuseser\u0103 vindecate, tot gunoiul cur\u0103\u0163at, tot de\u015fertul transformat \u00een lanuri de c\u00e2nep\u0103, to\u0163i fl\u0103m\u00e2nzii hr\u0103ni\u0163i, to\u0163i gra\u015fii sl\u0103biser\u0103, \u00eenc\u0103lzirea global\u0103 fusese stopat\u0103 cu succes \u015fi toate animalele f\u0103r\u0103 st\u0103p\u00e2n date spre adop\u0163ie, iar omul se plictisea \u00eengrozitor.
\nNu mai avea nici un motiv s\u0103-\u015fi bat\u0103 capul.
\nSie\u015fi sau altora.
\n\u015ei atunci l-a invocat pe \u015farpe:
\n-Nu-mi mai aduci, m\u0103, un m\u0103r?
\n-N\u0163. M-am c\u0103lug\u0103rit. Vreau s\u0103 meditez la binele universal.
\n-\u00ce\u0163i respect decizia, zise omul, pentru c\u0103, printre altele, fuseser\u0103 anihilate \u015fi \u00eenjur\u0103turile.
\n“Ce s\u0103 fac s\u0103-mi complic via\u0163a?”
\nDeodat\u0103, privind lanurile care se unduiau \u00een b\u0103taia soarelui, avu o idee. Lu\u0103 o foarfec\u0103 \u015fi-\u015fi tunse breton.
\nSe uit\u0103 \u00een oglind\u0103. Acum ar\u0103ta ca naiba, cu o fa\u0163\u0103 scurtat\u0103, turtit\u0103, buc\u0103lat\u0103 \u015fi deformat\u0103, iar asta era \u00een sf\u00e2r\u015fit o problem\u0103. Gata cu plictiseala.
\nDar v\u00e2nticelul care adia prietenos se opri, \u015fi tot bretonul \u00eei veni \u00een ochi. Suuuuperb. Nu doar c\u0103 avea o fa\u0163\u0103 scurtat\u0103, turtit\u0103, buc\u0103lat\u0103 \u015fi deformat\u0103, dar \u00eei disp\u0103ruser\u0103 \u015fi ochii printre tuleie. Nu mai vedea nici p\u00e2n\u0103-n v\u00e2rful nasului.
\nCe tare. Dou\u0103 probleme. Lumea redevenea un loc interesant.
\n\u00cencepu s\u0103 b\u00e2jb\u00e2ie dup\u0103 o agraf\u0103 sau ceva de genul, s\u0103 nu cad\u0103 \u00een cap, dar se \u00eempiedic\u0103 \u015fi c\u0103zu \u00een cur. \u015ei-\u015fi rupse \u015fi un picior. Sublim. Trei probleme. S\u0103 tot ai ce face.
\nPip\u0103i dup\u0103 telefon, s\u0103 vin\u0103 salvarea s\u0103-l ia, dar din gre\u015feal\u0103 sun\u0103 la poli\u0163ie.
\n-Bun\u0103 ziua, sunt cet\u0103\u0163eanul Vasile Paceaur\u0103 \u015fi mi-am tuns breton drept care mi-am rupt un picior.
\n-P\u0103i bine, domnule, ai senza\u0163ia c\u0103 suntem copii mici \u015fi ne juc\u0103m de-a telefoanele? Amend\u0103 pentru persiflarea organelor legii.
\nOK, deja patru probleme. Vasile nu era c\u00e2ine \u015fi nu avea coad\u0103, dar sufletul lui \u00eencepu s\u0103 dea dintr-o coad\u0103 imaginar\u0103. A\u015fa, nenic\u0103. Hai, univers, \u00eentoarce-te la stadiul de dulce haos, cu care ne-ai obi\u015fnuit, c\u0103 paradisul e plictisitor.
\nCu o floare nu se face prim\u0103var\u0103, dar cu un breton po\u0163i c\u0103dea din paradis. Avantaj bretonul.<\/p>\n

***<\/p>\n

\u00ce\u0163i place Po\u015fta redac\u0163iei? Po\u0163i sus\u0163ine \u015fi tu proiectul.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

***
\nVrei s\u0103 m\u0103 urm\u0103re\u015fti \u00een social media? \u00cemi po\u0163i da like pe Facebook<\/strong><\/a>, follow pe Twitter<\/a><\/strong> \u015fi Instagram<\/a><\/strong>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Via\u0163a era foarte frumoas\u0103 pe p\u0103m\u00e2nt, toate epidemiile fuseser\u0103 vindecate, tot gunoiul cur\u0103\u0163at, tot de\u015fertul transformat \u00een lanuri de c\u00e2nep\u0103, to\u0163i fl\u0103m\u00e2nzii hr\u0103ni\u0163i, to\u0163i...<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":9939,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-9938","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-spicy"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/10\/breton-e1554303805806.jpg?fit=670%2C640&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9938","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=9938"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9938\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":17147,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9938\/revisions\/17147"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/9939"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=9938"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=9938"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=9938"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}