John loves Mary

John loves Mary. Mary loves John.

John never calls Mary, therefore Mary never calls John.

John never emails Mary, therefore Mary never emails John.

John never beeps Mary, therefore Mary never beeps John.

John never talks to Mary, therefore Mary never talks to John.

But suddenly, John had a revelation:

-What if I didn’t ask Mary out on a date? It would add something new to our list of don’ts.

And John didn’t ask Mary out on a date. Therefore, Mary didn’t ask John either.

After a successful never-happened date, John had another revelation:

-What if I didn’t fuck Mary? It would be definitely something new we don’t do.

And John didn’t fuck Mary. Therefore, Mary didn’t fuck John either.

So, they continued by never going hiking, never traveling, never partying, never making morning coffee for two and, of course, never married. They spared the prenup and later, divorce expenses and custody claims.

That’s what I call true love.

Ce le-a fătat mintea

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No Responses

  1. dadatroll says:

    Da copi a avut?

  2. Lorena Lupu says:

    nu-s autor omniscient.

  3. raducuf says:

    adevarata dragoste!!

  4. Nea says:

    În sfârşit, un articol care face cinste cuvintelor de pe frontispiciul blogului!

  5. Nea says:

    Sau nici d’aia nu fac?

  6. batman says:

    batman does all those things to mary, therefore john shakes the beaver in the bathroom. well done john, you wanker !

  7. kixx says:

    Narrative underpinning: John is a figment of Mary’s imagination.

  8. Nea says:

    A, şi să nu uit, on topic.
    Scenă din 1989, la fântâna seacă din faţa gării de nord.
    O doamnă îmbrăcată în homless, destul de în vârstă şi foarte beată, se adresa cu voce foarte puternică trecătorilor şi celor care aşteptau autobuzul 182, cu cuvintele:
    – Domnilor, dacă cineva vrea să mă fută, să-mi spună. Ce fel de bărbat e ăla care nu are curaj nici măcar să-i spună unei femei că vrea să o fută?

    A repetat de multe ori textul dar, în peste jumătate de oră cât am aşteptat autobuzul, nici un bărbat nu a fost destul de bărbat.

  9. lelynx says:

    Well then,
    perhaps those two 🙂 are thinking too much alike in that respect to actually become lovers and in that case
    perhaps the most honest approach for both of them is to aim for and expect just good friendship, that may be something that could actually happen and yes friends also do care about eachother :).
    Hopefully sooner than later, they’ll figure all out by themselves, your characters I mean, well unless they chose to stay perfect in their perfectly distant true love, of course.

  10. Lorena Lupu says:

    hey, people, fiction is fiction and gossip is gossip. The text above is pure fiction. But it managed to turn you all into a bunch of precupeţe.

    • lelynx says:

      E pai si barfa poate fi luata ca o specie de fictiune, cea pe care indeobste mintile ale caror facultati discriminative sunt insuficient antrenate, nu o recunosc ca fictiune.
      desigur uneori jocul la limita speciilor de fictiuni poate fi uneori amuzant, alteori poate produce efecte mai putin placute, riscul jocului.
      acum sorry ca si mie imi place uneori sa raspund cu fictiune un pic mai inflorata la fictiune pura, sper sa nu fi alunecat pe panta respectiva, in barfol adica, sper.

      si zi asa deci, pe johnny boy il luara la urma melitar, nice, baiet smecher ce fuse el :))), pai daca asa, inseamna ca au ramas amandoi perfecti :), cool :).

  11. Nea says:

    Same to you, and twice on Friday.

  12. cracanel says:

    super-tare. parc-ar fi textul unui tip care-l imita pe nicolaescu, iosif sava si un comentator sportiv la costinesti cu cateva decade in urma. era vorba despre un taumaturg dintr-un asa-zis scenariu al lui sergiu nicolaescu.

    taumaturgul traia intr-un hangar si nu facea nimic. asta era si skepsis-ul, ca el era taumaturg si – desi ar fi putut daca vroia – nu facea.

    daca imi poti face rost de inregistrarea aia, iti ofer orice cu exceptia favorurilor sexuale.

    am si o intrebare pentru tine: cum poti sa stii ca sunt eu si nu cineva care chiar te iubeste?

  13. Lotus says:

    lorena decided to close san wanker’s corner. and therefore, her blog became perfect.

    however, i must say the world, with all it’s flaws, is perfect because we are still breathing. or perhaps god has made an error in evaluation.

  14. Adi M says:

    Auzi, ca tot citisem postu ala cu penibilitatile de la TV, dar de Botezatu si de emisiunile alea cu gagici ce spui?
    La reality showurile alea in familie macar le categorisesti direct ca circ ieftin, dar la asta se pot isca controverse. Pe de-o parte mie mi se par penibile unele situatii, pe de alta parte, omu e extravagant si oarecum e normal sa o dea in penibil, intra in atributiile lui.
    Acu tocmai le-a pus pe unele sa mearga pe tocuri de 15 cm la -20 de grade, de astea nici nu stiu daca sa rad sau sa le compatimesc.

  15. asdf says:

    Johny’s always running around, trying to find certainty. Mary combs her hair…

  16. nedormitul says:

    -What if I didn’t love Mary? It would be definitely something new we don’t do.
    And John didn’t love Mary. Therefore, Mary didn’t love John either.
    So, they continued by never going hiking, never traveling, never partying, never making morning coffee for two and, of course, never married. They spared the prenup and later, divorce expenses and custody claims.
    That’s what I call everlasting fuck.

  17. Ld says:

    sad 😐

  18. Nea says:

    Waralorofwankers

  19. daca ar fi fost cu Marisica si Ion povestea ar fi luat cu totu alta turnura, asa e cam trista, cica Marisica si Ion erau…

  1. March 17, 2011

    […] love text luat cu multa nesimtire d'aci John loves Mary. Mary loves John. John never calls Mary, therefore Mary never calls John. John […]

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